


Mistake or not, I’m blinded by you

by LittleHouseMouse



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Sex, Fist Fights, Frottage, Loki is 17, M/M, Masturbation, Object Insertion, Possible underage druguse, Protective Thor, Rimming, Sex, Sexual Coercion, Sibling Incest, Some angst, Thor is 20, Underage Drinking, Violence, Voyeurism, attempted non-con, blowjob, dickpic, kissing after rimming, not between Loki and Thor though!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2019-11-17 17:43:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 27
Words: 70,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18103343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleHouseMouse/pseuds/LittleHouseMouse
Summary: Thor finds out his little brother Loki's online activities include taking his clothes off in front of the camera and getting paid for it. He's worried and takes a bigger interest in his brother's life. He was not prepared.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first attempt at Thorki. Be gentle? Also English is not my native language so I'll probably make mistakes. 
> 
> Tags will be updated as the story goes.

Thor startled awake at the sound from his phone. Usually he put it on silent before he went to bed but apparently he’d forgotten to do that last night. He groaned as he stretched like a big cat and scratched his belly before reaching for his phone. Loki's name on the screen made him frown. It wasn’t even ten in the morning on a Saturday, and everyone knew Thor liked to sleep in on the weekends. Their parents had probably already left to visit uncle Ve, and his family, and wouldn’t be back until the evening. He sighed. Whatever reason Loki had to wake him up, it had definitely started his Saturday on the wrong side. Also their rooms were right next to each other, how lazy could you get?

Just as he swiped his screen and opened the message, a loud thump came from Loki’s room and then a loud _“Fuck_!” penetrated the wall. Loki came running and pounded on his door.

“Don’t open it!” Loki yelled before he rattled the handle on Thor’s door. Most times, Thor didn’t lock his door but he did last night. He was gonna look at some porn before bed and definitely didn’t want any surprise visits then. He’d found the gay videos easily on the same pages he’d used before, looked at some of them and enjoyed the men moaning and mewling while fucking each other, making his own cock hard. Thor had already known he probably wasn’t completely straight a few months back when he’d had a wet dream about one of his male teachers and then used it for fantasizing when jerking off after that.

“Thor! Don’t open it!” Loki really sounded desperate.

Thor looked down on his phone and _Oh dear Jesus_ . He had already opened it and there was a picture of his brother’s dick. It took up all the screen, from the shiny tip down to his apparently shaved(!) balls. Oh gosh, _everything_ was shaved.

“What the hell?!” He yelled back to Loki.

“I told you not to open it!” Loki yelled back before he mumbled something unintelligible.

Thor got out of the bed, unlocked and swung the door open, staring his brother down. It wasn’t that much of a _down_ anymore though, Loki was almost as tall as him now. Loki was skinny where Thor were more bulky, but their height didn’t differ that much, only a few inches. Speaking of inches.

“What the hell?” He repeated.

“It wasn’t meant for _you_.” Loki almost hissed, his face red as a beet. He was clearly embarrassed. Thor couldn’t remember when he had ever seen his brother so red in the face.

“Who the hell are you sending those kind of pics to?” Thor frowned.

“A... friend?”

“Loki, if you’re gonna lie at least _try_ to sound convincing.”

“Look, I’m sorry okay? Can you please delete the picture from your phone?” Loki sounded exasperated as if Thor was the one who did something wrong.

“Already have. Seriously, who are you sending those to?”

“Why do you care?” Loki was already walking away from him towards his own room.

“I care.”

“Right... Fuck off, Thor.” Loki slammed his door shut and Thor clenched his fists. Loki had become such an asshole lately.

“You... fuck off.” Thor muttered in discontent before going back to his bed, also slamming the door behind him. His brother was a shit.

******

As soon as Loki hit the shower down the hall from their rooms, Thor sneaked into his room. Even if Loki was a sour son of a bitch, Thor was worried. Loki wasn't even eighteen yet so if he was sending that kind of pics to some perv out there, Thor was going to have to sit his brother down and have a stern talk about sending nudes to people and that he shouldn’t do it. Or at least wait for a few months until he was eighteen. Even then, he shouldn’t really do it, it could be dangerous if he sent it to the wrong person.

Inside Loki’s room, Thor looked around as if he saw the room for the first time. He hadn’t been in here for several months and it had changed quite a lot. Loki had rearranged the furniture and put up curtains, long black ones that shut out most of the light. His closet was open and Thor peeked inside and his mouth fell open. Loki had a lot of new clothes, some of them even had the price tags still attached. 500 dollars for a pair of pants? Insane. Almost all the clothes looked new, except for a few things. Thor’s old hoodie was in there, as well as Loki’s old rock band t-shirts. How did Loki afford all these clothes? His allowance could only reach so far and this wardrobe cost way more than that. Did he steal them? He looked around the room again and saw a laptop on the bed. It wasn’t the one he got from their parents on his birthday last year, that one was on his desk over by the door. This was a much newer model. Thor could still hear the shower running so he sat down on Loki's unmade bed and opened the laptop.

Several tabs were open and they seemed harmless. Then he opened the last one and a porn-site popped up. Loki was logged in as... ‘ _L_ _u_ _scious Mischievous_ ’. What the hell had his brother gotten himself into? Could you even _start_ an account when you’re not eighteen? Thor found his profile and of course he’d lied about his age. He claimed to be 20, like Thor. His profile pic was only of the lower half of his face. The mouth tilted in a half-smirk while his tongue licked the corner of his mouth and his lips were covered in the shiniest lip-gloss Thor had ever seen. Apparently he had over 10.000 followers. 10.000 people perving over his brother! What. The. Fuck. And his profile had a gold star on it, what the hell did _that_ mean?

Suddenly the shower turned off and Thor hurriedly closed the laptop and hurried back to his own room. He could feel his face was still stuck in a shocked expression. His kid brother had a profile on a porn-site with 10.000 followers. What the hell did he do to achieve that? Thor squeezed his eyes shut and realized what he had to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor goes online and is... surprised. 
> 
> Ok, I'm posting one more chapter to get the fic going a bit more. I will try to post either 1/week or 1/ every other week. Don't know yet how many chapters this will be. It may be 5, it may grow to 10, who knows?
> 
> Thank you for reading! Also mind the tags as the chapters come up!

It didn’t take long to sign up once he came up with a name and he went directly to Loki’s page. There were thumbnails that Thor pretended he didn’t see and oh my God, there were _videos_! The thumbnails for the vids were blurred so he couldn’t see what was going on so he tried clicking one but another window popped up, telling him he needed the Premium Membership to watch it. While Thor was kind of relieved it didn’t play, it boggled his mind that Loki was a Premium Profile. He didn’t know these sites even had Premium Profiles. Thor didn’t want to know what he did in those videos, not really, but he did have a few questions about them. Was he with someone else in them? Did they know Loki was only seventeen? Was Loki having sex with strangers? Most importantly, was he safe? Thor knew for a fact that some of the videos on these kind of sites could be pretty disturbing, like barely legal people having sex with people old enough to croak of old age any time. If he found out something like that was happening to his brother, Thor would snap and kill the fuckers. What was Loki even thinking? What if their parents found out about this?

Thor logged out and went down into the kitchen to grab some breakfast but looking at the clock he decided he should probably make some lunch instead. He rummaged through the fridge and came up with some chicken and red bell-peppers along with a red onion and some cream. He boiled pasta while he sliced everything and threw it into a pan. He seasoned it and ended with pouring some cream over it all and let it simmer for a few minutes. After tasting it, he deemed it edible. The timer beeped and Thor drained the pasta, just when Loki walked into the kitchen. He was dressed in black jeans and a baggy gray T-shirt, just ordinary clothes. What did Thor expect anyway? Now that he (sort of) knew what Loki did online, he’d suddenly appear in see- through shirts and tight leather pants? Thor blinked and focused on the food, he couldn’t meet his brother’s eyes just yet.

“Mm, that smells delicious.” Loki said and sniffed the air. “Can I have some?”

“Uh... sure.” Thor pulled two plates from the cupboard and filled them with food before putting them on the table. Loki always ate like a horse but was still a beanpole, he always had been. Their parents had even been questioned by the social services when Loki and Thor were still little kids, took tests and making sure Loki was healthy. He had more muscles now but his body was still lean and had smoother lines than Thor’s bulky muscles. Which was probably favored by the creeps out there watching his brother _do_ _things_ online. Ugh!

“What is it? You look like someone kicked your puppy or something.” Loki asked between his bites, and Thor got nervous all of a sudden. How could he possibly bring it up in the middle of lunch? And could he please do it without looking at Loki while doing it?

Before he had the chance though, their mother called Thor on his cell and asked to be put on speaker so she could talk to both of them at the same time. She explained that just as they had pulled into uncle Ve’s driveway, the fan belt in their car broke so they wouldn’t be home until late Sunday, maybe even Monday. She transferred two hundred dollars to Thor's account so they could get pizzas or something. ‘No parties!’ she joked before hanging up.

“So, pizza later tonight?” Thor asked while twiddling with his phone, still not looking at his brother.

“No, I already have plans. Thanks for lunch.” Loki quickly rose and put his plate in the dishwasher.

“Plans? What plans?” Thor finally looked at him. His brother looked like he always looked, albeit a bit more annoyed.

“Plans.” Loki just shrugged his shoulders and started walking out of the kitchen.

“You need a ride?” Thor grimaced. He sounded desperate even to his own ears. But it made Loki pause and turn towards him again.

“Okay Thor, what’s going on?”

“Going on? What do you mean?” Well, shit. Thor was definitely not going to be a spy in the future. Or a poker player. Or any job where he had to keep a straight face.

“Thor, we’ve spoken a maximum of twenty sentences to each other for the last four months and now you want to give me a ride? Something must be going on.”

“Nothing’s going on. I’m just... worried.” Thor frowned and realized he didn’t really make any sense unless he explained why. Thor was very much not ready to have that conversation. Yet.

“Worried?” Loki’s eyebrows climbed his forehead. “You haven’t worried about me since... when? You met Jane?” Loki laughed bitterly and it stung Thor in the chest because it wasn’t true. Not really.

“I’ve just been busy.” He winced. It sounded terrible said out loud. Did he really suck at being a big brother these days?

“Right. Why don’t you just go get busy with Jane again and I’ll hang out with my mates, alright?”

“I’m not with Jane anymore.” It had been over for weeks, ever since he explained to her that he might be bisexual. She didn’t take the news very well and after just a week, she dumped him. She was already with someone new.

“Oh you’re not?” Loki smirked in that tilted smile he had on his profile pic on that goddamn site. Thor looked away, feeling guilty for even knowing that.

“No, we broke up like a month ago.”

“You... really? I didn’t know that.”

“You didn’t?”

“No. You barely talk to me anymore so how could I?” Loki quickly retreated from the kitchen and stomped his way up the stairs to his bedroom and slammed the door again.

Thor sighed and rubbed his eyes. It wasn’t even two in the afternoon and damn if he didn’t already feel exhausted. He sucked.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MInd the tags for this one!

It was almost midnight but Thor was still awake in his bed, waiting for his brother to come home. He’d called him around ten but Loki didn’t answer, letting him go to voicemail. He kept telling himself that Loki was fine, he was just meeting some friends and hanging out, even though his stomach wanted to turn itself inside out with worry. He jumped as his phone rang, finally. It was Loki. Thank God.

“Hello? Loki?”

“Thor...” Loki’s voice was almost a whisper. “Can- can you come pick me up?”

“Loki? What’s going on?”

“Please?” Loki’s voice rasped and Thor was out of his bed immediately, putting his sweatpants on with one hand. Loki _never_ said please. He must be in some kind of trouble.

“Where are you? I’ll come get you.”

“That old abandoned farmhouse just outside of town, remember?”

“I’ll be there in 20 minutes.” He said and wanted to say something more but Loki hung up on him. Thor threw on a t-shirt, grabbed his car-keys and was out the door in less than a minute. He remembered the place well, he and Loki had been there in the past with some friends boozing it up and hanging out. A few times, they had pulled a Houdini and told their parents they were staying over at a friend’s house while the others had told their parents the same thing and then they just stayed over at the farmhouse. The nights they spent there they laid close under blankets during the darkest hours. Loki had been 12 or 13 back then and one time he’d started crying during the night because there were animals screaming in the distance, turning the whole experience into a horror movie for him.

Thor broke the speed limit.

*****

As he turned down the road to the farmhouse, Thor knew something was wrong. He saw Loki standing alone against one side of the barn, hugging himself with his head hung low. He didn’t seem to notice Thor had arrived. Just as Thor stopped and turned off the car in the parking lot, another man came out from the barn. He had long hair, almost to his waist, tight leather pants and his shirt was open. A cigarette hung from the corner of his mouth and he walked with a swagger like he thought he was a cowboy or something.

“Lokiiii, here boy!” He called and laughed and Loki’s head snapped around, looking a bit panicked. Thor got out of the car and quickly approached his brother, ready to step between them. The other guy didn’t seem to have noticed Thor either.

“Just leave me alone, Charlie. I’m not interested anymore, okay?” Loki pushed away from the wall and he was obviously very drunk.

“Come on, Loki. You _owe_ me.”

“I don’t owe you shit.” Loki said and staggered as he tried to stand to his full height but failing. The guy was still a head shorter than Loki.

“You promised me a blowjob if we came out here.”

“That was bef- before you invited other people to join us.”

“Don’t be a prude now. I never promised you exclusivity. Bet you could learn a thing or two from them. Come on now babe, on your knees.” The guy dared put his hands on Loki’s shoulder, trying to press him downwards. It was very apparent Loki didn’t want it.

“Stop. We’re over.”

“Loki...”

“Unless you remove your hand from his shoulder, it will be the last thing you ever touch with it.” Thor said as he was standing almost right behind him. The guy quickly turned around to face him. He looked at him from head to toe and gave a low whistle.

“Who the fuck are you, love?”

“Loki.” Thor said and his brother met his gaze. He smiled faintly.

“You came.” he said quietly.

“Whoa whoa, you know this guy, babe?” Charlie said and pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and crunched it under his boot. He smelled like sweat and dirt and sour booze.

“N-not your babe anymore.” Loki stretched a hand out towards Thor and he took it, pulling Loki to him. Thor was surprised when Loki came closer and actually walked into his arms, hugging him. They hadn’t hugged since... Thor couldn’t remember. He hugged him back and Loki whispered into his ear. “We have to go. Now.”

“Sure.” He said and started to lead Loki to his car.

“Hey, you can’t just take my boyfriend away from me like that.” Charlie started following them.

“Pretty sure he’s not your boyfriend anymore.” Thor stated and put one of Loki’s arms over his shoulders to help him better.

“Yeah. Fuck off.” Loki said and clung to Thor. Suddenly Loki was tugged away and landed on the ground with a loud thud and he cried out in pain. Charlie put his hands up like he was a boxer and he was gonna fight Thor.

“Walk away, dude.” Thor said.

“Loki is mine.”

“No, he’s not. Did you not hear him? Seriously dude, walk away. I’m taking Loki home with me.”

“You have to go through me first.” Charlie refused to give up.

“Are you so stoned you can’t hear properly or something? Loki doesn’t want you anymore. Okay?” Thor sighed. How stupid _was_ this guy?

“Please. Like I’d let that whore decide when we’re over?”

That was it. Thor took two steps and hit him right in the face before Charlie even knew what happened. Charlie fell backwards and hit the ground, hard. He groaned, then he grabbed his nose.

“You broke my nose!” he cried out.

“I should fucking hope so.” Thor said before he bent over his brother and picked him up, one arm around his back and the other under his knees. It was probably the quickest way to get him into the car. As they were driving away, he saw a few other people come out of the barn, wearing almost nothing. What kind of people had Loki gotten involved with here?

*****

They drove in silence for a while before Loki cleared his throat.

“I’m not, you know.” Loki looked out the window as the city lights were coming closer.

“You’re not what?”

“What he said. I’m not a whore.” Loki started picking at his fingernails.

“I never thought you were.” Thor said, never taking his eyes off the road. He could feel Loki looking at him intently for a few moments.

“Thank you.” He said quietly.

“For what?”

“For believing me. And for coming to get me.” Loki’s voice broke at the last word and then he sobbed into the sleeve of his jacket.

“Loki, what the hell happened back there?”

“Not now, Thor, please.” Loki wiped at his eyes but sobbed again, making more tears spill. Thor could only drive on.

Loki chuckled as they met two police cars going the opposite way. Thor shot him a glance.

“I called them.” Loki said and chuckled again before even more tears spilled down his cheeks.

When they got home, it was a quick thing to get Loki into bed and tucking him in. Thor sat with him for a few minutes as his puffy eyes drooped lower and lower, still refusing to talk about what happened. Right before he drifted off, he took one of Thor’s hands into both of his and squeezed. Then he was sleeping.

Thor went back to his room, confused and angry. His hand only ached a little, he probably wouldn’t even bruise. The fucking nerve on that guy. And he was Loki’s boyfriend? When the hell did Loki get a boyfriend? And also since when was Loki gay? Maybe he was Bi like Thor? But still.

So many thoughts swirled through his head as he crawled into bed again. Had Thor really been so absent in Loki’s life that he didn’t know anything about him anymore? His big brother card should probably be rescinded.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The talk" about what happened last night. Thor needs to know.

It was close to lunch when Loki came into the kitchen, wearing only a T-shirt, boxers and big sunglasses, expensive designer ones. A major hangover then.

“Morning sunshine.” Thor said behind the newspaper. He’d been up by eight, even though he’d barely slept last night. By eight he just gave up trying and went for a shorter run, only 30 minutes, running around the block a few times. All the time thinking about Loki and himself, their relationship and how much Thor had been absent in his brothers life lately. Guilt made him push harder and harder until it felt like his legs would fall off. After the run he’d showered, cooked breakfast for himself and then brewed a generous amount of coffee, counting on that Loki would probably need some when he got up. 

“Mmh.” Was all Loki said as he checked the coffeepot if there was anything in there for him.

“Thermos here on the table.”

“Thanks.” Loki took his favorite mug from the cupboard and pumped the thermos for coffee. Steam rose from it so it was still hot. He quickly stirred some sugar and a dash of milk into it before taking a sip. He sat down opposite Thor with a sigh, putting both his hands around the mug.

“You want something to eat?” Thor folded the paper, put it on the table and grinned. 

“Ugh, no. Shut up.” Loki looked he would barf any second.

“You sure? There’s some extra greasy bacon in the fridge for you if you want.”

“Stop it Thor, I’m gonna vomit.”

Thor chuckled as he could actually hear Loki’s stomach gurgling and Loki tuned about three shades paler.

“Well that’s what you get for going out and getting drunk.” Thor folded his arms on the newspaper and looked at his brother, giving him an opening to start talking.

“Right.” Loki frowned and sipped on his coffee. “So...” He started.

“So?” Thor nodded for Loki to continue. 

“I’m gay.” Loki said, staring into his mug.

“Uh huh, and?” Thor wanted to hear about that idiot from last night. Loki’s head shot up. 

“And? You- you’re not shocked and disgusted?”

“No. Why would I be?”

“Because I’m a guy. Who likes other guys?”

“Yeah, thanks for the lesson but I’m fully aware of what _gay_ means. Why, did someone say something to you?”

“Maybe.”

“Well whoever it was, fuck’em. Okay? Don’t give the haters any power over you.” Thor frowned because who the hell dared say something phobic his little brother about that? Loki gave him a lopsided grin now and Thor felt better, like he may have done something good.

“Thanks.” Loki said and swallowed down the last coffee in his mug before helping himself to another.

“Tell me about Charlie.” Thor said after Loki slurped more coffee. Loki groaned and put his forehead to the cool surface of the table.

“Can we do this later?”

“Nope. Tell me now or I’m gonna keep pestering you about it until you do.” Thor needed to know what kind of people Loki hung out with these days.

“Fine!” Loki sat up and took off his sunglasses, squinting at the bright light in the kitchen. “Charlie is, _was_ , my boyfriend.”

“I gathered that. How did you meet?”

“A girl at school. She heard I was gay and wanted to hook me up with her cousin, Charlie. We were introduced at a party like seven months ago but we started off as friends. I think. Then one night he kissed me, and I kissed him back. Last night was our 6 month anniversary.”

“But something happened? Went wrong?”

“You could say that. I feel weird talking to you about this but, yeah. At the beginning of our relationship I promised him that if we ever made it to 6 months, I would sleep with him. Then yesterday, on the day, I changed my mind. So I offered him a blowjob instead if we went to the old farmhouse and I _was_ gonna do it, but then these other people showed up. Friends of his. We drank beer and a few shots of something stronger and more and more people showed up. Anyway, we were making out and then this girl comes up to us, sits on his lap and introduces herself as Sophie, his girlfriend.”

“No way.” Thor was disturbed, had Charlie just played his brother the whole six months they were dating?

“Yes way. So I started to get up but they both pulled me back to them and Sophie said she didn’t mind to share him with one of his...” Loki’s lips wobbled as he struggled with saying it.

“One of his what?”

“Playthings. Then he told her about us, my promise, and she laughed and called me a slut. She said she kind of wanted to see it, to see Charlie fuck one of his whores. Charlie agreed it would be hot to put on a show for everyone who was there. To make everyone a part of the occasion.” Loki wiped at his eyes as he continued.

“I didn’t want to. I’ve never... you know. With someone else. I refused and he started calling me things and Sophie goaded him on and people were pulling out their phones, ready to take pictures. And Charlie’s stronger than me so he kept pushing me down on the ground.” 

“ _What_? Who the fuck are these people?” Thor would kill him. He would hunt Charlie down and fucking kill him twice, that’s what he deserved.

“Anyway, I broke free and told him we were over and that’s when I called you. I went outside and waited for you. I could still hear them inside the barn, making fun of me. I thought Charlie really cared about me, you know? Then he came to find me again and the rest you know.”

“Glad I came when I did.” Thor sat back in his seat. Loki didn’t say much about it but Thor could still read him pretty well. The events of last night hurt him like nothing else ever had. There were tears but his hurt went so much deeper than that. And no wonder. Charlie was an asshole, a rapist in the making. 

“Me too. I’m glad you came at all.” That hurt Thor more than Loki would ever know.

“Of course I came, Loki. I know I’ve been a shit brother lately but please know that I love you. And I always will. Okay? No matter what you tell me, I will always love you. And if you’re ever in trouble, like last night, you can call me and I will come for you.”

Loki sniffed and smiled.

“What’s gotten into you? You high or something?” 

“No. But I’ve done a lot of thinking and I realized I _have_ been a bad brother. I mean, we used to do everything together but now we barely talk. I really don’t like that.”

“Me either.” Loki got up and put his mug in the dishwasher and went back upstairs, putting his sunglasses back on. Thor let him go.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor made up his mind. If Loki hung out with people like Charlie in his free time, what kind of people did he engage with online? As his big brother, it was his responsibility to make sure Loki was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday! Ok guys, this is where it gets explicit! Hold on to your seats. I hope you like it!

Thor made up his mind. If Loki hung out with people like Charlie in his free time, what kind of people did he engage with online? As his big brother, it was his responsibility to make sure Loki was safe and took care of himself. Thor had knocked on Loki’s door by three o’clock and asked if he wanted pizza but Loki said no so Thor left him alone. They wouldn’t get pizza before their parents came home. He better put that money to good use in some other way, a.k.a. getting a Premium membership on that goddamn porn-site where Loki was some kind of star.

With his laptop in his lap, he followed the instructions and it didn’t even take three minutes to finish it all. $20 for the first month. Okay then. Thor glanced towards the door trying to remember if he locked it or not. He was definitely not in the mood for  _that_ discussion today in case Loki happened to walk in on him. How would he even find words to explain himself? He quickly went to the door and made sure it was locked. He sat down on his bed again, pulled the laptop to him and clicked Loki’s profile. Gosh. He had like 30 videos on here and over 60 pictures. Now he could see the thumbnails that were blurred before and okay, that was just something you should never watch you kid brother do. Thor scrolled down Loki’s page and clicked the first pic he’d ever posted.

Loki was on his own bed, Thor recognized those sheets, leaning against the headboard on a couple of pillows. No face, only from the neck down. Completely naked. His nipples were stiff and pink like they had just been pinched, his skin looked smoother than Thor had ever seen it and sort of shiny. His legs were spread wide and his erection lied flat against his belly, again with the wet tip. Thor’s eyes quickly went to his phone and back to the screen. He’d never deleted that pic. But in this picture, he still had some hair on his groin. It was just as dark as one would expect, and it was neatly trimmed. Thor had to wonder if he did it himself or if he had someone to help him?

As he got to the bottom of the pic he swallowed. Loki was fingering himself. His hole was pink and by the way the light reflected off of it, also very wet. Two of his slender fingers were inside him, to the second knuckle. It looked like a tight fit. Thor’s eyes went even lower to the comments section and it was full of dirty comments. People wanted to finger him, suck his hole, lick him, spank him and fuck him raw until he couldn’t walk. Why did people always have to be so crude online? Yes, it was a porn-site but you could still have manners, you know?

Thor looked through a few other pics, his face hot from blushing so much. Loki got more experimental, braver and tried new things. It was pretty clear Loki took suggestions from the comments and people seemed happy when he tried their thing. Loki got more and more comments the more pics he posted. On one pic Loki was on his knees on his bed, giving people a close up of his asshole while he inserted something that looked like some kind of hard, black plastic. It was round but sort of slim. Wait, wasn’t that... Jesus. Thor had seen that thing in the bathroom many times on Loki’s shelf before it disappeared one day and never came back. It was the case to Loki’s old toothbrush that he’d used when traveling or spending the night at a friends house. So that’s where it went. Thor had to pause to keep himself from starting to laugh out of embarrassment for knowing this. He read the comments, again people were oversharing what they wanted to do to his brother. Creeps.

About 20 comments down, he froze. ‘Loved the clip, hot as fuck.’ it said.  _Clip?!_ Thor looked at the picture again and below it, it said “Still from clip 01 by  Luscious Mischievous.” and Thor’s jaw dropped. He made a video with that thing? Feeling guilty, he went to Loki’s videos and found it. It was five minutes long. Thor pinched the bridge of his nose. Was he  _really_ gonna do this? This was a big line to cross here. 

He pressed play but flinched when he heard Loki’s voice loud and clear and paused it immediately. He plugged in his headphones. Jesus! What if Loki heard him through the wall? He would know what Thor was doing, break into his room and stab him or something.

He pressed play again and there his brother was, smiling at the camera. Only his lower face was visible, just like his profile pic.

“Hi everyone.” Loki’s voice was soft and smooth as silk in this. “So I’ve had a lot of requests of making a video and of inserting something other than my fingers. So here I am, doing both. I don’t really have any real toys to play with so I took what I could find. It’s not that big but at least it’s longer than my fingers. I’m new at this so be nice in the comments, okay?”

Thor was already blushing hard, even before the sexy stuff had started.

“So, I already fingered myself to make it easier to take it. Like I said it’s not big but it will be the first thing I have in my ass that aren’t my fingers. I think maybe I should ease into it so I don’t hurt myself. We don’t want that, do we?” Loki then chuckled and rearranged the camera and then himself onto his back so the camera filmed only his butt. He spread his legs, showing off his glistening hole and rubbing the case back and forth a few times. The bottom of the case was a bit rounded so Thor could understand why he’d gone with that, it was the closest thing to a real toy.

Loki pressed the thing against his opening and even though he said he’d prepared, it refused to open at first. Loki’s arm disappeared outside the frame, then came back with his fingers really shiny. Extra lube. Loki rubbed it over the thing and tried again. He moved it around a bit more until the tip slid in. Loki hissed and gave a little moan.

“OK, that feels a bit bigger than the two fingers I usually use. But, oh, it’s... definitely good.” Loki said as he pushed it in further. He hummed as he withdrew it an inch, then pushed it further in.

“Oh wow. Definitely good.” Loki pushed it deeper and deeper, right until the edge where the lid started. He pulled it out and inserted it all in one go. He repeated the motion a few times and then he started moaning and gasping. It went in and out of him in a smooth slide now, and it was almost hypnotic in a way.  Loki paused once and leaned a bit closer to the camera.

“Checking you comments. Angle it? Okay, I’ll try.” He leaned back and angled it in the suggested way. “Oh God.” He gasped and moaned louder, starting to press the case into his hole harder in that angle. Prostate, Thor knew it from watching other videos. He’d never tried it himself and he’d thought most of the guys in the videos were faking it, but watching this video right now, he was definitely interested in trying it in the future. Loki was not faking it.

On the screen, Loki was really fucking himself with the thing  now and he grasped his cock and started jerking it in the same rhythm as he was moving the thing in and out of his ass. He got to his knees and moved closer to the camera so you could see everything. Jesus. 

“Oh God, _yes_. That’s so good. Fuck, I’m gonna come.” Loki was really going at it. “Yes, fuck. _Fuck me._ ” Then he gasped loudly before letting out a drawn out moan. You could see his cock spurting onto the sheet beneath him as he came. He kept fucking himself for a few moments before stilling his movements completely. He pulled his hand away so his audience could see the case move within his pulsing opening. Then the clip ended.

Thor pushed his laptop away and tugged off his headphones. He could hear himself breathing hard and his cock strained against his pants, begging for release. Thor cupped it through the fabric and couldn’t stop the moan tearing from his throat. Fuck it, he’d save the guilt until after. Spitting into his fist and reaching into his pants he pulled his cock vigorously. It didn’t even take two minutes before he came in his underwear and Thor closed his eyes and leaned against his headboard, panting and his thighs still shivering from the power of his orgasm. He hadn’t come like that for a long time and it was all thanks to his brother.

What the fuck was  _wrong_ with him?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos you guys!

Their parents didn’t come home until Monday evening. Thor had pretty much hidden away in his room so he wouldn’t have to see Loki. The shame felt like a thousand pound cloak hanging over his shoulders and he wasn’t sure how to behave towards his brother at the moment. He knew himself well enough to know that the next time he’d see Loki, Thor would blush and when Loki asked him why, he wouldn’t be able to tell him. After he’d gotten off right after watching his brother getting off, he hadn’t been to the porn-site again. Partly because of shame but also partly because he didn’t need to. He could still see pretty much the whole clip before his eyes if he closed them for long enough. It was bad, it was all terribly bad. Avoidance was necessary right now.

But then their parents came home and insisted they’d have a family dinner. Which is why Thor was now staring down at his plate while putting another bite of smoked salmon into his mouth, avoiding eye-contact with everyone. The only time Thor ate fish was when it was some form of salmon. Preferably smoked or when his mom baked it in the oven, wrapped in tinfoil with spices and vegetables. He mumbled his replies to the conversations around him and continued to eat his food, planning to escape at first given opportunity.

“That’s a great idea, Loki! You boys pop off to the store while your father and I take care of the dishes and wash up.”

“Wait, what?” Thor panicked. He couldn’t be alone with Loki in a car now. It meant they would have to talk to each other during the drive. God, his face was already growing warm, just thinking about it.

“What’s wrong?” Loki frowned when Thor finally look at him. Loki sucked his fork clean and Thor couldn’t help but following the movement with his eyes. His brother’s lips were glistening and whether it was his saliva or lip-gloss, Thor didn’t know. But he suddenly remembered a comment from the porn-site where someone had written they wanted to shove his dick down Loki’s throat and see those shiny lips wrap around him. He squeezed his eyes shut, that was a forbidden place for his mind to go.

“Uh, sorry.” He said. “I’m getting a headache.” he said and pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked towards their mother when she started to speak but she was interrupted by Loki.

“Right. Never mind then.” Loki shoved himself away from the table and left, stomping up the stairs and in a true Loki-fashion, slammed his door.

“What happened?” Odin asked from across the table. Both their parents looked confused.

“I don’t know.” Frigga replied. “Thor, why don't you go check on your brother.”

“Mom I-”

“I wasn’t asking, Thor. Something happened this weekend and I don’t know what, but you are going to fix it. _Now_.”

Frigga's determined face and the steel in her voice made it clear that arguing would be useless. Groaning, he pushed away from the table and followed his brother’s steps. He knocked on Loki’s door but got no answer. The door was locked when he tried the door handle. Was he even in there?

“Loki, let me in.” He knocked again. No reply. He knocked harder. “Come on, Loki. Let me in. Please?” There was no movement at all on the other side of that door. “Okay, fine! Have it your way.” Thor stomped his feet hard and then softer until he stopped entirely, still in the same spot. He’d used the trick when they were kids and Loki always fell for it. Thor could only hope it worked this time too, he hadn’t tried it for years.

Not even a minute later the door clicked and was opened. Loki yelped and stepped back when Thor pushed through into his room.

“What the hell are you doing, you big oaf?” Loki looked pissed.

“What happened down there?”

“What happened? You’re asking me? I think you were pretty obvious with not wanting to go to the store with me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Mom wanted to do that dessert thing with ice cream, chocolate, bananas and meringues.”

“Oh, I love that one.” No really, Thor LOVED that dessert. Their mom usually only made it when one of them were really sick.

“Yeah, you didn’t listen very well did you. Hiding from me since noon on Sunday, barely eating and picking on your food and then you don’t want to go to the store. It’s obvious, isn’t it?”

“What is?” Thor really had no idea what he was talking about.

“You can’t handle that I’m gay, can you?” Loki had gone from looking pissed to looking really hurt. His arms were wrapped around his skinny torso, like he was hugging himself.

“ _What_? Loki that is not-”

“Yeah right. Why don’t you go and hang out with your _straight_ friends, eh?”

“It’s not about you being gay, alright?”

“Sure it isn’t.” Loki’s eyes went shiny with tears and Thor could just kick himself. Hiding away from his brother to save himself from his own embarrassment at what he did, made Loki think it was because he came out? Thor closed the distance between them and put his hand on Loki’s shoulder then slid it up to the side of his neck. He made sure Loki looked him in the eyes when he said what he wanted to say.

“I said I love you and that I always will and that is the truth. That will never change, okay? Never. I’m just a little out of my head right now, but it’s not about you being gay. Never ever think that, because it’s not true.”

“Then why did you hide away until mom and dad came home?” Loki sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

“I don’t know. I-I’m just in a weird and very confusing place right now. I just wanted to be alone. It’s not about you liking guys. And it _never_ will be. Do you hear me?” Thor squeezed gently on that slim neck, willing Loki to believe him. Loki nodded but didn’t say anything, instead he looked down into the carpet. He looked so small and helpless, even if he was almost as tall as Thor.

Thor couldn’t help himself. By his neck, he pulled Loki into an embrace and wrapped his arms around him. He hugged him tight, and tighter still when Loki sniffled against his shoulder. Loki’s arms came around his waist and hugged back. It felt like a huge win and Thor wanted to cheer, but he did it on the inside. On the outside, he slid a hand into Loki’s dark curls and grabbed a hold of it for a moment. Whatever Loki used in his hair it smelled amazing. Like green apples fresh from one of the apple trees in their garden.

“I love you, you brat.” He said to the side of Loki’s face.

“I love you too. Thanks Thor.” Loki pulled back and Thor was about to open his mouth to say something more when something on Loki’s bed caught his eyes. Something very pink.

“Uh... What is that?” He gestured towards the bed and Loki looked over his shoulder and then his eyes grew wide.

“Shit!” Loki ran over and picked it up and Thor saw immediately that it was indeed a dildo. A dildo in hot pink.

“Whoa!” Definitely bigger than the old toothbrush case, but not that big. And it had one of those suction cups at the bottom.

“Don’t look at it, you freak!” Loki shouted and threw it under his bed covers. “And don’t you fucking laugh!” Loki pointing a finger at him really did it and Thor started laughing, loud and boisterous. He had to lean over and support himself on his knees, still laughing. He started wheezing when he caught sight of Loki biting his lips, trying his best not to laugh. He failed miserably and they were both laughing themselves to tears.

“What’s going on in here?” Frigga peeked her head through the door and the sheer panic on Loki’s face, then Loki throwing himself over his dildo as if Frigga could see it through the covers, set Thor off again and he had to sit on the floor right there. Neither of them could answer her of course.

They would be alright, Thor knew it in that moment.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is restless so he wants to party with his friends.

Thor was restless.

He and his brother had grown closer and they were talking more, about pretty much everything. They even made a couple of plans together for the summer. They would try to renovate their old tree house into a decent space and not let it fall to ruins. It wasn’t really a tree house though, but they always called it that. Frigga didn’t want them climbing around in the trees when they were little so the tree house was built on the ground instead. They had been so angry at her back then.

Loki had a vision for it now, he even drew it so he could show Thor what he had in mind and Thor fully supported it. Instead of the old ‘castle’ they had when they were children, it could transform into a somewhat cool place for them to hang out either together or with friends or when they felt the need to be alone and their own rooms were not far away enough from the rest of the family. Sometimes you just needed to get out of the house to be alone and instead of escaping to a friend, they could use the tree house. Thor had a feeling Loki would be the one to use it the most, even if Thor was the one who would (probably) do the most physical labor, sawing planks and nailing them together and shit. Loki was still a hormonal teenager with mood swings that could go from zero to a hundred in two seconds and sometimes he needed a place to calm down at his own pace.

In the back of his mind he wondered if Loki would do one of his vids out there when it was done. Even though he didn’t want them, those kind of thoughts came automatically now. Thor couldn’t help it. He never should have followed Loki online. Thor could never unsee what he’d seen and he only had himself to blame. The only thing he could do was pretend the thoughts weren’t there and act naturally around his brother because Loki could pick up every little shift in his facial expressions and never hesitated to ask about it. Loki knew him too well these days. Thor still couldn’t tell him why, so he’d learned to push the thoughts away to the back of his mind as quick as possible and it seemed to work so far.

The only time he’d failed was when he’d had that dream that one night. He’d woken sweaty and hard and all he could do was pump himself to completion, dream still vivid in his mind. Then he’d seen Loki exit the bathroom in only his boxers and Thor couldn’t help but to look at the smooth skin and remember how it had felt to run his hands over it in the dream. He had kissed the tiny freckles on his shoulders as he moved within him and Loki had gasped his name asking for more, _more Thor!_ And Thor had given it. He’d felt the build up, he was getting closer and closer and then right before coming, he’d woken up. What could he possibly have done then? His cock had been so hard it hurt so the simplest solution was to touch himself.

Thinking about the dream while standing right in front of his brother caused some kind of malfunction because he almost reached out to touch him, he _wanted_ to. He wanted to push into Loki’s space and press him up against the wall, press their mouths together. His body _wanted_ , period.

Which is why Thor thought he just needed to get laid. It wasn’t really Loki himself that was the issue. Thor hadn’t gotten laid since a couple of weeks before he and Jane broke up and that was months ago. He’d called Fandral up and asked him if there were any parties planned and Fandral had been over the moon, excited to hang out again since it had been quite a while since the last time.

And now here he was, at a party with some old friends and a bunch of new people he didn’t recognize. Many girls sent appreciative glances his way but he couldn’t. Something was off, or missing maybe. So Thor drank beer, but instead of soothing him, it made him feel restless. On edge.

“Earth to Thor.” Fandral laughed beside him.

“Hmm?”

“Dude, it’s been such a long time since we partied together but you’re not really here. A guy may feel insulted and a wee bit hurt at that.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Are you still moping over Jane?” Fandral gently elbowed him in the side.

“Jane? Why would I mope over her?” Thor frowned and opened the fresh, cold beer Fandral pushed into his hand.

“Wow, okay. So it’s not Jane then. Hmm. Gasp and wonder, does the mighty Thor have his eyes set on someone else?” Some people would say Loki was a drama queen but he had _nothing_ on Fandral when he got going. There was a reason Fandral was in theater in college, and Thor was not.

“Shut up.” was all Thor mustered to say before swallowing down the bubbly beverage.

“Shut up? I am wounded Thor, wounded. You couldn’t even come up with a decent comeback? What’s up?”

“It’s nothing. I just- I think I just need to get laid?”

“Been long, has it?”

“Yeah you could say that. Jane.”

“Say no more, my friend! Come on!” Fandral stood up, grabbed Thor’s hands and dragged him from his very comfortable seat in the sofa. Thor grunted and swayed a bit, his head started to spin as he stood. Okay, he was drunker than he thought.

“Fandral, I should probably go home.”

“Pfft, ridiculous. If you need to get laid, it’s my job as your friend to help you get a nice girl-”

“Or guy.”

“Or guy. And I- _what_?” Fandral immediately turned towards him, grabbing him by the shoulders. “Thor?” Fandral frowned at him and Thor realized that he never told his friend. Or anyone, except for Jane.

“Uuh... I like guys too?”

“Uh huh. Well... when the hell did you realize?” Fandral was still frowning but now he added a pout.

“When I was still with Jane. It’s why we broke up. I told her and it took about a week until she felt we had ‘grown apart’ as she put it.”

“Oh man, I’m sorry. Asshole.” They went through the kitchen and out the back, entering the backyard. There were more people out here, some he recognized. He waved to Volstagg and Sif on the other side of the garden. Besides Fandral, they were his best friends. And Hogun, but he couldn't make it tonight. He should hang out with his friends more, he missed them.

“What? Why am I an asshole?”

“Because you never told me. And I feel kind of pissed off that you didn’t figure it out sooner. Asshat.”

“Huh?” Fandral didn’t make any sense at all. And wait... “What do you mean _sooner_?”

“Why couldn’t you have figured it out when I was still crazy in love with you?” Fandral sighed and patted his shoulder.

“What? When you _what_?”

“Yeah, shocking I know. How could I ever fall for my friend who is half man, half God?”

“Fandral, you’re not even gay!”

“No, I’m not gay. I’m not straight either. I’ve been with guys, several actually, and I’ve been with girls, also several.”

“You’re saying you’re bi like me?” Thor was shocked.

“I don't know. I don’t want to put a label on myself. It’s too goddamn limiting. I just love people. Especially if they love me. It’s just who I am.” Fandral shrugged like it was no biggie. They finally made it over to Volstagg and Sif, Thor still trying to take in the information.

“Hey Fanny.” Sif grinned. “What’s up? Why is Thor looking like he’s about to topple over?”

“He just found out about my sweet gay love for him.”

“Oh, is that all?” Sif snorted and drank the last of the blue liquid in her glass.

“You- you knew?” Thor’s world was spinning and not because he was drunk.

“Everybody knew, Thor.” Volstagg offered as if it was nothing. Thor looked at all three of them and feeling somewhat betrayed.

“But _when_?”

“Junior high and up until we went to different colleges.”

“But, but that’s just a couple of years ago!”

“Oh I know. I actually thought you would figure yourself out before that.”

“Wait, wait.” Sif interrupted them. “Thor finally came out?”

“Yup, not even five minutes ago.”

“Fandral!” Thor hissed but then he was interrupted by Sif again.

“Thor, it’s okay. We knew that too.”

“How could you? I didn’t even know myself until a few months ago!”

“Remember that guy Steve that transferred to our school in high school?”

“Yeah?”

“That’s when we knew you weren’t straight. You couldn’t take your eyes off the guy for the one and only semester he was there.”

Of course Thor remembered Steve Rogers, he was the most attractive guy in their school. He had been incredibly nice and they had almost all their classes together so it was just natural that they sought each other out. They were familiar and they got along great. And Steve always smelled amazing. That didn’t mean Thor was attracted to him or wanted him in any way. They were friends. Thor could still remember the way he smiled at him, when he cracked a lame joke or figured out a problem they were both struggling with in math and how happy it made him that he made Steve smile. Or that one time when they sat outside one lunch and the sun hit Steve’s eyes just the right way, making the blue in them glitter like a lake in the summer and-

“Oh God.” Of course he’d had a crush on Steve. He just didn’t know it. How was that even possible?

“Easy there, big fellow.” Volstagg patted him on the back as he tried to breathe. It was weird that his friends knew before he did, but at the same time comforting and it definitely made things a little easier now that he didn’t have to come out to them as well.

“Hey, why don’t I call over my friend from college? He’s a senior and also _in the community_ , so to speak. I think you’ll like him.” Fandral waved at someone and gestured for them to come over.

“Meet Thor, my oldest friend. And this is-” Thor turned towards the guy and he slammed his fist into his face as soon as he saw him. “Charlie.” Fandral finished. Charlie staggered backwards, dropping his beer into the grass but Thor followed and punched him again, then Charlie was on his back. This time Thor’s hand did hurt after the last one but he didn’t care.

“Whoa whoa whoa, Thor! Words! Use your words!” Fandral jumped in between them, holding Thor back as Charlie slowly got up to his feet. A young girl came running and helped him up. She was dressed in short-shorts where half her ass hanged out and a tank top, no bra underneath. This had to be the girlfriend Loki mentioned.

“What’s wrong with you, you big freak?” She screamed and people started turning their heads toward the scene.

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with _you_ , you fucking creeps?!” He yelled back and this time, Sif and Volstagg definitely took notice. Thor at this particular level of angry was not a common thing. The last time they had seen him like this was when some loser in high school had grabbed Sif’s boobs in the hallway on the way to class. That guy’s face had been bruised for weeks, both his eyes swollen shut.

“We’ve never done anything to you!” The girl yelled back as she was brushing off Charlies backside. Charlie held his face like he did last time they met.

“Me, no. But you lured _Loki_ out to the middle of nowhere, trying to coerce him into having sex with _that_ fucking asshole,” Thor pointed his finger at Charlie and kept screaming in the girl’s face. “while other people were watching. _Against his will_! And when he made it clear he wasn’t interested, he kept pushing him down to the ground and you goaded him on while calling Loki names! You’re lucky I don’t break _both_ your fucking necks!”

Finally the girl took a couple of steps back, pale in the face. She knew exactly what he was talking about.

“They did what?” Fandral shifted his eyes between them, not really believing his ears.

“No no, Fandral. The _best_ part is that your buddy Charlie here, dated Loki for six months before that and never told him he already had a girlfriend. And then at their six month anniversary, Loki promised him a blowjob but quickly changed his mind when he found out about _her_.”

Charlie started laughing suddenly. And everyone's eyes went to him. His eyes were teary but no bloody nose this time. That could still be arranged though.

“Oh yeah, I remember you now. You carried him away in your arms like he was some fucking prince or something.”

“I had to. You’d gotten him so drunk he could barely stand on his own feet.” Volstagg actually held a hand on Thor’s arm now as if to calm him, or maybe hold him back.

“Oh sure, _I_ got him drunk. He drank because he wanted to get drunk and we were only out there because he _wanted_ to suck me off.”

“Loki is underage, man.” Fandral said and put his hand on Thor’s chest but still looking at Charlie. He believed Thor, he was sure of it and it calmed Thor down a little. He wasn’t alone in this now.

“So what? He wanted it.”

“Oh yes, obviously.” Thor said. “When I came to get him he kept telling you to fuck off and that you were over. And yet, you refused to leave him alone. You even pulled him out of my arms and threw him on the ground. I had to fucking deck you for you to back off.”

“Oh please, spare me the drama!” The girl snickered. “Loki is the reason you’re fighting us? That boy wanted my man’s dick. He was a total whore! When I arrived he-” The girl was on the ground before she finished her sentence. Over her, Sif stood and almost growled. The girl started crying and crawled backwards, her nose bleeding. Charlie didn’t even move a muscle to help her. What a gentleman.

“Hey now, Sif, calm down.” Fandral pushed her back a bit.

“Thanks, Fandral. I knew you would see my side of things.” Charlie grinned at Thor. It lasted until Fandral’s fist connected with his face. Now there was definitely blood running from Charlie’s nose.

“Don’t you _ever_ think I would be on your side after this, you fucking wannabe rapist.” Fandral hissed at his friend. Or, judging by the looks of it, his former friend.

Charlie yelled before he kicked Fandral’s legs out from under him, dropping him to the ground. He probably meant to hit Fandral back with his raised fist but Thor threw himself on top of him before he could land the blow. Thor straddled him and started hitting him, one punch after another, making sure he hit as much of his ugly face as possible. Charlie fought back and Thor received punches too but he could barely feel it, he was so enraged. Then Thor was dragged off of him and someone was bending his arms back until they hurt. So instead he kicked him in the ribs a couple of times for good measure. Suddenly Thor was pushed down into the grass and someone put cuffs on his wrists. Only then did he see the police officers.

Well _shit_.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath. Some of it. One tired police officer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why don't we play "spot the other fandom" in this chapter? Blink and you missed it kind of thing ;)

Only when his parents arrived at the station, did he tell the police what happened at the party. Since Thor still lived at home, his parents were called even though Thor was twenty now. Thor was happy they were there because Odin was a lawyer and perhaps Thor would need one. Fuck. He could go to jail for this! Frigga had cried when she saw him so Thor assumed his face was worse than it felt at the moment.

His father sat next to him, telling him to tell the police everything that had happened, and he did. But not really. Not what the fight was about, only that there had been a fight and it was Charlie’s fault. He’d showed up at the party, looking for trouble and then he refused to leave. So a fight broke out.

“You’re lucky other people at the party said the same thing, or your ass would be detained right now.” The police said while pulling at the collar of his shirt, like he was extremely uncomfortable in it. He was older, most of his hair gray, but he was what one would call ruggedly handsome. His brown eyes were friendly even if his words were not. They were in a small office with only one door and no windows. Not at all what Thor had seen in movies, with the big mirror and the good cop/bad cop pair. This ‘J. O’Neill’ as his name tag said, was alone in the room with Thor and his parents. The door opened and a younger man with glasses appeared, but only halfway through the door.

“Jack, Hammond wants to see you in his office.” The man looked at them all over the rim of his glasses and nodded at them, a smile on his lips. “Hello.”

“I’m in the middle of something here.”

“He said now.” The other man pushed the glasses up his nose while waiting.

“Daniel?”

“Jack?”

“Daniel.”

“Now.” Daniel slid back out and closed the door behind him and J. O’Neill sighed and rubbed his face with both hands before blowing a raspberry with his lips.

“Well then. I guess I have to go.”

Thor wanted to smile at how silly he seemed now, but he didn’t. Was it okay to smile at the police? Thor had been nervous when he first was brought in, J. O’Neill had seemed like a real hard-ass then. Now he just looked like a tired old man. Human.

“I’m sorry, officer. Does that mean my son is free to go?” Odin said and Frigga perked right up.

“He can go. But don’t make a habit of this, Thor. I don’t want to see you in here again, I mean it. You hear me? No more fighting.”

“Yes sir.” Thor nodded and smiled and okay, that actually stung. It stung even more when he licked his lips. They were probably bruised pretty badly then.

*****

The drive home consisted of his father ragging down on him and his mother kept wiping her eyes. Odin kept on telling him how lucky he was the other guy didn’t want to make a big thing of this.

“Honestly son, what were you thinking? You should thank the other guy on your bare knees. You don’t fight, Thor. You’ve always been a good boy. What could he possibly have done to deserve that kind of beating? I just don’t understand.”

Odin kept prattling on and on about it and Thor could feel his anger start boiling again. Odin could never know. It wasn’t Thor’s story to tell. Right now he felt like he would rather die than tell Odin the truth about Charlie. Thor stared out the window, clenching his jaws and losing himself in thoughts. The left side of his face felt like it was on fire now and he knew his eye was a bit swollen but not shut so that was something at least. Honestly, he just wanted to get home and go to bed and sleep for a hundred years.

When they drove into their driveway, the house was dark and looming over them. Loki was probably sleeping, it was almost three in the morning now. In some way, Thor felt like hugging him and see for himself that he was safe, even though he wasn’t even at the party. He knew he was being ridiculous.

As they walked into the kitchen, Frigga hurried off to the bathroom to get supplies to clean Thor up. How bad could it be?

“And of course, you’re grounded.” Odin finished whatever he was saying. Thor hadn’t listened since the car.

“Okay.” Thor would gladly be grounded for punching that douche bag.

“And you won’t join us to the country club next weekend for Loki’s birthday party.”

“What? It’s his _birthday,_ I’m not missing that!”

“Well maybe you should’ve thought of that before pummeling another boy into a bloody pulp!” Odin shouted turning a dark shade of red. If Loki was asleep, he would definitely wake up now.

“Keep your voice down!” Frigga hushed Odin as she came back into the kitchen, carrying tissues, disinfectant stuff, some kind of salve and band- aids. Odin huffed and turned on his heel, walking away. Probably to his office, he loved that room. He always went there when he wanted to be left alone.

Of course, steps came running down the stairs and Thor turned his face away from the door. Maybe Loki shouldn’t see him like this.

“You’re home!” He bounded into the kitchen. Frigga hushed Loki too as she started arranging the things she would use now.

“Wait, what are those? Oh God, how bad is it?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t see this, dear.” Frigga said but Loki ignored her and came around the table. Thor couldn’t hide it anymore so he turned his face towards him. Loki paled and gasped. He was just in boxers and a too big T-shirt with his cellphone in hand. Wait, that was Thor’s old shirt he outgrew over a year ago. Huh, it looked good on him.

“Is that my shirt?” He asked, his voice rougher than he intended it to be.

“You were throwing it away so I took it.” Loki shrugged as he sat down across from Thor, studying his face a bit closer. “Not to be your bizarro- bro, but can I take a picture of your face before mom cleans you up?”

“Loki! What’s the matter with you?” Frigga chided him as she opened a bottle and poured some stinky liquid on a tissue.

“Sure.” Thor said and hissed as his lips stung when he smiled at Frigga's outrage. She shook her head at them and said they were both from a bizarro world somewhere. Loki took several pictures of his face, then let their mother get to work on it. “Oh and for the record? You’ve always been my bizarro- bro.”

“Shut up.” Loki said, without heat.

Thor hissed and then groaned in pain as Frigga started dabbing the stuff above his eye. Even though it felt like hours, it was over within fifteen minutes. Odin never came back into the kitchen so the three of them scampered off to their rooms. Thor was just in his boxers and about to crawl under the covers when there was a soft knock on his door.

“Yeah?” He sat down on his bed. God, he was exhausted and his face hurt like a motherfucker. Loki came in with a small tube in his hands and handed it over. “What’s this?” Thor asked.

“Cooling balm. I thought maybe you’d like something for your face in the morning.”

“Thanks.” Thor took it, almost a little moved Loki thought of him. “Can I put some on right now?”

“Probably not. You should let mom’s stuff work for the night. Is it bad?”

“Pretty bad, yeah. Feels like my face is on fire but with like a pulsing heat.”

“Can I touch it?”

“Are you being bizarro- bro again?”

“No. Well yeah, that too. But also you used to complain about my cold hands when we were younger, remember? Maybe it would help?”

Thor nodded his consent and Loki carefully touched his temple with just his fingertips and yes, Loki still had cold hands.

“More.” Thor said and closed his eyes when Loki put his entire palm against his cheek. Thor groaned.

“Is it okay?”

“Okay? It’s heaven.” Thor sighed and leaned his face into Loki’s hand, wanting even more of it. They both jumped as Odin knocked on the doorframe before he stepped inside. Loki withdrew his hand and Thor instantly missed the feeling of it.

“I’m just trying to understand why my son would do such a thing? The guy had to go to a hospital and be stitched together again. The hospital, Thor.”

“Jesus. Can we do this tomorrow? I’m exhausted!” Thor could cry from frustration.

“Maybe your brother could talk some sense into you. You don’t do that to a person just for disrupting a party. I know there’s something else you’re not telling me. I can see it, you’re a terrible liar.”

“If you say so. Goodnight dad!” Thor was just about done with their father, he wouldn’t mind to go on a vacation for a few weeks and not see him during that time.

“Alright. Goodnight, my sons. Thor, you better send thanks to the powers up in the clouds that that Charlie-boy didn’t sue.” Then he left them alone, closing the door behind him. _Finally_. Loki turned towards him, looking at him with big eyes.

“Charlie? It was _Charlie_? As in-”

“Yeah.”

“Why was he-”

“Fandral knew him from college so he was invited. We ran into each other in the backyard and I just lost it.”

“Did- did he say something?” Immediately his arms wrapped around himself. Thor hated when he did that.

“Like what?”

“About m-me?” Loki bit his lower lip, like he always did when he was feeling unsure of himself. He didn’t need to know what was said, it would only make him feel bad over something that wasn’t his fault.

“No.” Thor said, looking him straight in the eye, willing him to believe him.

To his surprise Loki cradled his face in both his hands. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Thor’s forehead so gently it felt like fluttering butterfly wings. Loki pulled back but only a couple of inches before they were suddenly level eye to eye, then he leaned in again and pressed his lips against Thor’s. Loki had the softest pair of lips Thor had ever felt against his own. It hurt like hell and he could feel exactly where his lips were split and bruised but he wouldn’t change it for anything.

“Mmph.” Was all Thor managed when Loki pulled back completely. The kiss was way too short.

“Thank you. But dad’s right, you know.” Loki said.

“About what?”

“You’re a terrible liar.” Loki smiled before sliding his cool fingers over Thor’s face once more. “Now go to sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Then his brother left him alone. Thor finally slid in between the sheets and stretched out on his back, feeling a few muscles here and there complain. Damn, it felt like some ribs were bruised. He sighed as he could feel his body relax into the mattress. That was better. He yawned and stretched again. It hit him then.

Loki kissed him. Actually _kissed_ him and it had been the best kiss of his life. It was fucked up, he knew that on some level, but he didn’t care about reason right now. Loki’s lips on his hadn’t felt unnatural or disgusting. It didn’t feel wrong, not once.

It was _bliss_.

“So that’s decided then.” Thor said to the room as he pulled the covers over his sore body. “I’m going to hell.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up the next morning was pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments for this fic, I feel blessed! Love to you all! ♥

Waking up the next morning was pain. Not only did his face feel like two sizes too big, his hands had swollen while he was sleeping. It was so bad that he couldn’t even see the knuckles on the right one. It hurt to bend his fingers and no wonder, they looked like little sausages. He groaned as he slid out from under the covers. It wasn't even lunchtime yet. He managed to put on his sweatpants and then made his way to the bathroom. Just as he reached for the handle, the door opened and a cloud of steam followed Loki out. He wore a towel around his waist and a smaller one around his head. 

“Hey.” Thor said and cleared his throat.

“Hey sleepyhead. Whoa! It looks even worse today.” Loki said before his eyes traveled lower down Thor's body and then back up. It sent shivers down Thor’s spine as he, for three seconds, imagined interest in his brother’s eyes. 

“If you say so. Are you done in there?” 

“Oh, yeah. It’s all yours.” Loki shrugged and walked back to his bedroom.

Thor went into the bathroom and quickly relieved himself. He went to the sink and washed his hands and then he caught a glance of himself in the mirror above the sink. He did a double take. The left side of his face was just a big bruise in different shades of purple, blue, green and some yellow. At some places the purple looked almost black. His lower lip looked like it was split in two places, his upper lip in one. No wonder it hurt so much. He had definitely underestimated Charlie and his tiny fists. Thor splashed some cold water on his face and while it soothed some, it also stung like a son of a bitch. He gently dabbed the towel over his face, trying to do it without causing more pain. It was good that school was already out for the summer or he would've had to stay home for a week or two and miss a whole lot of classes. 

He went back to his bedroom to go back to bed and was surprised to find his brother there, sitting on his bed.

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

“Your face. It looks painful and I thought maybe you needed help with putting on some of the cooling balm.” Loki said and picked on his nails. 

“Okay. Thanks.” Thor said and Loki perked up. Thor sat down beside him and handed him the tube, then turned towards him. Loki followed suit so now they were facing each other, sitting cross legged with their knees touching. Loki squeezed some clear gel onto a few fingers and then started with Thor’s forehead. His fingers were gentle and he worked quickly. The gel stung at first but soon it felt like he’d rubbed his face with a minty toothpaste. It did feel cooler and Loki’s cold hands still felt wonderful.

“Well, I would recommend you sleep on the other half of your face.” Loki said as he closed the cap of the tube.

“Thanks, I’ll try to remember that, doctor.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“I don’t suppose you have anything for these?” Thor held up his hands and Loki gasped. He took them into his own and looked at them more closely. He didn’t say anything but bit his lower lip, sucking it into his mouth. Thor was overwhelmed with the desire to kiss him then. To just lean forward, kiss him and maybe Loki would let him. Thor would press forward, Loki falling backwards and they’d sink into the bed, with Thor on top. Maybe Loki would spread his legs, welcoming his brother between them. 

“Shit.” Loki said, interrupting his train of thought. 

“What?” 

“You really beat him into a bloody pulp?”

“He was not a bloody pulp.”

“Dad said-”

“Fuck what dad said!” Thor pulled his hands back to him. Loki looked really upset, his eyes already tearing. Wait, was he still in love with that asshole? Loki got up from the bed and Thor followed close on his heels. Thor grasped his arm before he had a chance to escape out of Thor’s room. Damn that hurt his hand. 

“Are you gonna cry over that fucking cretin?” 

“No, not over _him_! I was just thinking how you could have ended up in prison over this and it would have been all my fault.”

“Your fault? This isn’t your fault okay? None of it is. Yesterday I had a few too many and then Charlie was there and then I hit him and God, everything happened so fast. Then I was at the police station.” 

“It’s just... none of this would have happened if I hadn’t called you that night.” 

“And where would you be? If I hadn’t shown up when I did, what do you think Charlie would have done to you?” Loki just shrugged, his arms starting to close around himself. Damn it. Thor pulled him into his arms and hugged him. “I would rather be arrested than have you being forced to... whatever would have happened, okay?”

Loki sighed and hugged him back. When Thor pulled back, he kissed the side of Loki’s face, then taking his face into both his hands. 

“If I hadn’t come for you and later found out you were hurt by him, or anyone else who was there.... I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself. So don’t feel guilty over this, over me or him. Especially him. This is better than the alternative. It was my choice and whatever could’ve/ would’ve happened to me, I would still stand by that choice.” 

The stood silent for a few moments until Loki’s lips tilted upwards. 

“And the Oscar for the cheesiest scene ever goes to...” Loki said. Thor laughed and dropped his hands to his sides.

“You’re such a shit.” 

“I’m sorry, please continue.” 

“You spoiled the moment.” 

“Oh come on. You were speaking from the heart, I could feel it. Do it again.” 

“Nope. The moment is ruined.” Thor pulled a T-shirt from a drawer and put it on. He could sleep later. Now he needed something to eat. He smacked Loki in the back of his head as he walked passed him in the hallway. 

***** 

The following Thursday Thor was awoken by Odin yelling downstairs. The clock told him it was just after seven a.m. and Thor huffed as he got dressed. There must be some catastrophe if his father was yelling this loud so early. Odin’s mood had been extra sour since Thor’s incident and anything could set him off. Thor walked into the kitchen and everyone seemed to be up already. Odin was yelling into the phone and he was red in the face which told Thor he was furious. 

“What’s going on?” He whispered to his mother.

“There seems to be something wrong with the booking at the country club. They can’t seem to find it in the system.”

“What? _How_?” It had been booked for months. Odin hung up and rubbed his hands over his face, exasperated. 

“What did they say?” Frigga asked carefully.

“There’s nothing they can do. It’s already been booked by other people. I don’t understand how this could happen? We’ve been booked for months! Fools.” 

“It’s okay, dad. I don’t need a big party.” Loki said as he spooned cereal into his mouth. “Let’s just have it in our backyard, it’s no problem. That’s big enough.”

“Perhaps we can book some hotel or-”

“No. It’s fine. You can make it up to me with an extra gift.” Loki smiled. It seemed to calm their father down.

“Loki, are you sure about this? It is your eighteenth birthday after all.” 

“I’m sure.” 

“I’ll call the caterers and just change the address.” Frigga went off, closely followed by Odin. Loki seemed unaffected even when it was his own party. 

Thor grabbed a plate in silence and put some scrambled eggs onto it, grabbed a fork from one of the drawers and sat down at the counter across from his brother. Loki kept chewing his cereal like nothing was going on. Loki had been excited about his party since he found out about it several months ago. Or at least Thor had thought so. Then of course, they had only been close since Thor went to get him that night. But Thor was _sure_ Loki had mentioned something about it last week and seemed excited about the whole thing.

“They’re gonna be pissed if they ever find out.” Thor said. Loki met his gaze. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Yes you do.” They ate in silence for a few moments while staring each other down. Loki’s shoulders slumped and he sighed. 

“Fine. I just didn’t want to celebrate it without my brother, okay? Especially when I know exactly who and why you pummeled him into a bloody-”

“He was not a bloody pulp!” Thor interrupted. He really wasn’t. Okay, sure, he had to go to the hospital but he was not beaten to a bloody pulp! Loki chuckled.

“Still.” Loki said and gave him a lopsided smile. 

“When did you find out?” 

“Tuesday. It wouldn’t feel right without you. Not after everything.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” Thor had to smile back, the warmth spreading through his body him made him feel silly and a bit lightheaded. “How did you do it anyway?”

“You know, for such a wealthy club, they don’t invest much into their security, booking system or their website. Hacking it was like taking candy from a baby.” 

“Loki! Don’t get yourself in trouble, okay?” 

“Thor. I can hack into pretty much any system and not leave a trace behind. I know what I’m doing, don’t worry. Also it was the country club, not the white house.” 

“Alright. Hey, you wouldn’t happen to have more of that cooling balm thing, would you?”

“You used it all already?” 

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I have another tube in my room.”

They finished eating and put their dishes in the dishwasher, then made their way to Loki’s room. The bed was unmade but other than that, his room was spotless. Loki opened a drawer in his bedside table and pulled a tube out. Before closing it, he also picked up a tiny pink ball and brought both to Thor.

“What’s this?” He held up the pink ball. 

“Well, I mostly use it as a lip balm. Maybe it could help heal your lips quicker, or at least help with the pain a bit?”

“Thanks, you’re a good brother.” 

“Don’t I know it. Now get out of my room.” 

When he entered the hallway, Thor thought of something and turned around to face his brother again. 

“What do _you_ use the cooling balm for?” 

“Stuff. Mostly after I shave.” 

“You can’t even grow a beard.” Thor stated. Loki had complained about it enough times for Thor to remember it. Loki had, so far, been unable to grow his facial hair into anything really. Least of all a beard.

Loki smirked and wiggled his eyebrows just once before closing the door in Thor’s face.

Oh. _O_ _h._

Thor almost tripped over his own feet on his way back to his bedroom.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is grounded, restless and Loki is out with friends. What is a boy to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer than the previous ones.
> 
> Thank you all for the ♥!

It was Friday night. Since Thor was grounded, he didn’t have much to do. His parents occupied the TV room and Loki was over at a friend’s house. Not only was Thor grounded, he was also forbidden to have any friends over to visit him. It was annoying as hell. He and Fandral had talked on the phone for hours earlier during the day and talked about what happened at the party. Fandral felt guilty for everything and Thor was getting tired of it. Why did everyone else feel guilty about this? It was Charlie and it was Thor who were responsible for the fight.

Anyway, Thor felt like a trapped animal in the house. Neither him or Loki were allowed TV’s in their bedrooms. Odin was very strict about that, he claimed it would distract from their homework and they were gonna go to good colleges. He had been a bit disappointed when Thor went to the closest one so he could still live at home, instead of going across the country or across the Atlantic to Europe. Thor could have moved far away, he was in the top three of his class with excellent grades, and colleges actually wooed him.

Thor had wondered more than once if he’d made the right choice. He loved his family and wanted to stay close to them but at the moment, he thought of what it would have been like to live on his own and basically just hanging out with people his own age and making his own decisions. Right now, it sounded like heaven. One more year of college, then he was supposed to find work somewhere and when he did, he would definitely move away from home. He had saved money over the years of working through the summers but spending very little of it. He still lived at home and most of his expenses were covered by his parents. He knew how lucky he was.

_Restless_ .

He was restless like he had been during Fandral's party but he didn’t have an outlet available. Thor ran ten laps around the block after talking to Fandral, just to take some of the edge off, but it only helped for a little while. He just needed something to distract him from the confines of his own room. Really, the only option was his laptop.

He quickly went downstairs, got a bag of Cheetos, a bottle of coke and went back to his room. He heard his mother giggling at something on the TV and Odin said something Thor couldn’t hear but it made his mother laugh heartily. Odin being funny is something Thor has yet to see after knowing him for twenty years.

He locked his room when he entered it, then settled down on his bed and tearing the Cheetos bag open. He took a few into his mouth and enjoyed the crunch between his teeth. Luckily it seemed like his lips were healed enough to not split open again when smiling or chewing a big bite of food. Maybe the lip balm Loki gave him helped it along?

The plan was to ‘ _Netflix and chill_ ’ as the saying goes but his plans were cut short when he discovered the site was down for maintenance. Can’t they warn people before they just shut down? Assholes. Munching on a few more Cheetos, he tried to think of something else to do. The thoughts emerging from the dark places in his brain had suggestions but he shot them down.  _No, he won’t do it_ .

His phone lit up when he received a message and he quickly grabbed it and saw it was a message from his brother. Funny coincidence, wasn’t it? Loki sent a photo of him with two of his friends Thor had never met. One girl with dark hair and very red lips. If Thor would compare her to anything it would be one of those voluptuous pinup girls from the fifties. Beautiful. The other one was a guy with big blue eyes and charming smile. His hair went just below his ears. Also beautiful.

From what he could tell from the background he’d guess they were in some kind of Burger joint. Before he put the phone down, another picture was received. Loki’s friends were both giving him one kiss each on the cheeks while Loki feigned surprise, his mouth formed like a little o.

‘ _Darcy and James says hello! They’ll be at the party tomorrow.’_ Loki wrote.

‘ _Cute. Tell them I say hi. I look forward to meeting them.’_

‘ _Darcy says you look badass in your pics.’_

‘ _What pics?’_

‘ _The bloody ones.’_

‘ _Don’t show those to people!’_

“ _They’re the only ones I have of you on my phone!”_

Thor looked through his phone for pictures of his own face where it looked normal. Jesus, why did he always have to make funny faces in photos of himself? He found one he took months ago that was somewhat okay. He sent it and it didn’t take long before he got a reply.

‘ _Darcy says you’re hot as fuck. She’s asking if you’re single and if you like girls. James is asking if you’re single and if you like guys, lol.‘_

‘ _Yep, Single. And I like both_.’

Thor laughed as he put his phone down but suddenly Loki was calling him instead of texting.

“Hello?”

“You like _both_?! You never told me that!” Loki yelled. Thor could hear laughing in the background. 

“Right. Sorry about that. Yeah I’m, uh... I like both.”

“So you’re what? Bi?”

“Yes.”

“When the hell did _that_ happen?”

“A while ago.”

“A while? How long is a while?”

“I realized when I was still with Jane.”

“Huh. So how did _she_ take the news?”

“Well, it took about a week until we broke up so, not too well I guess?”

“Oh. I’m sorry, Thor. You should have told me.”

“Says the guy who dated another guy for _six months_ without telling me.”

“Right. Okay, I’ll give you that one. Does mom and dad know?”

“Have _you_ told them?”

“Okay, I’ll give you that one too.”

“Uh huh. Don’t come home too late tonight, your party is tomorrow.”

“I won’t. We’re leaving in about thirty minutes, I think.”

“Okay, maybe I’ll see you then?”

“Okay. Bye!” Loki hung up before Thor had the chance to say something more.

He sat back and looked at the pictures again. Loki was smiling and it was his genuine smile, Thor could tell. Darcy and James seemed happy too. In the first picture, the non-kissing one, James was looking at Loki with the softest smile on his lips while Loki and Darcy looked into the camera. Maybe they were more than friends? It had been a while since the big break-up from Charlie so maybe something was going on there? Something twisted in Thor’s gut. He didn’t like it, not one bit. Thor would find that guy during the party tomorrow and find out just what kind of person he was. There was that tickle in the back of his mind again. ‘ _Maybe he’s in Loki’s videos._ ’ No. Just no.

But what if he  _is_ ?

*****

The website was still right where he left it. His Premium Membership had already expired, damn it. Stupid Loki and his Premium content. Thor did the same procedure as last time and it didn’t take long until he was eyeing the thumbnails for the videos. He seemed to be alone in all of them, with the occasional toy. Okay, good. That’s... good.

Oh dear God, the last video was uploaded just a few days ago. Thor hadn’t left the house in a week except for running his laps. Did it mean that maybe Loki had done the video in his room while Thor was just next door? Thor cursed his body when his cock already took interest. He could slap it but it would probably like it, the kinky bastard.

Thor scrolled down to Loki’s earlier videos and it was Loki with pubes and then without. He plugged in his headphones and clicked the first one without. It started with the lower half of his face and those shiny shiny lips.

“Hi everyone.” God, the voice Loki used in these videos was like velvet. Would he use it if he got intimate with someone in the real world? Don’t go there, Thor. He’s your _brother_ for fucks sake. 

“Got a new haircut.” Loki chuckled and Thor rolled his eyes at the joke. Loki may be a star on this site but his humor was still as lame as usual.

”Well, it’s more of a shave really.” The camera wandered down his body to his groin and then settled there. It looked incredibly smooth. One of Loki’s hands came onto the screen and gently fondled the balls, then turned them side to side and then upwards, revealing his butthole. Not a single hair anywhere.

“Do you like it?” Loki’s fingers slowly stroked his soft cock once, then the now naked skin surrounding it. Thor swallowed loudly, he could hear it himself. Okay, so shaved genitals was definitely a thing Thor liked. 

“Mmh, it’s so smooth. I like it. It almost feels like it tickles when I touch myself now.” Loki kept stroking his fingertips over the area, varying it with a few tugs on his cock, making it hard.

“Oh, I have to try that. Thanks for the tip.” Loki commented, taking a suggestion from the comment section. One hand disappeared and came back with slick, slowly dripping it over the cock and balls, then slowly rubbing it into the shaved skin making the whole groin area shine. Loki moaned and stroked his cock with intent, while massaging his balls.

Thor watched as his brother pleasured himself, rubbing himself all shiny, watched all the way to the end where Loki came on his own stomach. Thor wanted to touch himself but refused. His cock was begging for his attention but he ignored it, as best as he could. To avoid having the laptop directly on top of his groin, Thor slid down the bed so he had the laptop on his stomach instead. While it resolved his groin situation, the screen came closer to his face. Well that’s just not gonna work. He was about to rearrange himself again but his eyes caught a glimpse of another clip, where he was holding something red in his fist. He clicked play.

“Hello everyone.” Thor would never get used to that tone of Loki’s voice, it made Thor shiver, and his cock moved in his pants. He started to see why Loki was a Premium Profile. While Thor knew Loki was new at this stuff, a beginner, he was pretty much already a pro. His videos didn’t have that same sense of tacky porn as most of the others. There was a sense of honesty and innocence over them while they were still hot and teasing. Oh my God, Thor realized he called Loki’s videos _hot_ inside his head. Damn. But honestly, they really _were_ hot. Thor felt no regret over paying for a Premium Membership, and that was something. Other people probably felt the same way Thor did. Obviously, or Loki wouldn’t have 10.000 people watching his stuff.

“So, I’m gonna do something different today. You all know I’m not too experienced with this stuff so this time I was thinking maybe I ought to practice my cock sucking skills. Would you like that?” Loki raised the red thing into view and it was a dildo but a hard one. How Loki would do this with only half his face showing would be interesting.

“Thanks to all you Premium People, I could afford to buy this. The girl in the store said it was great for training not only your skills in fellatio but also for deepthroating. I hear that’s a desirable skill to have.” Loki chuckled and licked his lips.

Thor groaned and closed his eyes. Premium indeed. Jesus fuck. His resolve to not touch himself this time already started to crumble as his cock jerked in his pants. Loki knew more about pleasure than Thor did and Thor had had a girlfriend he used to fuck. Thor had never put focus on his own body as much as Loki did in these videos and pictures. As long his cock got hard and he got to come, and managed to make Jane come, he counted that as a great moment of pleasure.

Watching Loki do all these things made Thor wonder how much he’d been missing out on. Thor could picture the scene where he asked Loki for advice on how to pleasure himself. Loki would never stop laughing. Thor was the older one goddamn it, he should know more than Loki. Loki had said he’d never been with another person but Thor could bet his left arm Loki was better in bed than he was. If his stuff on this site was anything to go by, Loki was talented.

“Okay, let’s get to it. Please continue leaving suggestions in the comments what I can do to improve.” Thor watched as his little brother put his tongue on the toy and licked along the whole underside, from bottom to top. The dildo didn’t have any balls but it had veins and the ridges a real one had. It was quite long. Loki would never succeed in deepthroating that thing. Would he? _Could_ he?

Loki put the head into his mouth and closed his lips around it. He hollowed his cheeks as he sucked on it and Thor could imagine what it would feel like on his own cock. His own cock throbbed, begging to be released from its tight confinement. Thor was close to doing just that. Loki slowly slid the dildo further into his mouth before pulling it out completely.

“How am I doing?” He asked, then went back to sucking on the toy, pushing it further in and further in... Until he choked and started coughing. Thor chuckled as Loki cursed and sputtered. Loki brought a bottle of water onto the screen and took a few gulps.

“Okay, that was not a success. Let’s see what you’ve written. Okay, I’m getting advice to both lean backwards and let it slide into my throat naturally and one said I should be on a bed and hang my head over the edge. Let’s try the first one.” Loki moved so everyone watching could see his long neck as he bent his head backwards. He put the dildo in his mouth again and let it slide down, until he choked again. Instead of stopping this time, he continued trying and while he didn’t get it into his throat, it was really something to see. Loki had his eyes closed and moaned around the toy as he fucked his own mouth. Thor wondered if he had mastered deepthroating yet, since the video had been made last fall.

Thor almost jumped out of his own skin as there was a loud pounding on his door. He closed the laptop in one loud snick and managed to sit up just in time for Loki to break into his room.

“What the hell are you doing?” Thor yelled as he tore off his headphones. Jesus, what if Loki had seen himself on Thor’s screen?

“Well I knocked and you didn’t answer, I thought you.... What are you doing?” Loki stopped in the middle of the room, 

“Nothing.” Thor said loudly and he could feel his whole body flush hot with embarrassment.

“You- oh my God, were you looking at _porn_?” Loki started laughing. The sound was so very different than the soft chuckling he did in his videos.

“No!”

“Thor, you’re still sporting a boner so yeah, I think you were!”

“Get out of here!” Thor pulled the bed’s covers over his lap while Loki continued laughing.

“I’m going, I’m going!” Loki laughed and went to the door but there, he turned towards Thor. “If you’re really desperate for a fuck I can hook you up with someone.”

“No! Get out!” Thor managed to throw his pillow at his brother and hit him in the face.

“Now that’s just rude.” Loki giggled as he picked up the pillow and threw it back to him. “You know, James has a friend that I’m sure you’d wanna fuck if you got the chance.” Loki yelped and slid out the door as Thor threw the pillow again.

‘I wanna fuck _you_.’ Thor’s thoughts supplied before he growled and went to get his pillow by the door. He beat the pillow into submission before he put his head on it. Stupid Loki and his stupid fucking videos.

Stupid Thor for looking at them and being affected this way.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Loki's birthday. This chapter and the next will focus only on that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words can not express my gratitude towards all you guys for your kudos and comments! Thank you SO much!

Loki’s birthday was here.

Thor got out of bed quickly when his alarm went off at 08.00. It had all been planned this way without Loki’s knowledge. Their parent’s had already left to go get their present for Loki. Thor was responsible for getting Loki breakfast in bed, then get him out of said bed and see to that he got dressed in proper clothes for his party. Odin and Frigga were very clear that Loki was to wear a suit because they were expecting prominent people from Odin’s firm and whatnot. Thor would also have to wear a suit and he hated those. Loki and Thor were both expected to be ready at noon, that’s when the first guests were to arrive.

Who the hell invited co-workers to their child’s birthday anyway? He’d done it for Thor’s eighteenth birthday too. People Thor had never met came to the party and he’d had to stand there and smile and greet them like they were old friends. Thor had hated that, it was his worst birthday ever. When it’s your birthday, you want to do what  _you_ want to do, like hang out with  _your_ friends and doing things  _you_ like, not stand there like a jackass and smile at your father’s colleagues, associates, clients or whatever. Odin sucked at birthdays.

Thor went downstairs to the kitchen and made Loki’s traditional birthday breakfast. One grilled cheese sandwich, one glass of chocolate milk, one sliced granny smith apple with a pinch or two of cinnamon sprinkled on top. Loki had eaten it since he was a little child and he never wanted anything else. Their parents tried to “spoil” Loki with ice cream for breakfast on his seventh birthday but he started crying and didn’t stop until he got the usual. Thor smiled as he remembered.

He put everything on a tray and went back upstairs as careful as he could, he didn’t want to drop anything or spill anything. He wanted it to be perfect. He put the tray on the floor next to Loki’s door, then knocked.

“Loki? Are you awake? Time to get up.” Thor listened closely but no reply was heard. He tried the handle and it was open so he peeked inside. The blinds were shut and then the thick black curtains were closed over them so Loki’s room was very dark. Loki’s head was still on the pillow so Thor picked up the tray and walked inside, putting it on his bedside table.

“Lokiiii, wake up birthday boy.” Thor almost sung the words and Loki only hummed in reply, but not opening his eyes. His breathing evened out again. Thor sat down on the bed next to his brother and put a hand on his shoulder and that’s when he realized Loki was completely naked. Loki was on his side, facing Thor but his covers were crumpled in front of him and hid his cock from Thor’s view, but other than that... naked. Thor cleared his throat and squeezed Loki’s shoulder.

“Wake up, brother. Please don’t make me sing.” At that Loki gave a soft chuckle and turned to his back and _stretched_. Thor saw everything. And yes, Loki was still shaved. Thor’s throat felt very dry all of a sudden. Loki yawned and smacked his lips loudly.

“Where’s mom and dad?”

“They went to get your present. Now eat your breakfast.”

“It smells great.” Loki sat up against his headboard, still gloriously naked. As usual, he took a sip of the chocolate milk first. “Mmh, perfect.” He hummed and licked his lips and that sound could have been taken right out of his videos. Thor tried to focus his eyes on something, anything, else than Loki’s naked bits.

“You mind covering up?” Thor said and Loki huffed as he pulled the covers over himself.

“You could have told me I was naked.”

“I thought you knew.”

“Hey, what did you do to this?” Loki took a bite of the sandwich and sniffed it and Thor thought he would get yelled at. One does not simply mess with Loki’s birthday breakfast.

“Oh, sorry. I just added a pinch of oregano.”

“Hmm... I like it.” Loki ate the sandwich and drank all the chocolate milk and then nibbled on the apple slices, one by one. The apple was juicy and Loki had to suck on some of his fingers to clean them. Loki was a goddamn tease and he didn’t even know it.

‘ _Do not start off your brothers birthday with perving on him, you freak.’_ Thor’s brain sounded accusing, and rightly so.

“Oh, wait!” Thor sprung up and went back to his own room, fished the birthday present from beneath his bed and went back to Loki, turning on the ceiling lamp as he entered the room again. His brother perked up and smiled wide.

“Ooh, I get a present now? You sure you don’t wanna wait until later with the other presents?” Loki shook the gift and listened if there was any sound. 

“It’s probably best if you open it now when it’s just us. I don’t want mom and dad to kill me.”

“Really? That sounds... naughty.” Loki smiled and started pulling the strings. It was black paper with party hats, balloons, serpentines and other birthday things in various metallic colors. Also Thor pretended he didn’t hear Loki say the word naughty.

“Just open it.” Thor said instead. He hoped Loki would be happy over the gift. It had cost Thor a couple of hundred to have them made, and he wasn’t even sure Loki remembered mentioning wanting something similar on his last birthday. 

Loki ripped the paper apart and sent him a questioning look when he held a wooden box. He opened the lid and peered down in the box. Loki didn’t say anything at first, which made Thor nervous. Maybe Loki didn’t like them.

“Thor, I-” Loki started but went quiet again when he touched the titanium steel. He slid his slim fingers over the curves of his own name engraved on both handles. The blades were thinner and longer and the tips were rounded slightly upwards. They had an engraved pattern, almost like a tribal tattoo.

“Do you like them? I can have them redone if-”

“You remembered.” Loki smiled at him, shining like a sun.

“I did. So, you like them?” Thor asked, just to be sure.

“Like them? I _love_ them!” Loki put his arms around Thor’s neck and hugged him tight. “Thank you so much!”

Thor hugged him back, what else could he do? Loki’s back was hot against his fingertips and his skin just as soft and smooth as Thor thought it would be. Loki was warm and smelled of clean sheets. Lord help him, he wanted to hug his brother for eternity.

“Don’t go stab anyone with those.” Thor joked and Loki laughed as he pulled away. 

“I honestly didn’t think anyone would remember. I feel like no matter what else I get today, they won’t compare to these. They’re _gorgeous_ , Thor.”

Thor really wanted to reply ‘so are you’ but he managed to stop himself. He felt silly now that Loki put so much focus on him.

“Come on now. You need to get up and shower, then pour yourself into a suit before people start arriving.” Thor got up from the bed and grinned as his brother groaned while slipping under the covers.

“Okay, stay in bed. I’ll take the first shower and use all the hot water.” Loki ran past him before he made it out the door. Thor pretended he didn’t see the pale butt cheeks bounce with Loki’s movements.

*****

Around noon, their parents came back, with a big truck in tow. The truck backed into the backyard and unloaded it’s cargo. It was a completely new tree-house with a huge red bow on it. It was beautiful, much better than the one they had, and bigger. Odin sure didn’t spare any money on it. It was more like a tiny house, not something to play around in. It even had two levels. The ground level held a living room slash kitchenette and the upper level was just an empty space, a loft you reached by climbing a ladder. It wasn’t furnished yet so Loki also got a handsome sum in form of a gift certificate for some furniture place Thor never heard of. Loki acted very happy about it and their parents bought it but Thor could see he wasn’t actually happy with it. His smile didn’t really reach his eyes but Odin and Frigga were too busy to notice. But Loki hugged them, kissed them and thanked them profusely anyway, like a good son.

By two o’clock the backyard was packed with people who came to celebrate the youngest Odinson. Neighbors, Odin’s people from his firm, cousins they barely knew they had, uncle Ve and his family, and some of Loki’s friends. Luckily for Thor, Sif’s dad worked with Odin so she was there too. A nice little loophole in Thor’s punishment. Food and drinks were handled by the caterers and servants. It was all bright blue skies and sunshine, birds chirping in the apple trees and bushes. It was truly a perfect day.

Until  _he_ came.

Odin’s old partner. Thor hated him, he was always so whimsical and it was difficult to keep up with the conversations when talking to him. He was the one Odin looked up to and admired in the courtroom, his sheer bloodlust. He was brilliant at his job, but to Thor so horribly ridiculous and Thor wanted to avoid him as much as possible. His favorite was Loki anyways so it wasn’t that hard.

“Loki, my boy! Happy Birthday!” He had yelled as soon as he stepped into the yard and Loki had run up to him and threw himself into his arms. Ridiculous and so inappropriate. He was _at least_ twenty years older than them.

“Uncle En!” Loki kept hugging him. He wasn’t their uncle, it was just something he’d called himself when they were little. Thor always found him creepy but Loki always liked him. When Loki was ten he’d had a big crush on him and ‘Uncle En’ took it as the greatest compliment and hugged Loki, telling him how smart he was, how talented. Thor always kept an eye on him whenever he visited and En knew it, which also seemed to amuse him to no end.

En Dwi Gast and Odin had started the firm together and ran it together for almost fifteen years until one day they couldn’t stand each other and Odin bought him out of the firm. Loki had been inconsolable for weeks. Maybe Thor should have known a long time ago that his brother was not  a hundred percent straight.

Things had gotten better between En Dwi and their father since they went their separate ways, and they called one another friend, but they still hadn’t seen him for almost a year now. He seemed to travel a lot, not only around the country but the rest o the world. Loki always said his life was a charmed life and he was envious of it. Finally, Loki stopped hugging him. Ugh. They both made their way to Thor.

“Hi Thor, how are you buddy?” En said and slapped him on the shoulder.

“I’m good, how are you?”

“Living the life, living the life.” he grinned and studied Thor’s face for a few moments. While Thor’s face was much much better, it was still bruised as hell. Thor felt self-conscious under the scrutiny.

“What do you do these days? For work, I mean.” It was the best Thor could do, since he didn’t really have any interest of the man before him.

“Oh you know, this and that. All fun and games, up and down. Oh hey, sorry to hear Jane dumped you.”

“She didn’t dump me, I dumped her. It was a mutual dumping.” Loki patted his shoulder and Thor frowned down at his hand.

“Uh huh.” En said and turned his attention back to Loki. “Loki, why don’t we go inside and I’ll give you your present. You know, out of the hearing range of you-know-who.”

“Great!”

Then they left and Thor looked after them as they went. Something just didn’t seem right. Like his brother and  uncle En had secrets together, and Thor didn’t like it, not one bit.  He was about to follow them when Sif appeared at his side.

“What’s up with that creepy dude and your brother?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t like it.”

“Don’t go pummeling him into a blood-”

“Charlie was not a bloody pulp!” Thor threw his arms out, probably overreacting, but his mind was occupied with other stuff at the moment. Sif frowned and smiled at the same time.

“Yeah, Thor. He really was.”

“What? He gave as good as he got.” Thor gestured to his face as proof.

“Are you kidding me? Thor, you walked away. Or got dragged by the police, whatever, but you stood on your own legs. Charlie had to be carried out of there.”

“He was not! Fandral said-”

“Fandral wants to protect you. So you won’t feel bad about it. I know that Charlie is a creep and he deserved what he got, but I actually worried there for a second. His face was a mess and covered in blood. You broke more than his nose.” Sif sipped from her glass and her breath smelled like pear cider. Thor knew the only pear cider available contained alcohol but the caterers certainly hadn’t served any of that out here.

“Where did you get that drink?”

“From the kitchen.”

“You know the kitchen is off limits for the moment.”

“So? Your dad is not the boss of me.” She smiled and Thor smiled back. The way Sif’s studies went, Odin may very well become her boss in about a year or two. 

“Did you see any beer in there?”

“So many.” Sif laughed as they turned towards the house and followed Loki and En.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was nice and cool inside the house, a nice relief from the heat outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still Loki's birthday! And I think it may be in the next chapter too.

It was nice and cool inside the house, a nice relief from the heat outside, Thor could feel sweat starting to form in his hairline. He would’ve been okay if he was in a T-shirt and shorts but in a whole suit? It was hell. A cold beer would be perfect. Thor and Sif sneaked into the kitchen and stole away some alcohol, then made it upstairs. They walked passed Loki’s room and the door was open. As Thor looked inside, Loki and En Dwi Gast was hugging each other, right there in the middle of Loki’s room. Loki had his face buried in En’s shirt and En was leaning his head on top of Loki’s, while patting his back. What were they _doing_?

“What the hell are you doing?” Thor couldn’t stop himself. This was far beyond okay and Thor would put an end to it, whatever was happening. Loki and En startled and separated but they still stood real close to each other. Thor felt it in his gut, the feeling that they were sharing something Thor didn’t know.

“Thor, you’ll never guess what En gave me!” Loki smiled with watery eyes.

“Whatever it is, it’s not worth you clinging to him like that.”

“ _What_?” Loki finally stepped away from En and his face went from shiny and happy to murderous. Maybe Thor made a mistake.

“It’s not proper.” Thor continued, but felt like maybe he was a little bit out of line here.

“Thor...” Sif put a hand on his back, to support him or to shut him up, he didn’t know.

“Oh yes, a hug between friends is outrageous.” Loki said and took a step towards him. “You have no idea what he gave me and yet you pass judgment not only on him but on me as well.”

“It’s not like that, I-”

“Don’t interrupt me you absolute asshole. You know how much I would love to travel the world, like he does.” Loki gestured to En Dwi, who smiled at the attention. “And you know how this place is, how it’s all about what Odin and Frigga wants, screw our own will. They never let us explore anything on our own. I mean, they couldn’t even let us renovate the goddamn tree house! No, they had to take over and control everything, even fitting it into their own taste, not the way _we_ wanted it to be, Thor. We, you and I, were supposed to do it together, to bond over it and fix everything to our taste so it fit _us_. And then the fucking gift card to a store I’ve never even heard of, what the hell is that?! Have _you_ ever been to that store, Thor?”

“No.” Okay so Loki did have points in what he was saying, Thor knew that much. But why did he have to hug that damn En Dwi Gast so damn close?

“So yeah, En gave me this wonderful, amazing gift and now you have to go and try turning it into something dirty when it’s really _not._ ” Loki went to his bed and picked up a folder, opened it, then walked back and handed it to Thor.

Thor looked through the papers and his mouth opened on it’s own accord. Thor’s gift was a meager speck of dust in the universe now, damn that man! If Thor had been given this gift he’d be very grateful too, and yes he’d probably even hug En for it. He didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry.” Was all he could come up with.

“Yeah.” Loki took the folder back and closed it. “Do you even realize what this means? For both of us?”

“What do you mean, both of us?”

“Well yeah. You’re gonna share it with me, aren’t you?”

Thor looked over Loki’s shoulder to En, who just winked at him and nodded, then back to Loki. Loki looked hopeful and Thor couldn’t believe his ears. Even though Thor acted like an ass just moments ago, he still wanted to share his present with Thor.

“Are you sure you want to? Share it, I mean.”

“Of course, you’re my brother. So... what do you say?”

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Thor almost kicked himself, he only meant to say ‘yes’ and ‘thank you’ or ‘I’d love to’. Loki blushed at the compliment and dodged his head for a moment before smiling again. He hugged Thor quickly, then he turned towards En Dwi Gast again and hugged him again.

“I can’t believe you’re giving me an _apartment_! In _Rome_!”

*****

The party went on, uncle En left after about an hour after the incident in Loki’s room. When the last guests of Odin’s finally left, that’s when some of Loki’s other friends appeared. Among them, Darcy and James. Both of them made their way over to Thor and Sif as soon as they had said hello to Loki and given him gifts. From James he got a wooden box that he’d made himself, containing a bottle of wine or something, Thor couldn’t see since Loki closed the lid too fast and laughed. What’s so funny about a bottle of wine? Darcy gave him a colorful bag that Loki opened and then closed as quickly as possible while blushing profusely. Loki excused himself and ran off to his room to leave the gifts there.

Sif was momentarily distracted by someone else she knew, so Thor was basically alone with Darcy and James, who introduced himself as “Bucky”. Both their eyes kept wandering over Thor’s bruised face.

“It was good what you did.” Darcy said. “Charlie was a creep, I could smell it from a mile away.” She took liberties as if they were already friends and touched his face. It was still tender but it didn’t hurt as much anymore, despite the bruises.

“Why didn’t you tell Loki that?”

“Oh I tried, believe me. I don’t think he was really in love with him, you know? But he wanted to do _stuff_ , you know _explore_ things. But something must have happened that day.”

“What do you mean?” Nothing had happened that day except for Thor discovering his brother had a Premium Profile on a porn-site and made money from it.

“Look Thor, I don’t know how much Loki told you but he was _ready_ , okay? He’d planned for Charlie to, uh, deflower him so to speak. I asked him several times if he really wanted to do it with that slime ball but Loki shrugged it off like it was nothing. And then that night he changed his mind out of the blue, and you hit that bastard square in the face. Boy I wish I had been there to witness it. Or the last time. He got you good too, didn’t he?”

“Yeah he got in a few licks.”

“A few licks? Dude, if it was Halloween you wouldn’t even have to put any make up on.”

“Thanks, I feel better.” Thor deadpanned.

“Oh please. You’re still drop dead gorgeous and you know it.” Darcy winked and she turned on her heels and went to talk to someone else. James, no it was Bucky, still stood beside him and nodded awkwardly.

“I have a confession.” He said.

“Okay...”

“I know it sounded like I was interested in you yesterday but I’m kind of unavailable.”

“Oh, that’s fine. I think I’ll live.” Thor said and Bucky laughed before he told Thor that he had a friend that he was crushing on, but said friend didn’t know it yet and Bucky chickened out every time he tried to tell him. Then he went on a tirade over how pretty, kind and funny his friend was. He was just a few years older and in college but they always hung out when they could. Thor only nodded and made an affirmative sound here and there as Bucky spoke, getting more bored with every minute that passed. Thank God, Loki came back before Bucky started citing poetry about him. They talked for a while and Darcy joined them, then Sif and they all got along very well. Thor was happy Loki had them as friends, they seemed to have a similar bond to what Thor had with Sif and Fandral. While Hogun and Volstagg also were dear friends to him, Sif and Fandral were just closer. He could tell them anything.

“Wait.” Thor said and held up a finger and the rest of the group went silent. Thor sniffed the air and it was there, over the different perfumes and grass and warmth. That particular scent nobody else ever seemed to smell except Thor.

“Rain.” He said. The sky was still pink from the setting sun but Thor could smell that _thing_ in the air. Rain was coming. He could never explain it to others, they would just look at him funny. But he was always right though, always.

“Oh no.” Loki and Sif said simultaneously and Loki took off, running towards their parents to warn them.

“What? You can’t be serious.” Bucky said and he and Darcy looked at each other in disbelief.

“He’s never wrong.” Sif said and turned back to Thor. “How long?” Thor smelled the air again and it was stronger now, which meant it was approaching fast.

“Very soon.” He said and then Sif ran off towards the house, yelling something about her suede shoes. Thor followed, along with Darcy and Bucky, who were still looking at him as if he was crazy. Maybe he was, but like Sif said, he’d never been wrong. When they were halfway back to the house, the skies opened and it started to pour like they were in a shower and Darcy shrieked as her white shirt became very revealing. Bucky and Thor laughed when she ran the last distance to the house, Bucky ran after her.

Thor walked calmly. He liked the rain, it was soothing. He turned his face towards the sky and smiled as the drops hit his face, his hair was already soaked. No longer did he feel suffocated in his suit and Thor enjoyed it. He hated this suit so hopefully it was one of those really expensive ones that got ruined in water. Odin had picked it out for him for one of his office parties last year. It was a little tight around Thor’s arms and shoulders now.

Odin and Frigga had told the caterers to start piling everything into the kitchen but they didn’t have much warning. The bottles of different alcoholic beverages clinked as the servants ran here and there like headless chickens, trying to put them back into the correct boxes.

“Oh look at your suit!” Frigga cried out as he walked up the stairs to their back porch. Thor felt satisfied so he smiled.

“My God, your brother is a goddamn freak!” Darcy voice came from the hallway next to the kitchen so Thor made his way there. Darcy was squeezing her hair with a towel and oh dear, her mascara was running, making her look like Alice Cooper. James was also drenched but he kept a good mood. They all paused to look at Thor for a few seconds when they noticed him.

“What?” He shrugged and then they all started to laugh. The four of them were chased up the stairs by Odin so they wouldn't be in the way of the caterers and other guests as they tried to escape the sudden weather.

“Okay, rain-telling-boy. How long is the rain gonna fall?” Bucky asked and Thor led them all into his own bedroom and opened the windows to look out at the clouds. They were hanging low and were a mix of dark blue and gray, but they grew darker still.

“Probably for a few hours at least. Also there will be thunder and lightning.”

“How can you tell?” Darcy asked and Thor just shrugged and stepped aside, bringing her to the window and pointing at them. Bucky stood behind them, also interested.

“It’s easy to determine by how dark the clouds are. Those definitely hold thunder in them. Also there’s the smell.”

“What smell? I can’t smell anything.” Darcy frowned and inhaled deeply through her nose.

“Nobody seems to be able to smell it but me. I don’t know how to explain it.”

Everyone except Thor jumped when a crack of thunder hit through the air. He just smiled at them.

“Okay, that is my cue to call a cab.” Sif said and fished her phone out of her pocket. Darcy and Bucky jumped on the opportunity to share a cab since Sif apparently lived just a five minute drive from Darcy’s place. Loki’s pouting did nothing to convince them to stay.

And that’s how Loki’s party was ended. Within one hour from the first drops of rain hit them, every guest was gone and the caterers had just packed everything away and jumped into their colorful vans and left.

Thor, Loki and their parents were in the kitchen and munching on some leftover dessert when the entire kitchen went white at the same time as thunder rolled through the air. Odin’s cell phone rang and he answered it. The hair on Thor’s neck stood as Odin looked at them, his face ashen. Uncle Ve just had a heart attack and they were at the hospital. They didn’t know how bad it was and wanted Odin to come, just in case.

*****

They were worried, their parents had been gone for almost two hours but Thor and Loki still hadn’t heard anything from them and both Odin and Frigga had turned off their phones. Now they were in their rooms, trying to occupy themselves and not worry too much. Thunder still rolled through the air but it was moving away, Thor had counted the time between thunder and lightning.

As if he had no other choice, Thor logged into the porn-site. He watched some videos that was not Loki, but they didn’t do anything for him. He’d been cursed. Someone had cursed him and he was now unable to simply enjoy porn that was not his own goddamn brother.

His screen started blinking and for a minute he thought his laptop was crashing until he could read the text “Luscious Mischievous sending live now!!!” in big blinking letters.

Thor sat straight up in his bed. Oh my God, Loki was sending live right this second. Thor swallowed as he rubbed his eyes. Was he gonna do it? It was one thing to watch videos from months ago but this would basically be watching Loki getting off right in front of him. He _was_ cursed. He clicked the blinking banner.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is sending live. How will Thor react?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday! Maybe not to any of you guys, but it certainly is mine! (April 25th) And the end of Loki's birthday in this fic, so, let's have a bit sinful, naked chapter to celebrate? ;)  
> I hope you enjoy it! ♥

But _of course_ a live performance cost extra. Thor growled as he paid the site an extra twenty bucks before he settled into the pillows. His body already felt tingly, from his toes out into his fingertips. Even though Loki couldn’t see him, Thor felt exposed in some weird way. It would be different to watch it live, wouldn’t it? It would basically be the same thing as if he watched his brother jerk off right in front of him, right? That’s what it felt like.

Then he was there, Loki was there on his screen. It was his entire head, not just the lower half of his face. Well, technically. He was wearing one of those Venetian half masks over the upper half of his face but you could see his eyes. The mask was black with a dark green pattern, making Loki’s eyes stand out like emeralds. Wow, his brother’s eyes were pretty amazing, weren’t they?

“...and I didn’t plan it but you know what? It’s my birthday. I’ll do what I want.” His voice filtered through to Thor’s brain and he realized Loki had been talking this whole time. The camera zoomed out and yep, that was Loki’s room. He was just on the other side of the wall. Thor’s dick suddenly became very interested but Thor ignored it best as he could. Loki’s room was a bit on the dark side but he had some candles lit and it gave a somewhat romantic feeling to the scene.

“As you can see, I’m not entirely naked this time. Well, not _yet_ anyway. And I want to show you what one of my best friends gave me for my birthday.” Loki scooted back from the camera for a bit and Thor’s jaw dropped. Loki was wearing Thor’s old hoodie, the one that hung in his wardrobe when Thor was spying on him that one time. Loki slid his hands down the worn material and smiled before biting his lower lip. He grabbed the bottom of the hoodie and slowly pulled it upwards to reveal his lacy undergarments. Like the dildo Thor had seen in Loki’s room before, it was also hot pink. Loki was seriously wearing lace right now, hot pink lace. Under Thor’s old hoodie. In the next room.

“Isn’t it pretty? I got a few more but the pink ones was my immediate favorite.” Loki was already sporting a semi that tented that lace, in a very good way. Thor’s cock was already hard in his underwear and it was a struggle not to touch right now. How could he possibly have known how hot his bother would look wearing lace? Loki slid one of his fingers over the shape of his cock and moaned. Then he buried his face in the hoodie and inhaled deeply.

“Mmh, it still smells like him.” Loki said in that special tone of his voice and cupped his dick before giving it a gentle squeeze. And wait, what did he say? _What_? Thor quickly looked around the room too see if Loki was there, making fun of him or setting him up for a prank. The comment section was continuously updating with new comments and right now they all wanted to know who Loki was talking about.

“Oh, you guys should see him. Big, muscular, beautiful. He can carry me in his arms like I weigh nothing. You’d _love_ him.” Loki leaned his head back and moaned loudly as he slipped his hand inside his underwear, slowly stroking his cock.

“I bet he could lift me up and down his dick as he pleased and I wouldn’t be able to do anything but take it. Or he could hold me down with his big body and take what he wants.” Loki panted as he sped up his movements before letting go of his dick completely. Thor felt like he couldn’t breathe at all. It was him, Loki was talking about _him_. What did it mean? Did Loki know Thor was watching him? Did he mean what he just said? Did he want Thor to fuck him? Maybe he was just fantasizing out loud. And he thought Thor was _beautiful_? Out of everything that Loki just said, that’s what made Thor blush. It was a stupid thing to blush over but he couldn’t help it.

“No he isn’t my boyfriend. We haven’t done anything together. But I’ve seen the way he looks at me when he thinks he’s concealing it, trying to act normal around me. He would never win a game of poker, he really is a _terrible_ liar.” Loki winked at the camera and Thor gulped. Loki _knew_. He knew Thor was looking at him right this second. But how? And how long had he known?

Loki pulled the hoodie over his head and then untangled some of the hair that got stuck on the mask. He laughed as he did so but it was a hoarse, throaty laugh.

“I think he’s a little too shy to join me right now, in front of you guys.” He said, answering some comments again. “But if he ever changed his mind, I left a little something for him in his nightstand.” Loki smirked as he brought the red dildo onto the screen and started to playfully lick it. But Thor barely saw it, he opened the drawer in his nightstand and gasped.

There was another mask in there, in red velvet with black lace on top. Loki was really asking Thor to join him, wasn’t he? Would he? Should he? _No he shouldn’t_. His cock jerked in his underwear and Thor didn’t know whether to curse it or encourage it right now. Thor looked back at his laptop where Loki was sucking the dildo into his mouth while moaning. Thor could have that mouth on his cock within less than a minute. But it would be with an audience. Thor looked closer on the screen and it said 246 people were watching Loki live right now. Would Thor even be able to perform with that many people watching?

Thor was scum. He knew it. He closed the laptop and rubbed his face. He went to his mirror over by his desk and looked at his own image, then down on the desk. He picked up the brush and brushed his hair, can’t go on camera with messy hair, before putting the mask on. It was an uneven shape so it covered most of his bruises but not hindering his face from moving. It was firm yet soft against his face. It smelled like Loki’s shampoo. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before taking off his T-shirt, followed by his pants. Thor was definitely tenting his black boxers.

His legs shook with every step down the hallway. Even if Loki’s room was just next door, it felt like miles. Loki’s door was slightly ajar so Thor could slip through without a sound. The scene was unreal and Thor stopped in his tracks. Loki was on his back now, eyes closed as he sucked on the dildo while rubbing his bulge again. The candles flickered, casting dancing shadows on Loki’s skin. The camera Loki was using was connected to his newer laptop, and the window was in theater mode and Thor could see exactly how the scene looked online. Comments were rolling in, in an ever increasing pace and Thor suddenly realized they could see him. He almost snuck back out the door again, but instead he silently closed it before turning back to the scene in front of him. Loki sat up half way, his face turned towards the screen, reading some comments.

“What?” he said breathlessly before his head snapped around to Thor. Not in a million years would Thor be able to back out now. Loki looked at him from top to toe and back up to his eyes, his own eyes wide and disbelieving.

“Are you really here?” He asked.

“I’m here.” Thor stated, barely recognizing his own voice. He took a few steps closer to Loki’s bed and Loki got up on his knees, closer to his headboard, and still staring at him like he couldn’t believe his eyes. Thor was aware their angle didn’t play too well on camera so he walked around Loki’s bed to the opposite side so he was in front of the camera, but sideways, and Loki was facing it again.

“W-what are you-” Loki started but Thor interrupted him.

“Come over here.” Thor was surprised at the firmness of his own voice, because he certainly didn’t feel very confident about this whole thing. He pointed to the edge of the bed and Loki looked between it and his face several times before he did as he was told. “Sit on the edge.” Thor said and Loki did. Thor rearranged the camera a bit so they had an even better angle for their audience. Thor’s abs looked great in this light, at least on camera. Loki chuckled.

“What?”

“They, um, they think you’re very hot.” Loki pointed towards the laptop. Thor leaned over so his face was in the picture.

“Thanks guys.” Thor said and was about to raise both his thumbs towards them but Loki stopped his arms before he could get them into the frame.

“No.” Loki whispered. Thor stood up straight again and there was a moment of awkwardness before Thor saw the red dildo on the bed where Loki had dropped it. He picked it up and held it in front of Loki’s lips.

“You seem to like this one.” Thor said and slid it over Loki's mouth from one corner to the other. His brother opened his mouth but Thor pulled it away before he could suck on it. “No. You’re done with this one for tonight.” Thor dropped it on the floor and Loki followed it with his eyes, looking offended like Thor just insulted his entire heritage. He opened is mouth to protest but Thor cupped his chin, turning his face upwards. Thor leaned in and put a soft kiss on those lips. Loki hummed and when Thor pulled back Loki had his eyes closed again.

“Look at me, _Luscious_.” He said softly and Loki did. “You’ve been practicing sucking a cock for a while now, haven’t you?” Thor asked and Loki only nodded but his breathing picked up.

“Well, what good would all that practice be for, if you don’t get to try your skills for real?” Thor asked.

“Indeed.” Loki said and Thor finally let go of his face to pull at the elastic band of his underwear.

“Are you sure you want it though?”

“God yes.” Loki said and licked his lips, just like he did in other videos. Thor pulled down his boxers and stepped out of them, then taking hold of his cock and giving it a few tugs. Loki moaned as he saw it but seemed unaware he did it.

“Well? What are you waiting for?” Thor asked and let go of his cock. Loki’s pupils grew larger before he reached for Thor’s waist and pulled him in closer. He met Thor’s gaze for a moment and there was unbridled lust in them. Loki’s mouth hovered right in front of Thor’s cock and he he could feel the puffs of warm air on the head. Loki licked his lips again before sticking his tongue out and licking it tentatively before looking up at Thor again. Thor couldn’t help the moan slipping from his own lips.

It seemed to encourage his brother, so Loki took hold of Thor's cock with his hand, then rubbing its head over his mouth just like Thor had done with the dildo. Loki pursed his lips and sucked a kiss just below the head and Thor’s cock definitely liked that.

“Oh.” Thor gasped and put a hand on the back of Loki’s head and buried it into his hair. His hair was so fucking soft and Thor wanted to bury his face in it but he couldn’t do that right now. Maybe another time.

Finally Loki opened his mouth and sucked on the tip for a few seconds before slowly pulling Thor forward, and his cock slid deeper into Loki’s mouth. Loki hummed around him and Thor clenched his fist in Loki’s hair, accidentally tugging it in the process. Loki hissed at first before he groaned loudly, sending shivers down Thor’s spine. Oh God, it was really happening. Thor actually had Loki’s lips wrapped around his dick right now and it was so much better than he ever thought it would be. Loki went deeper until he choked, then pulled off, taking a few deep breaths.

“Your cock is bigger than any of my toys.” Loki said and stroked Thor’s cock with his hand a few times, licked around the head before taking it into his mouth again.

“So good.” Thor panted and Loki moaned at the praise. He s went for it again but once again, he choked. “Don’t hurt yourself. You’re good whether you take it all or not, okay?”

Loki nodded but smiled wickedly as he winked at him. He pulled off entirely and then slid off the bed and knelt on the floor before him. He dived back in and nuzzled Thor’s balls before sucking on them one by one. Then he cupped the balls in his hand and gently caressed them while licking and sucking his way up Thor’s shaft. The head popped into his mouth again and Loki slowly worked his way down Thor’s cock. He gagged once, pulled back and changed his angle and pushed down again. He got further this time and Thor panted at the sight. Dear lord, if Loki actually managed to... God himself wouldn’t be able to stop Thor from coming.

Thor could feel sweat sliding down his back and couldn’t stop himself from gasping, groaning, holding on to Loki’s hair for dear life as his brother kept sucking him off. Thor was getting closer and closer with every bob of Loki’s head, every swirl of his tongue, every pump of his hand.

Loki pulled back only a little this time before he looked up and his green eyes stared right into Thor’s as he jutted out his lower jaw, aligned his throat a little differently, then swallowed Thor down, down and there it was.

“Oh fuck.” Thor whimpered as Loki’s nose touched the hair at the base of his cock. Then, Loki’s throat squeezed around him.

“Fuck!” Thor shot his load down that long, perfect throat and he kept coming as Loki pulled back a bit to breathe. Loki moaned around his cock, sending vibrations through it and Thor’s hips jerked but Loki dug his nails into his flesh and stopped him from pushing down his throat again. Loki pulled off completely and licked his lips and grinned at him. Thor almost curled his entire upper body over his brother, embracing him while panting into his ear.

“You’re amazing, brother.” he whispered so their audience wouldn’t hear. Loki wrapped his arms around Thor’s waist and buried his face against his stomach. They breathed together for just a few moments before Loki chuckled.

“I can’t believe we did that. In front of people.”

“Me neither.” Thor laughed then kneeled in front of his brother and held his face between both his hands. There was some come on Loki’s chin but Thor didn’t care. He pulled him in and kissed him. The first one was sweet, only lips and no tongue. Thor wanted to get closer, deeper still but their masks stuck together and wouldn't allow it so they laughed into each other’s mouths and separated. Thor looked down and saw a big wet spot on Loki’s pink lace. Loki blushed and then snickered as he turned towards the camera.

“I hope you all enjoyed that. So what do think guys? Did I do well on my first try with a real dick?” Loki laughed that porny laugh he had in some videos and Thor reached out and put his hand over his brother’s heart. It was beating so fast. Loki looked at him.

“See you in the next one.” He said and quickly turned off his live streaming, only taking his eyes off of Thor for four seconds. They were off the air, Loki’s laptop was closed and the camera was facing another way.

“So...” Loki suddenly seemed nervous, Thor could tell.

“So.”

“What, uh, what should-” He reached for Loki’s mask and took it off of him before taking off his own, then he grabbed hold of Loki’s hair in both hands and pulled him into another kiss. Loki sighed into it like it was exactly what he waited for and he slid his arms around Thor’s shoulders. Thor cupped the back of Loki’s head with one hand and pressed closer, licking over his lips, making his intent clear.

Loki opened his mouth, welcoming him in. Thor could taste his own come as he carefully dipped his tongue into his brother’s mouth but he didn’t mind it much. He’d tasted his own come before, just to see what it was like, but it tasted better this time. Either way, he didn’t care as long as Loki’s soft lips were kissing him back this way. They kissed a long time, or maybe it was mere minutes, but it was enough to make Thor’s body start to ready itself for a second round. It hadn’t done that for a long time. He knew exactly who caused it.

Their hands touched skin, as much as they could reach, without having to stop kissing each other, and Loki’s skin was so goddamn soft. Thor’s mind wandered to a place, perhaps in the future, to a bright and sunlit room with him and Loki lying next to each other in a big bed on a lazy Sunday afternoon with Thor just running his fingers over his brother’s skin raising goosebumps all over him, much like he was doing now.

“Thor, I want-” Loki started to say as he pulled back but leaned in and nuzzled the bruised side of Thor’s face. “Thor, please. I want you to-” They both almost jumped out of their skin as Loki’s phone started ringing.

“Hello?” It was their mom. Uncle Ve was still alive and they were five minutes away from home and could they please make some tea and biscuits for them?

Thor sighed sadly (though he was glad uncle Ve was still alive) as he hurried back to his room while Loki ran for a quick shower and brushing his teeth. Thor really wanted to hear the end of that sentence.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki are forced to go to uncle Ve's house to show support to his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the lovely comments and kudos and bookmarks on this fic. I am in awe of it all. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! ♥

Besides furtive glances and the occasional smiles, it took them almost three days until they had some time alone. Odin and Frigga insisted that they come back with them to uncle Ve’s house to “be there” for his family the day after Loki’s birthday. Uncle Ve was one thing, they loved him. But his sons, and wife, were assholes. They were so full of themselves and expected the rest of the world to fall at their feet to worship them. They probably didn’t but that’s how it felt to Thor and Loki. They didn’t want to be there and it was obvious that Ve’s family didn’t want them there either. Everything was a competition with them and it was exhausting. Neither Thor or Loki was in the mood for anything competitive with them, and they were trying to be nice towards them since their father was in hospital but it was difficult.

They were meant to share rooms with their cousins but it didn’t work out. Thor was supposed to share with Erik since they were of the same age and size, and Loki with Sven since Sven was only 2 years younger than him. The first night had ended with Loki pushing Sven’s face into the carpet of his bedroom since he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. He’d smacked Loki’s bare ass with his hand when Loki was changing into his pajamas. Loki had been quick and caught his wrist as he pulled back, twisted his arm behind his back and then Sven’s face was in the carpet. Thor felt anger simmer beneath the surface when he heard about it, and Loki warned him to keep his cool.

So they switched, putting Loki with Erik and Thor with Sven the next evening. The second night ended with Loki locking Erik in the trunk by the foot of his bed after he made some homophobic comments. He claimed he only got in the box after Loki had threatened him with a big knife but no one could find said knife so nobody believed him. Except for Thor that is. Erik described one of Loki’s knives perfectly, the ones he got from Thor on his birthday. Did Thor say anything to help Erik out? Nope.

So here they were now, Loki and Thor, alone in Sven’s room. That they didn’t do this from the beginning was sheer stupidity. Thor was in Sven’s bed and Loki on a blow-up mattress on the floor. It made noises every time he moved. Thor missed his own bed, where his feet didn’t hang over the edge because he was too fucking tall. Where he could get up in the middle of the night and go into the kitchen for something to eat, or drink. Aunt Marit had actually slapped Thor’s hand when he reached for a soda can in the fridge earlier today, saying it wasn’t his soda. He really, really _hated_ this place.

Loki moved around again and sighed loudly.

“Could you please stop making so much noise?” Thor said into the darkness.

“Shut up. At least you’re in a bed. _Anything_ is better than this fucking torture device. It’s not even filled properly so it’s like I’m bent in two no matter which way I turn!” Loki growled and Thor smiled.

“So come up here then.” Thor said and Loki stopped moving around, and even though the room was dark, and Thor’s eyes were closed, he could tell Loki was watching him.

“Really? You’d let me?” Loki sounded uncertain and Thor didn’t understand that. Loki had sucked his cock three nights ago so why wouldn’t Thor want to share the bed with him?

“Of course. Come on.” Thor scooted back on the bed and lifted the covers. It took all about three seconds before Loki slipped under the covers, turning his back to Thor. But that was okay, Thor had always loved spooning. Though Loki was lying a bit too far away to actually count as spooning.

“Hi.” Loki said and pulled the cover up to his chin.

“Hey.” Thor replied and was a bit unsure on how to proceed. He didn’t want any awkwardness between them, they had come too damn far for that, but he also wanted to touch. They hadn’t even touched hands since the live streaming thing, barely spoken. He compromised and put his free hand on Loki’s hip, on top of the covers. Loki froze momentarily before he relaxed into the bed and sighed again, but this time it was a more satisfied one.

“Thanks.” He said.

“For what?”

"Sharing the bed. Not telling on me about the knife. Erik had it coming though.”

“Yeah he did. I’m more surprised you didn’t threaten Sven with it too.”

“I’m physically stronger than him so it felt unnecessary. I think I handled him fine.”

Thor chuckled and pulled Loki closer to him, and Loki let him. Their heads were on the same pillow and a few hairs tickled Thor’s nose. _Apples_. He loved that scent. He tried, but failed, to stop himself and he moved his face forward into the back of his brother’s head and inhaled deeply. Then he hummed before he pulled back.

“What the hell was that?” Loki said.

“Sorry, I couldn’t stop myself. I love your hair.”

“You do?” Loki turned on his back and looked at him.

“Very much.” Thor moved his hand and gently slid his fingers down the side of Loki’s face. Loki shivered, watching his every move. Thor’s thumb caressed Loki’s chin before it went up to his mouth. Loki pursed his lips and kissed the pad of his thumb and Thor smiled.

“Your hair is so soft.” Thor continued when Loki didn’t say anything. “I love the smell of it. It's not that chemical apple- smell other shampoos have. Your hair smells like the apples in the garden, sun-kissed and freshly picked. I want to bury my face in it every time you walk past me. Every time there’s a waft of that smell I want to close my eyes and breathe you in.”

“Oh. Well then.” Loki chuckled, then turned on his side again but this time pressed his back close to Thor’s chest. “Feel free.” He said and Thor needed no more words.

He buried his nose in his brother’s hair again and inhaled deeply several times. Loki giggled, actually giggled. Thor chuckled into the hair and moved his nose around in it, breathing him in as much as he could. Without thinking too much about it, he dragged his nose down the back of Loki’s neck and pressed a little kiss to the skin there. Instead of a giggle, Loki let out a gasp. Thor realized that maybe this was the wrong place for anything at all to happen between them. But instead of stopping, Thor moved Loki’s hair away from the side of his long neck and slid his nose over it, before putting a small kiss there too. He kissed from Loki’s neck, all the way to his shoulder.

“Thor.” Loki reached a hand up and grabbed his head and pulled him closer to his neck. Instead of pressing another kiss to it, Thor scraped his teeth against it. It made Loki press his butt against Thor’s growing bulge, so Thor guessed he liked that. He laved on Loki’s neck for a good while as his brother started to writhe beside him, slowly gyrating his hips, seeking friction. Thor slid his hand down Loki’s chest until he reached the hem of his pajama pants. He pushed his hand inside and was pleasantly surprised when he found Loki was going commando underneath. His brother’s cock was smooth and warm as he wrapped his fingers around it. Loki moaned at the first stroke.

“Hush, brother. We don’t want them to hear us, do we?” Thor whispered into his ear, before kissing right beneath it and started moving his hand on Loki’s cock. Loki turned his face down into the pillow and whimpered. His hips moved with Thor’s movements. Pleasuring his brother in their cousin’s bed hadn’t been in his plans but damn it all to hell, it was one of the hottest things he’d ever experienced. He continued to pump his brother’s cock while nibbling on his neck until Loki’s cock was wet with pre-come and he was panting Thor’s name like a prayer.

Thor's own cock was rock hard and he briefly released Loki from his grip to lower his own pajamas to free himself. It was enough time for Loki to turn on his back again, but he pulled Thor on top this time. With his feet, he pulled Thor’s pants down to just below his knees. And Loki was naked. How the hell did he manage that?

Loki spread his legs, shifting around a bit until their cocks were aligned. He moved his hips and Thor moved with him and oh Jesus, it was good. The friction of their cocks sliding together was heavenly and the fact that he could feel all of Loki against him, smell him, heightened it even further. This was a whole new level of intimacy between them.

Loki pulled Thor’s shirt off then pulled him down. Their mouths connected, the kiss deepening fast. Loki wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck and kept sucking his tongue, licking into his mouth, panting against his lips. Then he wrapped his legs around him and pulled him down harder on top of him. Thor grunted as he struggled to stay on his knees but Loki wouldn’t have it. The bed creaked under them and Thor tried to hush his brother but to no use. Loki was getting more desperate and the only thing Thor could think of was to slide a hand between them and pull both their cocks in the same hand. Loki mewled his name and his thighs had started shaking so he was very close to coming. Thor pushed his hips down hard and squeezed their cocks in his hand as he also kissed Loki deep, catching his yelp as he spilled between them. Loki clung to him like he never wanted to let him go.

“Fuck Thor. I want you to- Jesus.” Loki panted close to his ear and Thor’s thrusts became erratic as he teetered on the edge of his own release.

“What do you want me to do?” Thor asked. It was the second time Loki said something like that but didn’t finish the sentence. “What do you need, brother?”

“I want you to take... I want you to fuck me.” Loki whimpered and Thor came, he couldn’t help it. The images alone that sprung to his mind were overwhelming.

“Oh, shit.” he panted as his cock pulsed his release over Loki’s cock and belly. To avoid crushing his brother beneath him, Thor fell to the side of him. They didn’t say anything for a long moment, just existing next to each other.

“Well, if this isn’t a sticky situation, I don’t know what is.” Loki finally said while running a finger through the wet mess on his stomach, and Thor couldn’t believe his ears. Their eyes met before Thor guffawed, then trying to stop his laughter with his hands. It was such a lame joke but lame enough to be funny. Loki laughed and sat up, wiping the mess off of him with a shirt from the floor. After they calmed down, they lied next to each other and just looked, without words. Thor was getting sleepy but before he drifted off, he pulled his brother close and kissed him tenderly on the lips. Then he fell asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't work out while at their cousins house. Some violence is in order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy weekend! I was gonna wait to post this but what the hell, it's Friday.

The next day, Odin took Thor with him to the butchers to buy steaks for everyone, Odin’s treat. He insisted everyone would feel better after a barbecue and Thor had to agree. He loved a good steak, fresh from the grill. Thor suggested getting new vegetables too so they would be fresh and crispy. It had been a while since he and his dad spent some time alone together, even longer since they last went shopping for food. They were gone for over an hour, just taking their time and talking about this and that. Odin asked him about life after college and Thor just didn’t know. All he knew was that he wasn’t going into any kind of law work. His father huffed, like Thor insulted him personally and after that, Thor just said they should hurry back to uncle Ve’s house. The nice time was over. Typical. It was like his father had a system built into his body and he could only tolerate kindness or being nice to someone else for a limited time and when the time was up, it was up.

As they parked the car in the driveway, they could hear Frigga yelling about something from outside and they hurried inside. Marit was yelling back, seemingly in defense over something. Loki stood at the entrance to the kitchen with slumped shoulders and hugging himself. Their cousins weren’t there. Something bad had happened.

“What on earth happened here?” Odin demanded and Frigga was livid as she turned towards them. She pointed at Marit.

“Her cretin of a son attacked my son!” Thor dropped the shopping bag on the floor and went to Loki. He hoped to God he misheard her.

“Your son started it!” Marit yelled and that set Frigga off again and then they bickered, throwing insults at each other. Odin had to yell at them both to shut up. Thor had never seen his mother so angry before.

“Loki.” Thor said and Loki turned towards him. His lower lip was split and a bruise was forming at one corner of his mouth. His eyes were wet like he’d been crying for a while. Thor gasped and gently grasped Loki's chin and looked it over before letting his face go. 

“Who did this?” Thor asked, his fists already clenching. Loki shook his head and Thor almost growled when he heard Marit say something so stupid her humanity- card should be taken back.

“He wouldn’t have hit him if he was straight like the rest of us. He’s more a princess than a prince.”

It made Loki’s lips wobble and tears spill down his cheeks.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Thor turned his anger towards his aunt.

“I’m just saying-”

“You said _enough_!” Thor yelled and she paled. Good. The bitch deserved to be scared.

“Thor, calm down. I’m sure we can sort this out.” Odin tried and Thor wanted to punch his fucking face in.

“Her son attacked Loki because he’s not straight enough? You better be joking, dad.” Thor could feel his own face set in stone. He couldn’t believe that asshole. His son was attacked because he was gay and he thought they could sort it out?

“Thor, I’m your father and-”

“If you even _think_ of defending the asshole that hurt Loki, you’re not my father any more.” All three adults gasped at the statement. Thor meant every word. Suddenly there were steps in the hallway and Erik appeared.

“Are we over it yet?” He sighed and it made Loki hug himself harder. Loki locked eyes with Thor for two seconds before his eyes went to the floor. Ah, it was him then. Thor stepped around his brother and that’s when Erik saw him. He immediately took two steps back.

“You think you can hurt my brother and get away with it?” Thor followed him step by step, breathing harshly through his nose and clenching his fists. Erik saw it and raised his hands in the air while he continued walking backwards.

“Thor come on. He just needed a little-”

“He needed _nothing_ from you.” Thor said and pushed Erik in the chest hard, slamming him into the wall behind him. Erik cried out. Thor grabbed him by the throat and lifted him until only his tippytoes touched the ground. Erik grabbed at his hand, trying to break free before choking. “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size? How’s that feel? Huh?”

“Thor, let him go!” Odin yelled somewhere behind him but he didn’t listen. Marit shrieked about him killing her son and Thor thought _good_.

“I could, you know. Kill you.” Thor squeezed his throat harder, but not enough to break anything. “And I _will_.” Erik’s eyes grew large and he fought to get loose. “If you _ever_ touch my brother again, I will. And that’s not me threatening you, it’s a fucking promise. Do you understand?” Thor growled, bared his teeth, squeezed harder again and Erik nodded frantically and that’s when Thor dropped him. Erik tumbled to the side, clutching at his throat and wheezing. He started crying and it gave Thor a sense of pleasure, that he could hurt someone that hurt his brother.

“Get out of my house you freak!” Marit yelled as she thew herself in front of her son.

“Gladly.” Thor said then looked back at Loki. “Get your bag.” Loki shot off like his butt was on fire and it didn’t take long before he brought both their bags back. 

Odin was trying to make excuses for Thor’s behavior to Marit but Frigga stood back in silence, with her arms crossed over her chest. Was she _smiling_? Thor must be seeing things.

“Thor, I forbid you to leave this house!” Odin yelled and refused to give him the car keys. Thor didn’t reply, he just put an arm around Loki and walked him out of the house, down the stairs and onto the sidewalk. They walked side by side in silence for about a block.

“I can’t believe you did that!” Loki yelled out loud, causing Thor to jump.

“Why not? I would’ve done worse. I _have_ done worse.” Thor said.

“Yeah, but he’s your cousin!”

“Cousin or not, it doesn’t matter. Nobody hurts my... you. Nobody hurts _you_. Okay?” Thor paused his steps and breathed deeply as it dawned over him what he’d done. But he’d do it again, he knew it.

“I thought Odin was gonna have a heart attack right there! You should’ve seen the look on his face when you lifted Erik off the ground. And oh my God, how strong are you anyway? Erik is only slightly thinner than you, otherwise he’s your match in everything.”

“Loki, please. Let’s talk about it when we get home, okay?” Thor rubbed his face. He was hungry now and tired as hell. He felt like a fifty year old man stuck in a twenty year old’s body.

“Okay, fine. I can wait.” They looked at each other for a moment before Thor frowned.

“Uh, how are we going to get home?” Thor asked out loud and Loki shifted from one foot to another.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. Great. It took over two hours to get here by car. And now they were on foot. How the hell were they gonna get home?

“Bus?” Thor suggested and Loki perked up and they decided to walk into the city, which was only about a half hour walk away. They could get home, one way or another.

They hadn’t walked five minutes before their parents car came driving, honking at them. They stopped and glanced at each other as Frigga told them to get in. She was alone. Was she gonna drive them back to aunt Marit’s house to sit and “talk it out” or something? Thor jumped into the passenger seat and put on his seat belt and Loki jumped into the backseat with the bags. To their surprise their mother kept driving into the city, then through it. They were going home. Without Odin?

“Mom? Shouldn’t we go back and pick up dad?” Thor asked carefully. His mother’s face looked like a thundercloud.

“No. He can stay where he is.” Frigga shifted in her seat, then increased the pace.

“But Odin-” Loki piped from the back but Frigga interrupted him.

“Fuck Odin!” She yelled and Loki closed his mouth with a snap.

“Hey mom? Why don’t I drive?” Thor said gently as he eyed his mother’s white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel. They did not need a car crash on top of everything else.

“I can drive my own damn car!”

“I know you can. Only you’re going a little too fast.”

“So?!”

“Nothing, I love going fast. I love speeding.” Thor smiled at her. “Though, maybe not in such a populated area?” He tried to convince his mother to slow down. Loki didn’t say anything from the backseat which said a whole lot. It was unusual for their mother to be like this, she’s often the face of peace and serenity but now she was anything but.

“I can drive, Thor!”

“I know you can, mom. But if something happened and Loki got hurt, I would have to kick your ass too.” Thor finished and his mother huffed a snort. Then she started laughing and actually eyed the speedometer and then slowed down. Thor breathed. Holy shit.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m a bit upset at the moment.”

"Really? I couldn’t tell.” Thor  deadpanned and Frigga laughed again.

“Hey, why don’t we get some ice cream when we get home and I’ll make that thing with the bananas and meringues you guys like so much?” Frigga said and Thor and Loki didn’t dare to say anything else than yes.

*****

It was late, the sun had set hours ago and still no Odin. Thor and Loki were both lying on the couches in the TV room. Frigga had gone to bed over an hour ago and she had looked exhausted. They all felt it. It was like they were waiting for Odin to choose their family first over his brother’s and neither of them seemed to understand it, why it was even a choice for him. Tonight it was like the calm before the storm and the storm would be inevitable.

Looking over at his brother, he could see Loki wasn’t watching the movie either, just staring at it blankly while lost in his own mind. Thor got up and clicked off the TV and Loki finally looked at him with dark eyes. Thor reached out a hand to him and Loki took it without hesitation. The walked up the stairs, still holding hands. They passed Loki’s room but Thor held on to his hand and pulled him along to his own room. Loki went with him willingly. Thor closed and locked the door behind them, then went up to his bed and stripped off his clothes down to his boxers. Loki looked at him from head to toe before doing the same. They climbed into the bed wordlessly, settling down side by side under the covers.

Without saying anything, Thor pulled Loki into his arms and held him close. Loki rolled against him and buried his face in Thor’s chest and put an arm around his waist. Their legs tangled when trying to get even closer to each other. For a while they just breathed, then he heard Loki’s soft snoring.

Thor had no idea what was gonna happen, what Odin was even doing or what had happened between his parents back there.

The only thing he was sure of was how strongly he felt for the one he held in his arms right now. They were brothers but Thor knew that what he felt went far beyond that. Was it right? Probably not, but he didn’t care. What he cared about was holding his brother close, smelling apples and feeling safe and happy. Making Loki feel safe and that somebody loved him. Because Thor did. He loved Loki more than he could even begin to express. He wasn’t sure when it happened, when it had changed but it had. He loved his brother.

He was  _in love_ with his brother.

As he looked at his brother’s sleeping form he knew with every fiber in his body; Loki was  _his_ .


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> En Dwi Gast is back and secrets are revealed.

Thor woke up alone, and the sun filtered in through the blinds. He’d hoped to wake up with his brother still in his arms but it was probably too risky. Looking at the lock he realized it was almost lunch. Damn, he didn’t mean to sleep in today. He quickly put on some clothes, and paid a visit to the bathroom before making it downstairs. It smelled like food and his stomach growled. It smelled delicious. Loki and Frigga laughed as a male voice spoke and Thor thought for a minute that his father had come home and felt happy about it. Until he stepped into the kitchen and saw En Dwi Gast sitting at the table and gesturing animatedly while talking excitedly about something. His brother and mother laughed again but Thor’s stomach dropped. This was wrong, so wrong. What the hell was he doing here anyway, and so early?

“What’s going on?” He asked and everyone turned to him.

“Hey Thor! I was just telling your mom and brother about the time I was almost thrown into the Seine when I was in Paris last year.” Uncle En leaned back in his chair and smiled at him. It made Thor cringe, there was that thing again when he felt out of the loop. He was an outsider in this gang and he didn’t like it one bit. Loki looked happy and that was even worse. Thor wanted to be the one who made him happy.

“I can believe _that_.” Thor stated and Loki huffed out a breath but Thor ignored him. Then he went over to the pot cooking on the stove. He lifted the lid and sniffed on it and his mouth watered. Something spicy with a hint of coconut. Someone was trying a new recipe. “That smells amazing.”

“Yeah. En is making lunch today.” Loki said and watched him.

“Oh.” En was cooking in their kitchen now? What’s next? Him moving in so he got even closer to Loki? The guy was a creep and Thor couldn’t understand why nobody else saw that. Something was up with him and Loki but now it looked like his mom was also in on whatever secret they shared. Didn’t she have a problem with what was going on at all?

“Well.” He continued. “I guess I should go on a run.” He backed out of the kitchen and got his running shoes before taking off. He ran his usual round for almost an hour without breaks, working off some tension and anger.

Thor was angry at everyone right now. Most of all his asshole cousins for touching his brother, his dad for being a weak-ass shit right now, his mom for letting uncle En into their house today and then with Loki for laughing at that man’s story. Even though the world as they know it might be coming to an end, above everything else Thor was jealous. He knew how fond his brother was of En Dwi Gast, how he always had been. Them sharing something, a secret, only made it worse. Thor wanted to know what it was that bonded them together so. En Dwi Gast seemed to have genuine affection for his brother but that would be too sick. He was a friend of their parents, that’s how old he was! Thor’s mind flashed back to Loki’s birthday when he caught them hugging in Loki’s room and Thor almost growled. No. He wouldn't let them. He  _couldn’t_ let his brother go with that man. Loki was his, damn it, and he very much planned to keep him. There was just this sense over it all that if Thor pushed for Loki to choose between them, he might not choose Thor and that was too hurtful to even think about. He loved Loki more than anything, but Loki may not love him in the same way, or not as much.

Thor stopped his run in front of their house and gasped for air as he stretched his arms over his head. Sweat ran down his face, and Thor decided to just ask his brother about it when he had a chance. The thought he might lose him to uncle En, the thought of the other man touching Loki intimately or kissing him, or smelling his hair like Thor had done, made him want to either puke his guts out or break down crying. It was just so  _wrong_ . He had to speak up.

He went inside and they still seemed to be in the kitchen. He glanced inside but Frigga wasn’t there. Thor went upstairs and took a quick shower before going downstairs again since Loki wasn’t in his room. He could hear him talking in the kitchen now so he went there to see him. Loki and uncle En were standing by the stove, bumping shoulders and chuckling softly. En was stirring the pot with a wooden spoon then brought it to Loki’s lips. Loki hummed at the taste then frowned.

“Ginger?” He asked.

“Very good, Loki. Your taste buds are very impressive. I wasn’t sure it would come through the coconut milk.” Uncle En said and stirred the pot again, not rinsing the spoon between.

“Thanks, dad.” Loki giggled and then bent to the oven and took a pan out with some rice thingy. Thor was bubbling with anger.

“What?” Thor said loudly and Loki almost dropped the pan. He put it on top of the stove next to whatever it was that was cooking.

“Thor, I didn’t hear you come in.”

“What did you just call him?” Thor refused to back down this time. Was it a sugar daddy/ sugar baby situation between them? Thor was so not okay with that, but it would maybe explain the apartment in Rome. Would En visit him there for a bit of sugar every little now and then?

“Thor, buddy, maybe you should sit.” En said and Thor snapped.

“You shut you mouth right now old man or I swear I will thump you.”

“Look at that, he’s thre- threatening me.”

“Thor, shut up you absolute idiot.” Loki hissed but Thor wouldn’t be hushed.

“What is it between you two, huh? Are you having an affair? Is that it? Does mom and dad know?” Thor was like a freight train and Loki the mountain standing in the way. 

“An affair? How _dare_ you? You have no idea what you’re talking about!” Loki yelled back and then they were mere inches apart, staring each other down.

“Frigga!” Uncle En called for their mother and it didn’t take long before she appeared.

“What’s going on in here?” She gasped.

“Tell me, Loki. Is he _that_ good?” Thor said. He needed to know. Loki’s eyebrows knitted together, he was _very_ pissed off.

“It’s not what you think you buffoon, you’ve misinterpreted the whole situation!”

“I walked in here and you called him daddy, what could I _possibly_ misinterpret?”

“I did not call him _daddy_ , I called him _dad_.” Loki hissed through clenched teeth.

“Fine! Why would you even call him dad in the first place?”

“BECAUSE HE IS!” Loki screamed at the top of his lungs and Thor blinked. That made no sense at all.

“What?”

“You weren’t supposed to find out this way but you gave me very little choice.” Loki sighed sadly. He pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. He looked miserable. 

“Oh honey.” Frigga said and put her hand on Thor’s shoulder. He looked at it for a few seconds before he met her gaze. She looked so regretful and her eyes begged him to... Thor didn’t know what. Uncle En was Loki’s dad? As in real, actual _father_?

“Is it true?” He asked her and she nodded. The world was spinning. Strong hands led him to a chair and a glass of cold water was put in front of him but he didn’t drink it.

“What is happening? How? When?”

“You need to breathe, darling.”

“What I need is for someone to tell me the fucking _truth_ for once!” So the apartment in Rome wasn't a sugar daddy gift, but an actual father- to- son gift? Loki and En Dwi Gast did have a big secret, _a big fucking secret_ but it wasn’t exactly what Thor thought it was. He couldn't tell if he was relieved or not.

“I’m Loki’s biological father.” Uncle En said and then sat down in the chair right across from him. Thor kind of wanted to punch him but also not, since he did in fact _not_ have an affair with his brother. En clasped his hands together on the table, looking like he actually wanted to have the conversation. Good, because Thor wanted answers.

“How did this happen?” Thor asked.

“Do you remember your father talking about the big Greenberg case?” En asked and Thor nodded. It was one of the biggest wins for his father’s firm. It was the one that put them on the map so to speak. En Dwi Gast had been the leading force on that one.

“Good, so you know the grand, official story then. But what isn’t told from behind the scenes is that it took a toll on all of us. Your father, Frigga and me. You and your mother barely saw your father during the last few weeks of that case and then when we finally won, your father decided to celebrate. Elsewhere. And I was here with Frigga and the luxurious dinner she made, waiting on his arrival but he never came home that night. Neither of us knew where he was. Frigga and I had lots of wine and then... well, you know. We sought something in each other for one night and Loki was conceived.”

The kitchen was silent as Thor tried to process it all. His life was taking a dive just when things started to look up.

“Why didn’t anybody tell me?” Thor sniffed and dragged the back of his hand to wipe at his nose. He was close to tears but he didn’t want to cry.

“Oh honey. It was just decided. He’s still your brother, you just don’t have the same father. But I’m still your mother so nothing has really changed.” Frigga said and patted his head softly. It made Thor want to yell at her but she was still his mother, and he also kind of wanted her to hug him, for comfort. Frigga did. She stood close and hugged his head to her chest, and placed a kiss on top of it. Damn it. He felt tears roll down his face. 

“How long have you known?” Thor turned his gaze to Loki.

“Thor, that’s not important.”

“How. Long?”

“Since I was thirteen.” Loki did look a little guilty at the admission. Thor couldn’t process the facts though.

“Five years? You’ve known for _five years_ and you didn’t tell me?” Thor stood up and started pacing the kitchen. “I can’t believe this. How could you all lie to me like this?” Frigga opened her mouth to answer but Thor didn’t want to hear it. “No, don’t say anything. I can’t. I just can’t.”

Thor left the kitchen and ran to his room and slammed the door as hard as he could. Jesus fucking Christ! What the hell was going on? What kind of bizarro world did he wake up in? Thor sat on the bed, trying to get his brain to function properly. There must be some logic somewhere but Thor couldn’t see it. He tried to think rationally on the situation to calm himself down a couple of notches.

Okay. If Odin and uncle En won the big case together, they should’ve celebrated together, shouldn’t they? En said he’d been here with Frigga and a luxurious dinner waiting for Odin, but Odin never showed up. But Frigga and Thor, even though he couldn’t remember any of it, had barely seen him for weeks. Maybe his parents had had a rough spot in their marriage back then? Well, it was in a rough spot in today's world too.

_Anyway_ . Frigga slept with En Dwi Gast (Yikes! And  E w!) for one night only, and she got pregnant.  _Loki_ . But where had his father been? Why didn’t he show up that night? Loki found out when he was thirteen that Odin wasn’t his real father. How? And why didn’t he tell Thor? When Loki was thirteen they were still close, they still hung out every day. He had every chance to tell him but he chose not to.

What they had together these days made it all feel worse. Now that they were closer than ever before, it hurt to know Loki hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him. Yes, they had drifted apart for a while but if Loki had told him, maybe they wouldn't have? There were just too many questions running in his mind right now. All of a sudden his door opened and Loki came in, carrying a tray with a plate of food and a glass of milk on it. His mouth was turned downwards and Thor’s instinct told him to cheer his brother up. But he was still too pissed off so he wouldn’t.

“Okay, this time I _know_ I locked the door.” He said instead.

“Not that hard to pick these old locks.” Loki slammed the tray down on Thor’s desk, almost spilling the milk. “Lunch.” He said and stomped towards the door again. Loki was really angry. Why was Loki angry? If anyone should be angry, it was Thor!

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Thor asked. Maybe Loki could tell him now that it was only the two of them. Or, maybe it would be easier for Thor to hear it with just the two of them present.

“Because.” Loki stopped. His arms slid around his own waist. In moments he would be hugging himself. Thor got up from his bed and went to his brother. He shut the door so nobody else could hear them.

“Loki, please. Please just tell me _why_.”

“Because.” Loki sniffled. “Because I didn’t want you to look at me any differently if you found out.” He sniffled again.

“Why would I look at you differently?”

“Oh please!” Loki laughed bitterly. “Don’t you remember the way you and your friends used to joke around?”

“Joke around? What are you talking about?” Thor frowned. No, he didn’t remember.

“You and- and Sif always made fun of me for being so pale and looking so different from the rest of the family. You guys used to joke about me being adopted and you said once that if you ever found out I _was_ adopted, you would send me back to wherever I came from.” Loki wiped at his eyes. Okay, that did sound a bit familiar now that he mentioned it. Oh man.

“Oh, Loki.”

“Then I found out that Odin actually _wasn’t_ my real dad but uncle En was, and thirteen year old me thought that maybe you wouldn’t want me as your brother any more. Maybe you wanted to send me away with my real father, like you said you would. But I didn’t want to go away, Thor, I wanted to stay here with you. So I made mom and Odin swear not to tell you.”

Thor hugged him. He hugged him as hard as he could without crushing him. Thor was a shithead, had always been a shithead apparently. Thor understood. He was still pissed that nobody had told him but he could understand now why Loki hadn’t. 

“I’m sorry I ever said that.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I was scared.”

“I’m so sorry.” Thor said again. He pulled back a few inches, then kissed his brother. Loki sniffled into the kiss before he responded. He wound his arms around Thor’s shoulders and they kissed deeply. Loki climbed him and wrapped his legs around his waist. Thor pushed him up against the door and the kisses grew more demanding, more desperate. They were both hard in their pants and Thor pushed his hips against Loki’s and Loki gasped, then bit Thor’s lips. Thor licked into his brother’s mouth and kept grinding against him, driving them both mad with lust and need. God, Thor would come in his pants this way.

They both yelped as there was a loud knock on the door.

“Thor!” Frigga called, her voice held an alarm to it and the brothers both recognized it. He dropped Loki down, who ran to hide behind Thor. Thor pulled his shirt down to hide his erection, then opened the door.

“Mom, what is it? Is it dad?” She shook her head, tears filling her eyes.

“Sif just called, she’s at the hospital. It’s Fandral.”

“What about Fandral?”

“His neighbors found him in his garden this morning.”

“ _What_?! Is he okay?”

“I don’t know. Sif said it’s bad and you should get there.”

Thor’s world started spinning and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Then everything went dark


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor wakes up at the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't believe my little fic has gotten over 400 Kudos! Thank you so much to each and everyone of you, please know I value every kudos, bookmarks and comments I get! ♥

Thor’s head was pounding and everything was too bright. It was like the worst hangover he ever had with added nausea. He groaned and tried to rub his face but his hand was stuck on something. And ow, that hurt. He tried to open his eyes but they didn’t want to obey.

“I have to give it to you, brother. You did find the fastest way to get to the hospital. The ambulance was really fast today.” Loki said somewhere to his left.

“Loki? What happened?” Gosh his voice sounded really scratchy and he was thirsty as hell.

“You fainted, that’s what happened.”

“It’s too bright.” Thor said and frowned. He really wanted to open his eyes but it was too goddamn bright. It only took a few seconds before the lamp in the ceiling was turned off. “Thank you, you’re a good brother.”

“I know. Which is more than I can say for you. How dare you scare me like that? You just went limp like a wet noodle and you almost hit your head on your desk!”

Thor finally managed to open his eyes. He was in a hospital bed! He looked around. Loki was the only one there, but his mother’s bag was by the door so she had been here.

“What the hell happened?” Then he remembered. He tried to sit up. “Fandral! I have to get to Fandral!”

“Hey hey, you’re not going anywhere at the moment. See that? That’s an intravenous drip.” Loki pointed to a drip connected to Thor’s arm. So that’s what had hurt.

“A what? Why?”

“Apparently you’re dehydrated and your body is, or was, in stress mode. When was the last time you drank something, Thor?”

“I think it was in the morning at uncle Ve’s, you know before that bitch slapped my hand away from the soda.”

“That was days ago. Thor, you’re a healthy guy, you know how important it is to drink water _every fucking day_. And then you haven’t been eating enough and then you went for an hour run this morning and you didn’t eat or drink before or after it. And then the emotional stress when you freaked out over me and En Dwi Gast, then the news about Fandral. It was too much for you, I guess. The doctor said you need liquids and rest.”

“Whatever! I need to see Fandral!”

“Thor you can’t. They won’t let anyone but Sif see him right now. But he is alive, there’s that at least.”

“Why can’t I see him? He’s my best friend!”

Loki sighed and pulled the chair closer to Thor’s bed before he sat down. He took Thor’s hand into his and Thor dreaded whatever he was gonna say.

“Thor, Fandral was beaten. Severely so. Sif says he looks like a dark plum, that’s how discolored his face is. He’s in bandages.” Loki licked his lips as if to prepare himself to say something difficult. “There was some swelling in, uh, in his brain and they had to put him into an induced coma.” Loki finished and looked at Thor with big eyes. He cared about Fandral too, Fandral had been like an extra brother to him when they were growing up. It was obvious Loki cared because his lips trembled as he spoke and his eyes were tear-filled.

“Oh my God.” Thor sobbed. He lied back in his bed. The room was spinning again.

“You need to calm down, Thor.”

“Calm down? My best friend is in a coma!”

“And how can you help if you pass out again?” Loki squeezed his hand hard and it did help ground him a little.

“I can’t do anything to help him from here. I can’t help him if I don’t get to see him.”

“You can’t help him either way. He’s... sleeping. Sif will come by later so you can ask her for more information.”

Thor started crying. Who the hell would want to hurt Fandral? He was the kindest, most loving person in the world and he loved everybody. He didn’t deserve this, he shouldn’t be in a fucking coma. He continued sobbing and Loki handed him some napkins and he took them.

“Oh fuck it.” He heard Loki say and then his brother climbed into the bed with him and wrapped his arms around him. It only made him cry harder but Loki hugged him tighter and he felt grateful. Thor cried until he felt he had no tears left. Then his mother came back, holding a picnic basket filled with various sandwiches, snacks and bottles of soda and water.

“I panicked.” She said and Thor chuckled but then he broke down crying again. Then both his brother and his mother were hugging him. Even though the world was such a terrible place, in this moment he felt loved.

*****

Sif couldn’t tell them much more except Fandral’s injuries. Not only was his head a big, swollen bruise, all his fingers were broken, one broken rib along with three bruised ones and one of his shoulders had been torn out of the socket. Whoever did this wanted Fandral to suffer and Thor wanted to cry again. The police were still looking through Fandral's house and garden for clues. Thor hoped they would find something, he needed someone, _something_ to rage against. Whoever did this would pay. If not by Thor’s hand, then by the law. This went beyond assault and battery. This was torture or attempted murder or something.

Thor and Sif hugged tightly before she left and she promised to come over to his house when she found out more.

Thor had been in the hospital only a few hours but he was already sick and tired of it. He got a second bag of fluids attached to his arm and he complained about it to the nurse, but she ignored him. He was encouraged to move around and he got one of those movable things for his drip. He ate two sandwiches from Frigga's picnic basket and drank a bottle and a half of water. He felt better already, he did. The nurse came back and asked for a urine sample. Thor wanted to get out of there. At least his mother and brother had the decency to leave the room for it.

Only Loki came back in, Frigga went off for a bit to make some calls. Loki peered out into the hallway, then he handed Thor his shoes.

“Put your shoes on, quick.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m getting us to see Fandral.” Loki said in a hushed voice and Thor did as he was told. They snuck out of the room and down the hall towards the elevator. Loki pushed a button, then they sneaked through a few more corridors. As much as Thor could sneak with his damn drip.

And then they were in Fandral's part of the hospital. A policeman sat outside his door, reading a newspaper.

“Damn it.” Loki hissed and looked around for a few moments. He told Thor to be quiet as he pushed him into another room before he left for a few moments. Then the fire alarm went off and people started running up and down the corridor outside, then Loki was back and dragged him towards Fandral’s room, the policeman was gone, and they snuck inside.

Thor gasped. Fandral was wrapped in bandages, looking like a mummy from a 30’s movie. All you could see were his eyes and his mouth. It didn’t even look like him. Loki held a hand against his back to support him and Thor was grateful. A chair had been pulled close to the bed, probably by Sif and Thor sat in it. He didn’t know if he could touch Fandral anywhere, maybe it would hurt him more if he did? There was a heart monitor beeping regularly but Sif had left out the part where Fandral was hooked up to a breathing machine. Fandral was worse off than she told them. Anger flared inside him but he pushed it down. This was neither the time or the place to get angry.

“Talk to him.” Loki whispered. “Maybe he can hear you.” Loki went over to the door and peered outside, keeping an eye out for other people.

“Hey Fanny.” He started and winced. He knew Fandral hated that nickname but at least it was familiar. Thor could feel his eyes fill up with tears.

“God, look at you.” Thor sniffled. “You’re so... You need to wake up, okay? Come back to us and tell us who did this to you. I will fucking kill them. You can’t die, I won’t let you. You hear me? _I won’t let you_.” Thor finally touched his arm above the cast they had put on his hands, then wiped his eyes with his other hand.

“I don’t even understand why someone would do this to _you_ of all people. You’re a good man, the best of us really. Much better than me.”

“Yes, much better.” Loki piped up from the door and it made Thor chuckle wetly, against his will.

“Shut up, Loki. Yes, if you missed that, Loki is here too. Still the little shit that you remember.”

“I’m standing right here, Thor. Right here.”

“Anyway, Sif told me all your fingers are broken and I hate it because all I want to do right now is hold your hand. So you have to wake up and heal so I can fucking hold your hand, okay? I hate seeing you like this. I wish there was something I could do to help you, I feel so fucking helpless.” His voice cracked at the last word and he started sobbing again. Then Loki was there, his arm around his shoulders for comfort. He cried hard for a few moments and it felt like he had gravel in his eyes.

“You have to live because I don’t know what I would do without you. I’m not ready for you to not be here, okay? You have to follow the plan, remember? We separated for college because we had to, but as soon as we finish it, we’ll get jobs. And we’ll buy houses next to each other and live our lives together, like we were meant to. You know I can’t drive Sif insane on my own, I need you here, you hear me?” Thor stroked his hand up ad down Fandral's arm.

“And I love you. You’re my brother. Maybe not biologically but in every other sense. You... Our little group simply wouldn’t survive without you, Fandral. You’re the heart.” Loki sniffled at his side and hugged his shoulders tighter. That set Thor off again and he started crying again.

“I thought I told you to stay out of trouble.” A male voice said behind them and they turned to it. It was that police officer that took Thor in after the fight at Fandral's house.

“Officer O'Neill!” Thor said, and Loki frowned. He had no idea who the man was, he just saw the police uniform.

“You boys are in so much trouble right now. This room is off limits, what don’t you understand about that?” O'Neill came up to them but he didn’t look very angry.

“I’m sorry, I just had to see him. He’s my best friend.”

“Yeah, I heard. He’s your heart and all that. I don’t think I have to remind you of how serious this is. Your buddy is lying here fighting for his life and we don’t know who did it yet so you could very well be a suspect in this case. Personally I don’t think it’s likely, but it’s not up to me to decide that okay?”

“Okay.” Thor nodded and looked at Fandral again. “Can I say goodbye?”

“Yes. Just this once, then you and I are gonna have a talk.” O'Neill took a few steps back and let them have some privacy. But Thor didn’t know what to say so he just leaned over his friend and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, next to the breathing tube.

“You always said I was a Disney prince come to life, now you be a goddamn Disney princess and wake the fuck up.” He said and then they were led back to Thor’s room by Jack O'Neill. He yelled at them some more but asked a few questions about Fandral and if they knew of someone who would want to hurt him, but they couldn’t think of anyone. Fandral didn't have any enemies.

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama continues. And maybe some fluffy stuff?

Thor was allowed to leave the hospital the next day. He felt a whole lot better and all tests came back clear so he was good to go. The big surprise was that Odin was at home when they got back to the house. He did look apologetic but not nearly enough, so Thor only greeted him with a hello before he went to his bedroom. Despite feeling okay, he was still tired of everything right now so even though it was early in the day, he crawled under the covers and fell asleep.

When he woke up again it was dark outside and he had a face full of hair. Soft locks smelling of apples. Loki was snoring away, his face smooth and a small smile on his lips. The bruise at his mouth still pissed Thor off. Erik better stay the fuck away from both of them in the future, cousin or not. Thor went through the events of what happened and kept coming up with different scenarios, some where he did more damage than he had. In some he told Erik that he was Bisexual so what was he gonna do now, huh? But his favorite was when he set Loki on him for five minutes, with his knife. No stabbing, but scaring. His brother would’ve loved that, he thought fondly and snorted.

“Why are you snorting air on my neck? I was sleeping, you ass.” Loki grumped and shoved an elbow into Thor’s gut, and Thor laughed instead and pressed his forehead to the back of his brother’s head.

“Sorry.” He said. “Just woke up and you were here in my arms. Thought about different endings for our cousin.”

“ _Your_ cousin. Uncle Ve is Odin’s brother, therefore Erik is not my cousin. Ha.”

Thor hugged him close for a minute before his stomach growled loudly.

“We better get some food in you before you go and faint again, grandma.”

“Shut up.” Thor pushed him away and got to his feet. The room did spin a little but nothing he couldn’t handle. Loki followed him to the kitchen and made himself a cup of tea as Thor made a couple of sandwiches. He was in boxers and a T-shirt just like Thor. Actually exactly like Thor, that was his T-shirt he was wearing. Shirt- stealing brat.

“Hey, that’s my shirt.”

“And you’re what? Shocked and disappointed?” Loki said just as the neck hole slid to the side and bared a shoulder.

“More like pleased and a bit turned on.” Creamy skin within his reach and Thor wanted to put his mouth there and taste him. Thor listened for noises but heard nothing so he did exactly that. Loki snorted and shook his head.

“You’re impossible.”

“Only because you made me. Hey I have a question.” He sat down again, munching away at a sandwich.

“Okay.”

“When are you gonna do the next video?” Loki snorted tea out of his nose and Thor chuckled as he took another bite of the sandwich. He rinsed it down with some chocolate milk and waited for Loki’s reply. After Loki wiped his face with a tissue and cleaned the counter off with a rag, he did. 

“I don’t know. I want to wait until my bruise is gone. I only show the lower half of my face, that’s kind of my thing. I mean, what if Erik or Sven watch one of my vids, they would know it’s me. I don’t want that.”

“Erik the big phobe watches gay porn?”

“Of course. He’s _so_ gay, Thor. He just doesn’t know it yet. Or he knows but overcompensates with the brute. Of course he watches gay porn. Probably jerking off to it too.”

“I see. And Sven?” Thor really tried to stay serious but couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Long gone were the days when they talked about movies and how much a certain teacher sucked or how math made absolutely no sense. Now it was gay porn, whether their cousins were gay, and when Loki would post another video of him pleasuring himself online so strangers could drool over him while wanking off. Perhaps it was weird but he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

“Oh my God, he’s so uncertain of himself. I think he’s just realized he’s maybe not a hundred percent straight but I don’t know if he’s gay or bi or something else. He slapped my naked ass, but I don’t think he realized just how serious that was. I didn’t feel malice from him though, I think he actually may be a good guy, at heart.”

“Then it was even meaner what you did to him.”

“What?”

“Let’s say Sven _is_ unsure of his sexuality, then you actually _make_ him eat carpet.” Thor said and waited. Loki stared at him in silence for a few moments before he closed his eyes and sighed.

“You did not just make that joke.”

“Sorry! The joke was right there, I couldn’t just leave it!”

“Yes you could have! In fact you _should_ have, it was so lame.”

“Whatever you say Mr. sticky situation.”

“That was funny though.”

“It was _so_ lame.”

They went back to Thor’s bedroom poking fun of each other’s lameness.

*****

Just over a week later, Thor got a call from Jack O'Neill and he wanted to see both him and Loki down at the station. They could bring their parents if they wanted but Thor declined. Jack explained they weren’t suspects they just wanted to talk to see if maybe they could give some information to help with the case.

It didn’t take long to grab Loki and go down to the precinct. O’Neill greeted them both and led them into a small office. This one even had a window. And that other guy with glasses were there, Daniel Jackson, guarding a box with different things from Fandral's garden. Bags and bags of potential evidence. They got started and Thor and Loki told them what they knew about the different stuff they were shown.

There was a heart-shaped stone with a metal band placed in the middle, engraved with just a date. Thor had to explain that it was sort of a gravestone for Fandral's parents, they died in a plane crash just a couple of years ago and there were no bodies to bury. So, Fandral had that stone made in remembrance of them. Just talking about it, and realizing where Fandral was right now, was quite upsetting and Thor was on the verge of crying again. They hadn’t heard anything from Sif since the hospital and while Thor put on a brave face, he was scared shitless. Losing Fandral was just too unfathomable.

They were nearing the end of the bags containing evidence and Jack held up a bag with a couple of cigarette butts. Loki went very still beside him. He asked to hold the bag and looked closer at them, reading the brand on the filter. He handed the bag back to O’Neill and took a deep breath. He looked paler.

“That’s Charlie’s. I mean, that’s the brand he smokes.”

“Charlie?” Jack frowned and looked over to Thor. “Isn’t that the guy that-”

“Yes.” Loki replied in Thor’s stead. “It’s the same guy.”

“How do _you_ know him? I thought Thor was the one who had a history with him?”

“He’s my... ex, I guess?” 

“You guess? I suddenly get the feeling that there is more to Thor’s story than he let on before. Why don’t you guys tell the truth this time. And I mean the whole truth and nothing but.” Jack looked between them and he was not joking or especially friendly now. There was the hard-ass Thor remembered from when he was brought in. It wasn’t his story to tell so he turned to look at his brother. Loki nodded and took a deep breath before he told the story. All of it. Daniel Jackson scribbled it down into a tiny laptop.

“So, you’re the one who called the police on them that night? Yeah, there were a couple of arrests made for drugs and things that shouldn’t take place in an old barn, let’s just put it that way.” Daniel said.

“So, you _did_ have another reason for beating the guy down during your friend’s party.” O’Neill stated and Thor told him what had really happened, the words exchanged and all the way to when he was taken away. Both policemen nodded, Daniel writing every word down.

“Okay boys. Thank you for your help with this. We’ll be in touch. Call us if you can think of anything. Even the smallest detail can have a significant meaning. Get out of here.”

Then they were let go. Thor managed to drive them home, and they told their mom where they had been. She asked a few questions and it ended with Loki giving up and telling her about Charlie, why Thor had been in a fight that night at Fandral’s place. She held him to her chest and kissed his hair over and over, calling him her sweet boy. Loki was embarrassed but still smiling through it. Their father was away to his office in the city to get some work done and it felt so typical. They asked Frigga what was going on with them but she just shrugged, telling them to ask her again in a few days.

The phone rang and Thor answered, not recognizing the number.

“Hello?”

“Thor? It’s Sif.” She sniffled on the line and Thor’s stomach dropped. Frigga and Loki quieted when they saw his face.

“Fandral?” he asked and she sniffled harder. Tears started rolling down his cheeks again. He wasn’t ready for this.

“Yeah. I’m at the hospital right n- now. They called me in. Thor he’s... he’s awake. They just took the breathing tube out.”

“Oh my God!” Thor breathed, he felt like he could finally breathe. “I’ll be there as fast as I can!” He hung up and hugged his mother and brother, yelling that Fandral was awake. They cheered and Frigga sat down, hand to her chest. Loki wanted to come with so Thor let him.

They got to the hospital and ran all the way from the entrance, through the corridors, to Fandral’s room. There was still a policeman outside but he let them pass after they told him who they were.

“Fandral!” Thor busted in. His bed was raised so he was half sitting.

“Thor.” He croaked, his voice was like sandpaper. “You don’t happen to have anything I can drink with you, do you?” Sif laughed and explained that there had been nurses by but they had been very busy so no one had thought to bring water, neither did the doctor. And Sif didn’t want to leave him alone, especially now.  
Loki stepped forward and held forward a plastic cup of what looked like water, there was even a straw in it.

“Where the hell did you get _that_?!” Thor asked. 

“I saw it on a tray we ran past. I thought Fandral might be thirsty so I took it.” He shrugged, like it was nothing. Sif and Thor just looked at each other. Fandral started to laugh but it turned into _ow_ and _stop_ and _ow_ _shit_.

“Thanks, Loki.” Fandral said as Loki put the straw to his lips. 

“Anytime.”

They all relaxed and then Fandral confirmed what they suspected. It  _was_ Charlie that attacked him, he and two of his friends.

“They were looking for you.” Fandral said and met Thor’s gaze head on.

“What? Why _me_?”

“Charlie don’t know you’re Loki’s brother, he thinks you’re his new boyfriend. He wants revenge for you beating him into a bloody pulp and for taking Loki away from him. Charlie knew I knew you so he came to my house, demanding I give him your address. I refused.”

“Fandral, you idiot. You should have given it to him. Then called me to warn me, and I don’t know, maybe the police?” Thor stroked his arm like he did the last time. 

“I didn’t think that far ahead. I just knew I would never let him hurt my friend.”

“He almost killed mine instead.” Thor sniffled.

“Oh, please don’t. Emotional Thor is something I’m not prepared for. Angry Thor and Drunk Thor are okay but soft, emotional Thor is too much.” Fandral was moved though, even if he played it off with humor. But Sif laughed out loud and Thor had to too.

“Asshole.” He said and placed a kiss on Fandral’s bandaged forehead.

“Ow.” Fandral replied. 

“We have to stop him.” Loki said out of the blue. They all looked at him. “Charlie. We have to stop him from doing whatever he’s planning. He almost killed Fandral, he can’t get that chance with Thor.”

“Yeah.” Sif said. “For once I agree with you. We have to tell the police.”

“We have to make sure he goes to prison.” Loki continued. “We have to ensure- Excuse me.” Loki excused himself from the room when his phone rang. It must be important if he answered the phone at this time.

“Oh, by the way. Mom says you'll have to come over soon for a barbecue.” Thor said and Fandral perked up.

“Will she make her own coleslaw?”

“If you come over she will make you anything you want.” Thor smiled at his friend. Frigga's cooking was something that Fandral had always treasured during their friendship. He always complimented her cooking or baking, asking for recipes and that’s probably why he was Frigga’s favorite of Thor’s friends.

“Well then sign me up. Can we go now?” Fandral jokingly tried to sit up but stopped.

“Okay, ow. Why did you let me do that?” He looked at Sif and she opened her mouth in sheer insult.

Thor smiled at his friends. Charlie would get caught soon and he would pay. Of that, Thor was sure.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just 3000+ words of smut, and some fluff, in the calm before the storm. Hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking that maybe it's time to finish this fic and put it to rest soon! It will probably be just a few more chapters, not sure how many tough. Probably 2 or 3 more.  
> Thanks for all the love people! ♥

It was unnerving, waiting for something to happen. The police had questioned Fandral and he told them everything he knew and a plan was being made. But it took time, the police couldn’t find Charlie or his goons, so all they could do was wait. Loki and Thor stayed inside the house as much as they could and it was unnerving. No running around the block for Thor, no hanging out with friends for either of them. Friends could visit them, but only for a little while so they weren’t put in danger just in case something happened. They knew something was gonna happen but not when. The police kept watch on their house which also made everything feel uncomfortable. Thor wanted to touch his brother, hold him close, kiss him and maybe a little snuggle here and there, but considering the situation it was probably not a good idea. Which, of course, is why he woke up to Loki straddling him in the middle of the night.

“What-” He started but was quickly silenced by his brother’s mouth against his.

“Shh.” was all Loki said and started kissing his way down Thor’s chest, pulling off the covers completely, leaving Thor in only his boxers.

He nibbled the nipples, making them hard before moving downwards, kissing and mouthing his way down Thor’s abs. How Loki thought Thor would be able to keep completely silent, he didn’t know. Then his underwear was pulled off and his brother’s hands carefully stroked his cock a few times, before it was engulfed in the wet heat of Loki’s mouth.

“Unf.”

“I said sh.” Loki whispered before sucking Thor’s cock until he was rock hard, then pulled off and licked the head, then below the head and then down Thor’s shaft to his balls. Thor spread his legs wider to give Loki better access and his brother took advantage of that. After he gently played with Thor’s balls for a few moments, he pushed Thor’s thighs even wider and upwards. He was about to ask what Loki was doing but suddenly there was a tongue licking over his hole.

“Oh.” He’d never been licked there. He’d touched his hole a few times with a finger when he jerked off but never inserting them but it didn’t feel anything like this. This was better. Loki licked up and down his crack a few times, just passing over his opening but quickly centered his attention to Thor’s entrance. His tongue circled him making him wet before pushing against the opening. Thor did his best to relax but couldn’t stop a whimper slipping over his lips. His ass clenched at the intrusion but Loki’s tongue worked him relentlessly and all of a sudden the tongue breached him.

“Oh fuck.” Thor breathed and grabbed hold of his own legs to help keep himself open for Loki’s... everything. Anything he wanted, as long as he didn’t stop. It was better than Thor ever thought it would be.

“I thought I told you to shut up.” Loki hissed as he pulled his tongue out.

“Can’t help it.” Thor moaned. Loki moved around, then there was a pillow on Thor’s face. He snickered as he took hold of it but it changed into a moan as Loki was back at his task of licking into Thor’s ass. He pressed the pillow to his face and did his best to hide his sounds. The tip of Loki’s tongue played around his opening before diving in again and Thor whimpered again. He tried to widen his legs even more but he couldn’t, he was as open as he could be. His brother seemed to enjoy it a lot too, humming here and moaning there as his tongue opened Thor more and more.

“Hey I have another idea.” Loki whispered and tapped Thor’s thigh.

“Muhwha?”

“Get on your knees.”

Thor obeyed and Loki helped spread his legs wide again and pushed his shoulders down into the bed and ass up in the air. Loki used his hands to spread Thor’s butt cheeks, then Loki’s tongue was back and Thor hurriedly turned his face into the pillow and gasped as more of his brother’s tongue entered him. His cock was so hard and he wanted to touch himself but he gripped the pillow instead. He didn’t want to come yet, this was too lovely.

“More.” He panted and Loki hummed against him before pulling back.

“Don’t move.” He hissed before he climbed off the bed and disappeared for a few moments. When he came back, Thor saw he had a bottle of lube and a little box.

“What’s that?”

“Pleasure.” Loki smirked and Thor knew he was fucked. Or would be, by one of Loki’s little “friends” probably. He’d never tried any of that on his own but he would let Loki have a go. Judging by his videos he knew what he was doing so if Loki said pleasure it would most definitely mean _pleasure_. Loki got behind him again and licked into him a few more times, making Thor moan into the pillow again, pushing his ass back towards his brother, silently asking for more.

Loki clicked the lid open on the bottle. Thor heard him lube a finger and then it was at his hole. It slid into him easily but further than Loki’s tongue had. It felt strange, but not necessarily in a bad way. Loki moved his finger in and out of him, turning it around, lubing hiss ass nicely.

“More.” Thor said again and Loki breached him with two fingers. It stung a little but it was okay, then it turned really good. Loki scissored and twisted his fingers then bent them and pushed and Thor almost yelped. He wasn’t prepared for how good it would feel to have someone press against his prostate. God, he could feel his own cock leaking already. Loki continued massaging the spot, turning Thor into what felt like a sweaty, boneless heap.

“Fuck, I love you like this, Thor. So wanton and needy. You really like this, don’t you?” It made Thor snort between his mewling sounds.

“What makes you think that? My leaking cock, my ass in the air or me asking for more?”

“You know what? With that attitude, I have to go all Naughty Boy on you.”

“Huh?”

Then Thor felt something other than Loki’s fingers at his entrance. It was smooth but bigger and Thor felt every inch of it as Loki pushed it inside. Thor was grateful for the pillow at his face because he had to breathe through his teeth as the toy slid deeper and deeper inside him. It was quite slim at the tip but widened a bit after a couple of inches. When he hissed, Loki stroked his cock a few times and paused the insertion and fucked him shallowly with the tip of the toy, sliding it back and forth. As Thor relaxed again, Loki pushed it even further in.

“Loki, please.”

“Almost there.” His brother said and then the toy thinned out again and he felt another part of the toy press against his perineum, really snug and tight. Thor breathed heavily, and was gonna say something but Loki pulled at his limbs and managed to turn Thor over to his back again.

“Sit up against the headboard.”

Thor did and okay, the toy was pressing against his prostate continuously and also massaging the area between his ass and his balls. His ass did feel a bit sore but not enough to stop whatever would happen. Loki arranged both Thor’s pillows behind his back and then climbed into his lap. Loki’s cock was also hard, leaving a wet trail as it dragged along Thor’s stomach.

“Looks like I’m not the only one who likes it.”

“Can you blame me when you beg so prettily?”

“I didn’t _beg_.”

“I do believe you said _Loki, please._ That’s begging, dear brother.” Then Loki gyrated his hips and dragged his cock over Thor’s own. Before Thor could gasp Loki’s mouth was on his, swallowing every sound he made. Loki then moved like he was riding Thor’s cock and oh god, the toy inside him pushed harder against his prostate. Loki repeated the motion and Thor felt like his cock only grew harder and harder, even though it was impossible.

“Jesus.” He groaned against Loki’s lips.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“So good. Fuck.” They kissed before Loki leaned forward and nibbled on Thor’s ear.

“What would you say if I told you it could feel even better?” He said in that special tone of voice that sent shivers down Thor’s spine.

“I’m not sure that’s possible.” Thor replied and Loki giggled and gently bit Thor on the neck. He reached between them, and Thor thought he was gonna jerk him off but he reached lower, down to Thor’s ass, feeling around for the toy.

“Now brother, I need you to keep as quiet as possible.” Loki said before putting his other hand over Thor’s mouth. “I think you’re probably gonna come pretty quick too.” Loki smiled and licked his lips before the hand over Thor’s mouth tightened its hold. Loki’s other hand gently felt over the toy’s tip and then pushed. Thor’s hips jerked as the toy started vibrating inside him.

“Hmph!” Was all the sound he could make. Loki started moving his hips, sliding their cocks together at the same time as he also moved up and down in Thor’s lap, causing Thor’s body to press down onto the toy again and again. The vibrations, dear God the vibrations! He could feel them through his whole body. Loki quickly moved his hand down again and pushed the toy again, increasing the vibrations and Thor whimpered loudly through his nose. Loki took away the hand over his mouth and replaced it with his lips, licking into him repeatedly and Thor groaned around his tongue. His hips moved on their own, seeking more friction from above but still wanting to fuck down onto the toy to get it deeper. He grabbed Loki’s hips and held them pressed against each other, feeling every time Loki moved his cock over Thor’s.

“Fuck. Imagine us doing this again but with your cock buried inside me.” Loki gasped against his lips and wrapped his arms around Thor’s shoulders, rocking his hips faster. Damn Loki and his damn words. Thor grabbed Loki’s hair into one hand and pulled him even closer making their teeth clash as his cock pulsed between them, shooting his come all the way up to his own chin. His cock shot pulse after pulse of white, hot come over his stomach and chest. The orgasm was so powerful he wanted to bend in half.

“Loki.” Thor sucked his brother’s tongue and then Loki went rigid against him and there was another stream of come on his belly, mixing with his own spend. They kissed deeply once before Thor had to pull away. He was quickly becoming very aware that the vibrating inside him Was starting to turn from pleasure to hurt.

“Loki, fuck. They toy, turn it off, turn it off.” He lifted his hips from the bed which shifted the toy and okay, better but it was still too much. Loki clicked the button on it and it changed speed another 5 times before it finally clicked off. Thor hissed as Loki slowly slid it out of him and dropped it to the floor. Thor knew he would definitely feel sore in the morning.

Suddenly a loud knock on his door and his heart almost stopped.

“Thor, are you okay?” It was their mother.

“Uh, yeah?”

“I thought you were in pain, you were groaning so loud. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes mom, it’s just... stomach pains.” Loki snorted and hid his face in Thor’s chest and his shoulders started shaking from laughter.

“Should I call the doctor?”

“No! I’ll be fine, I’ll just uh, try to go back to sleep.”

“Okay baby. If you need to go to the hospital, just let me know, okay?”

“Okay, thanks mom.” Then her steps receded down the hallway to her own room and Thor could finally breathe. Loki laughed out loud and Thor pushed him off of his lap to the other side of the bed before pulling a pillow from behind his back and beat him with it a few times. He picked up his own T-shirt and wiped himself clean. Then he lied down next to his brother and they smiled at each other.

“I’ve been thinking.” Loki said.

“That can’t be good.”

“Shut up. Anyway I’ve been thinking about you and me. You know, what we do.”

“Okay. And?”

“And I mean what I said before, when we were in Sven’s bed. I want you to be my first. To fuck me, I mean.”

“Loki, that’s... are you sure?” Thor very much wanted to do that, he definitely wanted to fuck Loki. The fact that he would be Loki’s first made it even more tantalizing.

“I’m sure. I’ve given it a lot of thought and I just can’t imagine it being anyone else but you. And-” Loki almost seemed shy all of a sudden. Thor kissed the tip of his nose.

“I would be honored.” He said and Loki smiled wide.

“I didn’t tell you the rest of it.”

“There’s more?”

“Maybe. Um... I want you to do it. Live. On the site.”

“ _What_? You want strangers to see your first time? What if something goes wrong?”

“I trust you.”

“What if- if I say your real name or-or I hurt you and-”

“I trust you, Thor. Stop panicking.”

Thor looked at his brother and Loki looked calm as a calm... something calm.

“But why online?”

“Thor, do you realize how much money I could make from that one video? How much _we_ could make?”

“Is that what it’s about? Making money?”

“One reason, yes. Also, you know the videos will be online until I take them down. We could relive it over and over watching ourselves. The video we did last time looked great. _We_ looked great together.” Loki took Thor’s hands into his, lacing their fingers together.

“Oh my God, you _watched_ it?”

“Of course. I’ve gotten a lot of comments on it and people want to see more. They loved you.”

“They did?” Loki rolled his eyes at that.

“Of course they loved you. You’re very pleasing to the eyes and you have such a big cock people said they’d love to gag on it themselves.”

“ _What_? They- Oh I get it. You’re teasing me.” Thor smiled.

“Sure... Anyway. I was thinking I could set a limit of $50 minimum for my followers. That money would go a long way. Even if just a thousand people watch it, that’s $50.000 dollars. Minus taxes of course.”

“You pay taxes?”

“Of course, it’s an income. Is that really what you take away from that? I pay taxes, not the amount of money that could be made?”

“Right. Sorry. Can I ask something? I don’t want you to get angry, I’m just curious.”

“What?”

“How and why did you even begin making these kind of videos?”

“Money. I needed some extra, Odin and mom wouldn't lend me any and En Dwi Gast was out of the country and I couldn’t reach him. So I created this profile. Actually I made another profile first but it got suspended.”

“You what? When?”

“When I was fifteen.”

“ _What_?!”

“It got suspended after almost a year. But I managed to make some money before someone reported me because they thought I looked too young. And I mean, they were right. But after that I made up Luscious on another site after a while, with a whole new set of pics and a new persona.”

“Oh. What did you need the extra cash for?”

“A birthday gift. Someone very dear to me turned eighteen and I wanted to give them something special.”

“Aw that’s so sweet. What was it?”

“Is that important?”

“Yes! If you took your clothes off to make money that young it must have been pretty important to _you_. That makes it important to me.” And Thor had to admit he was a little jealous about someone else being that important to his brother.

“Fine. It was a large stone with a sword in it. It was their favorite story from childhood, in both book form and the animated movie. And I know they still watch the movie at least once a year. He loves that story. You know, only one worthy enough to pull the sword out of the stone and branded a King. And on the sword I had an inscription made.”

“Higitus figitus zumba kazing” Thor said. He remembered that. It was the best gift he’d gotten. He thought Loki had gotten money from their parents for it, because Thor knew how expensive it was. It cost over $2000 back then. Thor still had it, in his closet.

“Yeah. So yeah, it was important to me.”

“Loki, I would have been happy with something else.”

“I know. But not _as_ happy. I wanted to give you something you might want instead of need. I know you got a lot of gifts you needed that day.”

“And I only loved one gift.” Thor felt moved. He’d done enough crying these past few weeks but his eyes still stung with tears. He pulled Loki into his arms and kissed his temple. His brother basically sold himself online to afford Thor’s birthday gift. Why had their parents said no to him? He almost wanted them to find out what Loki did online and feel guilty about it for a damn long time.

“I just wish you didn’t have to do _that_ to afford it.”

“Thor?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we sleep now?”

“Of course, baby.” Thor used whatever strength he had left and maneuvered them both snugly under the covers. Loki had his back pressed to Thor’s chest and Thor nosed through his hair like he used to when he had the chance. Loki pulled his legs up until he was in a fetal position, then sighed. He reached back for Thor’s arm and pulled it to around his waist. Then he seemed to relax and his breathing evened out.

“I love you.” Thor whispered into his neck. In reply Loki snored softly.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor was about to leave the kitchen when every hair on his arms rose and a chill slithered down his spine. He was being watched, he knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay in updating this. This was more difficult to write so it took longer than I expected. I hope you'll like it.
> 
> Again, THANK YOU for all the kudos and comments and bookmarks on this! You guys make me blush! ^_^

Once again Thor woke up alone and he absolutely hated it. The one night Loki was there when he woke up was great. He wanted that again. No, wait. He wanted _more_ than that. Waking up, stretching, feeling his brother’s skin against him. The smell of him. Maybe exchanging little kisses, complaining about morning breath but still happily kissing. Just being happy.

He stretched out on the bed and groaned as a few joints popped. Yup, he definitely felt sore in certain areas, but it made him smile. He’d had one of the most intense orgasms last night and it was almost like his body was still singing from it.

Thunder rolled in the distance and Thor realized it was raining outside. Good, they needed rain, their lawn was going yellow in a few patches. He left the bed and opened his window and took a few deep breaths. It didn’t smell quite right and his stomach felt like it tied in a hundred knots. Something was off.

He quickly dressed and peeked into Loki’s room before he went downstairs. Loki wasn’t in his room and it was still pretty early in the day so Loki should be in his bed snoring away.

“Loki?” No answer. There were no answers when he called out for his parents either. In the kitchen he found a note from his mom saying she went to the store to get groceries. Thor shrugged. Maybe his dad and brother went with her? He opened the fridge and yup, that wasn’t right. The light stayed off. He realized how quiet it was, no machines humming anywhere. So their power was off. The fuse box was in the cellar, wasn’t it? Thor was about to leave the kitchen when every hair on his arms rose and a chill slithered down his spine. He was being watched, he knew it. Every instinct told him to run but instead he turned around to look out the window. And there he was, on their porch. Him and the glowing end of his cigarette. _Charlie_.

He found them at last. But why were there no police barging in and arresting him if their house was being watched by them? Thor felt his stomach slowly dropping lower and lower. Their power wasn’t out by accident, was it? Which meant their landline wouldn’t work. And Thor had left his cellphone on the nightstand next to his bed. Fuck.

Charlie tilted his head to the side, just watching Thor while he kept on smoking. It started to freak Thor out. He was sure Charlie had done something to Loki, he must have. Thor had a decision to make. Either run outside and try to find his brother, or run upstairs to get his phone and call the police. Jack O’Neill had given him all his numbers. He could do it. But where were Charlie’s buddies? Thor highly doubted Charlie would do this without help. His instincts still screamed at him to run so he decided to go with that and started turning towards the hallway but before he could take a step, something hard hit him in the face and he went down.

He didn’t pass out but the pain in his entire head made him a little slow and disoriented. Strong hands gripped his arms and then he was dragged towards the kitchen door. Two people. Did Charlie have any more goons around? Thor forced himself to open his eyes too see every detail but he wished he hadn’t. Barely out the door he saw Odin lying face down on the porch. A pool of blood was under his head and Thor pulled at the arms holding him, trying to get free to check if his father was still alive. They hit him over the head again and Thor felt dizzy but fought to stay awake. Who knew what they would do if he passed out? They dragged him down the stairs and into the backyard, towards the tree-house. Gosh, he had only been in there once since Loki got it for his birthday and now he might die in there?

To his surprise, they didn’t take him inside it but dropped him right outside of it. He groaned as he hit the ground. It may be grass and softer than pavement but that didn’t mean it wasn’t hard to land on. And at the moment, it was quite muddy. Charlie mumbled something to the goons, then stepped inside the tree-house. It didn’t take long until Loki was brought outside. Thor was pulled to his knees while Loki was pushed down to his. They were face to face. Blood slowly trickled from Loki’s nose and his hands were tied behind his back. Anger flared inside him and the skies grew even darker. Thor’s arms were bent behind his back and they tied his hands together too.

“Loki, are you okay?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.” He smirked at the goons and they slapped him across the face. Thor fought against his restraints while yelling at the bastards they would die for that, and he felt it give a little. These guys had no idea what they were doing, did they? Newbies. Though in this moment he should be more thankful for that than criticize their inability to tie a goddamn rope. Thor slowly moved his wrists back and forth to loosen it even further. It went slow but he could feel it working. He would wring their necks.

“Isn’t this nice? Still defending his little beau.” Charlie dropped the cigarette butt between them and it went out immediately in the wet grass. Wait, he called Loki his little beau? He still hadn’t figured it out?

“He still doesn’t know?” Thor asked Loki and Loki shook his head.

“Nope. He’s just that stupid I guess.” Charlie slapped Loki hard so his head snapped to the side with it.

“Every time you hit him I’ll give you ten in return.” Thor snarled.

“Oh, is that right?” Charlie punched Loki three times in a row until Loki fell over to his side, then whistled when his knuckles were painted red. “Oh my God, look at that, it looks so pretty.” Loki’s teeth were red with blood and Thor growled. Charlie’s buddies raised Loki to his knees again.

“You’ll pay for that.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” His goons cackled as Charlie smacked Loki in the face with an open palm. Charlie laughed as Loki hissed in pain. They all stopped when instead of crying, Loki started laughing.

“What the hell are you laughing at, bitch?” Charlie frowned.

“You. Thor isn’t my boyfriend, you idiot.”

“Right, of course. He just spent the night here because he’s your bestie.”

“No, he spent the night here because he lives here. My God, what is it like in your tiny brain?”

“He moved in with you?”

Thor started laughing at that. Charlie really didn’t get it yet. They would have to spell it out, didn’t they?

“Stop laughing, princess, or Loki gets it.” Charlie went to the side of the tree-house and brought forth a crowbar. Well that wasn’t good. _Shit_. Thor was great in fistfights but fighting with tools were really not his thing. The thunder was even closer now and Thor could smell _the thing_ again and he knew the weather would take a turn for the worse. Like lightnings and crashing thunder- worse.

“Look, your obsession with Loki has gone too far, okay?”

“Has it now? Are you the jealous type, Thor?”

“Sometimes. But this isn’t jealousy. This is me staggering at your idiocy. I live here and I have lived here for most of my life. And so has Loki.”

Charlie’s goons frowned at each other and their faces cleared when they understood what Thor was saying. But Charlie kept frowning at him, not understanding the implications. Thor sighed and his shoulders slumped.

“He’s my brother, you absolute dimwit.” Charlie kept frowning at him for a few moments before his forehead smoothed out. He laughed.

“Oh okay. He’s your brother now? I see. Because you wouldn’t say that just to confuse me.” Thor and Loki’s eyes met and they both raised their eyebrows, stunned at how stupid this guy was.

“Send one of your sidekicks into the living room. There is a family photo hanging above the fireplace. You’ll see we’re not lying.” Loki said and Charlie studied him for a few seconds before nodding to one of his cronies. The guy went off to get the photo.

The raining increased and there was a loud thunderclap, making everyone but Thor jump. He knew what was coming. They were all soaked to the bone. Loki’s hair laid plastered against his head and he looked paler than usual. No wonder though, Thor didn’t know what was done to him before he got there. Thunder rumbled through the sky again. Loki turned his face to the sky and closed his eyes, letting the raindrops wash his blood away. He looked almost ethereal, so beautiful. Thor wished he could lean over and kiss him.

“Oh yeah, that’s exactly how you look at your _brother_.” Charlie said and looked pleased with himself. “I knew it. Loki smelled like sex when we got him and I now realize that you guys smell exactly alike. If you really are brothers, can you explain that?” He grinned menacingly as he started swinging the crowbar here and there, like he was testing the weight of it. He swung it too close to Loki’s head.

“Stop that. If you hurt him again, you’re gonna die.” Thor threatened. Charlies goon hit him so hard he saw stars and he keeled over, landing on his side. That hurt. His hands were almost loose from the rope and Thor pulled at them harder. He started panicking as he saw the other guy come out from the house and walk back towards them, carrying the photo in is hands. Crap. Charlie would _know_.

“If you hurt Thor again, I'm gonna stab you through the fucking hand!” Loki yelled. Charlie and Thor’s attacker laughed and Thor looked towards the approaching goon again.

“That would be a neat trick.” Charlie’s buddy replied to Loki, then he kicked Thor in the gut. Thor couldn’t breathe and he coughed when he tried. Everything went white with the first lightning. Thor counted to ten before the thunderclap hit. They needed to get inside and soon, it would be right above them in just a few minutes. While Thor loved thunderstorms and loved opening his window to it, or sometimes enjoyed it from the roofed part of the porch, he didn’t want to be outside when it hit. He closed his eyes to try and stop the nausea that came over him like a tidal wave. Thor almost jumped out of his skin when his abuser suddenly screamed. Thor’s eyes snapped open and the guy was kneeling on the ground next to him, with a knife going right through one of his hands. Even through the heavy rain, he could the inscription on the handle. _Loki_.

His brother was loose! If they tied him as badly as they tied Thor’s hands then no wonder. Thor tugged on the rope again and finally it gave. His stomach still hurt like hell every time he drew breath but he needed to be by his brothers side. The other goon dropped the family photo and ran the last bit over the lawn to help Charlie who was now swinging the crowbar at Loki with intent, while he and Loki were circling on each other. Thor kept his hands behind his back as he managed to rise to his feet. The goon was gonna run past him towards Loki, so Thor stuck out a leg to trip him and grabbed him by the neck and pushed him down towards the ground. The guy groaned as he landed on his face before he passed out. These guys were amateurs. Had they never seen an action movie?

Thor chuckled but stopped when he heard Loki gasp in pain as the crowbar hit him over the ribs. Before Thor even had the time to react, Charlie punched Loki in the face with the other hand, and Loki went down. The bastard raised the crowbar into the air for another whack but Thor threw himself on him, tackling him to the ground. Lightning struck and it only went three seconds before the thunder crashed through the air. Thor and Charlie rolled around on the ground, fighting for the crowbar while hitting each other where they could reach. They were both slippery from the rain and the crowbar slipped between their hands every now and then.

Loki got up and took a step towards them but Thor screamed at him to get inside the tree-house and for once, he did as he was told. But yelling at Loki divided Thor’s attention and it gave Charlie the upper hand. Thor felt his nose break when the crowbar hit him in the face. Charlie cackled maniacally and managed to straddle Thor across his chest. He hit Thor with a fist, in the face again and Thor saw stars as his head spun. God, he was either gonna pass out or die.

Another body hit Charlie and he was thrown backwards, off of Thor. Loki didn’t listen after all, damn him. Loki was screaming something in Charlie’s face as they both fought for dominance. Charlie held the crowbar in one hand but Loki held on to it with one of his hands, stopping him from using it. Loki’s other hand held the second knife, pointing the sharp tip towards Charlies chest, but Charlie’s other hand stopped him. Loki growled, baring his teeth and he tried to weigh his body down over the knife, but Charlie was physically stronger. They were in a deadlock.

Thor really tried to get up but his body was so heavy and the world was still spinning. He tasted blood, both from the mouth and the fact that it slipped back into his throat from his nose. He almost gagged. Thor managed to roll to his side just in time to see the stabbed-in-the-hand guy rise to his feet and kick Loki in the ribs. It was almost funny since the knife was still lodged in his hand. His brother fell to the ground and Charlie quickly got to his feet.

“No.” Thor gasped as he tried to sit up. The sky was blinking and Thor didn’t know if it was the lightning or if he was passing out. He wanted to puke. He had to save Loki somehow. He saw Loki planting the other knife in the goons foot and he screamed in pain again. But it left Loki without a weapon, defenseless against Charlie and his goddamn crowbar.

“Gods, please help me.” Thor groaned as he got to his knees. Charlie hit Loki across the chest with the crowbar and his brother cried out and Charlie advanced on him further, now standing above him with one foot on each side of his body. Loki couldn’t escape. _Come on, you goddamn body, he’s killing your brother, you don’t get to sleep with him and then_ _ **not**_ _save him!_ Thor thought and he managed to get one foot under him. His whole body ached. A movement over by the house caught his eye and he wanted to cry in relief. Several policemen were running across the lawn but Thor knew they were too far away to save Loki in time. Why didn’t they draw their weapons?!

“They can’t save you in time! Now no one else will ever have you!” Charlie screamed and raised the crowbar over his head for one last whack. Loki whimpered and he tried to shield his face. Charlie even raised to his toes to make the strike as hard as he could. He was really gonna kill Loki and Thor was just a few steps away from them, unable to help.

“NO!!!” Thor screamed as loud as he could and everything went white around them and the thunder hit at the same time. Thor’s fingertips stung like a really bad burn on a hot stove and his ears popped. He was blinded by the light. Then everything went dark but he was still conscious. Everything was quiet, a little too quiet.

“Loki?” He asked but it felt like he’d just swallowed the whole Sahara desert and he coughed. Also he couldn’t hear himself talk. “Loki?!” He asked louder and he could sort of hear himself but it was muffled as if he was submerged in water. There were hands on his shoulders and then someone hugged him lightly around his waist. He smelled apples. Wet apples. Loki was still alive. _Thank you, Gods!_ He sent the thought up to the heavens. Thor hugged his brother back and tried to open his eyes but he couldn’t.

“Loki, I can’t open my eyes.” He rasped into his brother’s ear. Loki pulled back and said something he couldn’t hear.

“What? I can’t hear you!” He yelled. His brother’s hands cradled his face. He said something again but Thor couldn’t hear him this time either.

“What?”

Then there were other hands at his shoulders and back, then strong arms pushed him downwards and Thor realized he was now on a stretcher. His heart was beating out of his chest, both from adrenaline and being scared shitless about what was happening. But he let the professionals do their work and laid back and let himself be carried away. Wow, the ambulance was very quick today. Loki’s slim hand slipped into his, and they held hands all the way to the hospital and then they were separated. Thor gave in and finally slipped into unconsciousness.

*****

Déjà Vu. His whole body hurt and he felt like he could barely breathe. The room was dark so it must be late. He heard a machine beep somewhere to his right. At least he knew he was in the hospital this time. Someone was talking but he could barely hear them. It was better than it was before but still very muffled. He groaned as he tried to move.

“Thor?” Someone said loudly. It was his mother’s voice.

“Mom?” It felt like a whisper but he must’ve been heard because his mother took his hand into hers, much like Loki had the last time.

“Oh Thor, you’re awake!” She kissed the back of his hand and he felt wet drops hit it. His mother was crying.

“Dad... is he? There was blood...” He couldn’t finish the sentence. Even though his father was a stone cold, annoying son of a bitch, he was still his dad.

“He’s alive. But they hit him so hard in the face he lost an eye. He’s a few floors up.” His mother explained and Thor could relax.

“Loki?”

“He’s alright. He has a couple of fractured ribs and his face is bruised but he’s up and running. Only, he’s running very slowly. Okay, he’s up and walking. Shuffling, really. He went to the cafeteria downstairs to get a soda and something to eat.”

Thor smiled. His mother’s rant was a comfort. But his smile shifted into a grimace soon enough.

“What time is it?”

“It’s three in the afternoon.”

“What? Has it only been a few hours?”

“It’s three in the afternoon two days later, honey.” His mother squeezed his hand.

“Oh. So three in the afternoon huh? Must be bright outside.”

“Yes, it’s beautiful.”

And yet, all Thor saw was darkness. He was blind, he knew. His mother was probably struggling with how she should bring it up.

“Oh, mom. Just tell me I’m blind.” Thor almost sobbed.

“Blind? Oh no, sweetheart! The upper half of your face is bandaged, including your eyes. Can’t you feel it? We don’t know the full extent of the damages yet.”

“Damages? What are you talking about? What the hell happened?”

“You don’t remember?”

“No. Well yes, but I just know there was a bright light and then I couldn’t see or hear anything.”

“Oh, darling. You were struck by lightning.”

“I was what?” That was just crazy. If he had been struck by lightning, he would have died. And the lightning should have hit the tallest thing around, which was the tree-house, or either of the apple trees.

“HIT BY LIGHTNING!” A male voice yelled. “Oh my God, Thor, did you get stupid as well as almost deaf?”

“Fandral is that you?” Thor wished he could take off the bindings over his eyes to see his friend again.

“You betcha! Loki just came and sneaked me out of my room with a wheelchair! He’s a good brother.” Fandral said.

“Don’t I know it.” Loki replied and Thor grinned even though he couldn’t see either of them. His hearing was still dulled but he could hear them enough to make out the words. His hands itched to hold his brother’s hands instead of his mother’s.

“Guys. As much as I appreciate your humor, how could I survive a direct hit?” The room grew quiet for a moment. Slim fingers slipped into his other hand. Loki. Thor squeezed it gently and Loki squeezed back.

“No one seems to know. You’re a mystery. Also you weren’t the only thing that got hit.”

“What? What did it hit other than me?”

“Charlie.” Loki said, his voice sounded subdued. Charlie was also struck by lightning? Ha. Justice.

“Is he here in the same ward?”

“No... Charlie’s dead.”. Loki finished and Thor gasped. They were both struck but only one of them survived. Thor suddenly felt very lucky. He wouldn't shed any tears over that maniac but it still hit him how close he had been to die himself and that was tough to handle. In the silence, his mother let go of his hand and shoved more pillows behind his back, probably just to have something to do.

“Wow.” He said and leaned back into the fluffy pillows when she was done.

“Yes, I always did admire your eloquence.” Fandral said and Thor snorted.

“Shut up.” He said and smiled towards to where it sounded like Fandral was.

“Can I ask something?” Fandral asked and Thor nodded.

“When I was in a coma, did you call me a princess?”

“Loki!”

“Don’t look at me, I didn’t tell him!”

“Don't look at you? Loki, that was _not_ funny!” Frigga hissed and Thor heard her smack his brother over the head. All three of the boys burst into laughter. Thor should be miserable but he was surrounded by the people he loved the most in the whole world, all of them still alive. Thor felt his eyes burn but he kept on laughing.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A time- skip until the last weeks of summer, before college starts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeek, this fic is almost over, I can't believe it!

It was nearing the end of August and soon, school would start again. Thor was looking forward to it, it would be his last year in college. After that, he could start living his life, get a job and move out of his parent’s house. Odin was back in the house, Frigga helped him adjust to his new life as a one-eyed man. His mother was a dutiful wife but she wasn’t happy, Thor could see as much. There was a sense of sadness around her now and some days, like today, it was contagious. The leaves on the trees in their garden were in the beginning of changing colors and the wind felt a little bit colder as it touched his face. He sniffed the air. It smelled like it would rain but not quite yet. Thor was growing his hair out and it tickled his ears and neck softly. He loved sitting out on the porch these days, even if it was giving him a headache at the moment.

Thor was still healing from his injuries. If he thought it was annoying when his face was bruised before, it was nothing compared to being blind, almost deaf and letting his nose heal and wearing the hospital’s special sunglasses all the time. His vision had been damaged by the lightning and his hearing was still not a hundred percent. While his eyes were working on getting better, he had to wear the sunglasses pretty much all the time which was not too great because he had a broken nose and everything hurt, all the time.

Light hurt his eyes, so dark rooms were his best friends for the moment but he wanted to enjoy the last throes of summer. His injuries were better than before but still bad enough to be annoying. Headaches were still daily but not as severe as they had been right after the incident.

Thor saw the apple trees were growing their fruits and he almost wanted to go grab an apple to eat but it would be tiny and extremely tart right now, they wouldn’t be finished until late September so there was still a long while to go before they would be ripe and perfect. They didn’t even smell like apples yet. He loved the fresh apple smell, even if it wasn’t the apple trees themselves he longed for.

They hadn’t touched since that day, Loki and him. He had helped Thor in the beginning when he couldn’t see anything but the more independent Thor got, the more Loki withdrew from him. It hurt. It would be Loki’s first year in college and Thor remembered how difficult it could be in the beginning, how tough the load of homework was and he had been looking forward to help and support Loki through it, because nobody had been there for him that way. But now? He didn’t know where they stood anymore.

En Dwi Gast had started visiting more and he always made sure to make Loki laugh and stay close to him. Even though Thor knew that he was Loki’s real dad now, it didn’t dampen his jealousy that much. It felt like they still had secrets Thor wasn’t privy to and it irked him. Maybe they did have secrets but it didn't feel like Thor had the right to ask anymore. He and his brother were drifting apart and Thor hated it. He hated it more than anything else. Thor wanted to ask, wanted to talk about it but he was scared Loki might tell him something he didn’t want to hear. That he regretted everything that happened between them, that he didn’t want it anymore. That he didn’t want Thor anymore. That there were no feelings at all left.

Thor pushed his feet on the floor, making the hammock swing back and forth a few more times. His mother bought a new hammock for the porch last week. The old one broke when uncle Ve sat in it. It was the first time he and his family visited them since his heart attack and he was finally starting to feel like himself, so of course the fucking hammock broke under him when he sat in it. Marit got hysterical until they heard his uncle laugh from the rubble. He told Marit to stop shrieking, he was fine. Ve even offered to pay for a new one but Frigga refused the offer. During coffee a bit later, uncle Ve started laughing out of the blue and when they all stared at him he said he hadn’t seen his feet in twenty years until they almost kicked him in the face when the hammock broke. Everyone except for Marit laughed. Uncle Ve was a nice man, why was he even with that witch? There didn’t seem to be any love between them either, no warmth when they looked at one another or sweet words or anything. He deserved better. And so did his mom. Odin was still cold towards his family, the events hadn’t changed him one bit. Looking at the parallels between his parents and uncle Ve and Marit, he couldn’t ignore the similarities anymore. Thor wished he could figure out how to help his mother so she’d get that happy twinkle back in her eyes again.

So here he was, swinging away in the new hammock while trying to suss out life and what he could do to help the people around him.

“Hi, honey.” His mother said to his right.

“Hey, mom. What’s up?” Thor stilled the hammock so his mother could sit next to him, then they rocked it back and forth together.

“How are you?” She asked and he sensed it would be one of those talks she kept insisting on they had at least once a week these days. Thor and Loki had both been ordered to go to therapy to process what had happened to them and Frigga sitting down with them once a week was something the therapist had suggested.

“I’m fine.” He said and looked down at his hands clasped in his lap.

“Really? Then why do you look so miserable?”

“It’s fine. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Thor, darling. I’m your mother, not your therapist. You can’t fool me. I know _something’s_ wrong. At first I thought it was just trauma after what happened to you and Loki but you look sadder now.”

“It’s nothing.” Thor sighed before he leaned his head on Frigga’s shoulder. She leaned her head on his and her hand came up to stroke his face.

“You’re a terrible liar, Thor.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Because you wear your heart on your sleeve and you’re so easy to see through. I see you’re hurting but I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“I can’t.” Thor closed his eyes. He hated lying to his mother but what was really bothering him, he could never tell her. _Especially_ not her. She would look at him with such disgust and maybe even throw him out of the house. He’d had to drop out of college and try to find a home somewhere else.

“Okay. I just want you to know that I’m here if you ever want to tell me what’s wrong, okay?”

Thor nodded.  H e was tired of talking,  tired of everything really . They kept rocking the hammock in silence.

*****

Thor woke up when someone knocked on his bedroom door. He sat up against the headboard and told them to come in.

“Hi.” Loki said.

“Hey.” Thor was surprised to see his brother. They hadn’t been alone together in a long time.

“Can I come in?” Loki asked and Thor nodded, maybe a bit too eager.

“Of course.”

Loki came in, locked the door behind him before he approached Thor’s bed and sat down. Sitting face to face they stared for a moment before Loki cleared his throat.

“So... I guess we should talk.” Loki looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here right now and Thor’s stomach dropped. He was about to get dumped, he knew it.

“Okay.” He said, waiting for Loki to continue. Thor wanted him to shut up. He wasn’t ready to let go of their whatever they had. He loved Loki more than anything.

“Uh, I don’t even know how to start saying what I’m about to say.” He was silent for a few minutes, picking on his nails until he sighed deeply and met Thor’s gaze straight on.

“I’m not gonna go to college here in town.”

“Oh.” Thor frowned. He thought Loki was already enlisted and had all his classes picked and such.

“Yeah. Thor, this is so difficult to say. I don’t _want_ to say it but, I can’t stay here anymore.”

“In this house? There are a few housing options, I can help you find-”

“Thor. It’s not just the house. It’s this town. I want to move on and try to forget everything that happened this summer.” Loki tilted his head, asking for Thor’s understanding but he couldn’t. Not now. Thor tried to keep from making a scene. He wanted to say something but he decided to let Loki finish what he was gonna say. But it appeared his brother was struggling with his words.

“I see. About us too then?” Thor asked.

“What? Oh no, not about _us_ , Thor. I never want to forget about us! I meant with Charlie and all that happened out there.” Loki nodded towards Thor’s window. Oh.

“So, you don’t regret-”

“Never.”

“Oh good. Me either.” Well that was a relief at least.

“I want to move on but people won’t let me. This town won’t let me. People keep asking about it and I don’t want to relive it over and over. Strangers on the street come up to me and ask me what it was like to see someone get struck by lightning up so close.”

“They do? I’m sorry, Loki. I didn't know.”

“I know you don’t because I never told you.”

“Sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything, stop apologizing.” Loki snapped at him but looked regretful as soon as he stopped talking. Thor didn’t say anything else since he started to get annoyed with his brother too. 

“It’s not only that either. I can still see it so clearly before me, the way his hands seemed to melt together around the crowbar. I can still hear his scream and... I can still smell his burnt flesh.”

“Oh my God, Loki!”

“I have nightmares about it and it doesn’t exactly help when people keep asking. And then there were you. You said you couldn’t open your eyes but they were already open. That scared me. Your irises were surrounded by red rings that were still spreading. I know I can be morbid and shit sometimes but that was like taken out of a horror movie. Like seeing a zombie virus taking over somebody."

“It’s understandable to have nightmares about it. Also you need to start watching other movies.”

“Very funny. I’m working through it with Dr. Banner in therapy and it’s getting better, but not fast enough.”

“He is rather good, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. He has experience with trauma himself so he has insights to the human psyche other’s don’t. He knows what he’s talking about and it shows.”

“He told me I have anger issues.” Thor stated.

“Oh? What did you say?”

“I think I growled and clenched my hands into fists. He just smiled at me and I knew he was right.” Loki chuckled softly and Thor felt like they maybe would be alright in the end? Loki took his hands into his and laced their fingers together and sniffled. Oh no, here it comes. 

“I’m leaving.” Loki said quietly. 

“It’s okay. You’ll go to college in another town, but I can come visit you during some weekends. You’re still gonna come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, right? We can make it work.” He squeezed Loki’s hands tighter, like he could keep him here in this moment.

“Thor. I’m not just leaving town. I’m leaving the country.”

“What? Where? _Why_?”

“I’m not comfortable to stay here. We know Charlie had more friends than just the two he brought that day and we don’t know their agenda. The police didn’t catch all of them. I don’t want to walk around always looking over my shoulder.” It was true though. The two guys Charlie had with him that day both got sent to prison but only for a few months each. One of their defense lawyers tried to make it look like Loki was the one who should be arrested because of the stabbing but luckily, Loki was represented by a lawyer named En Dwi Gast who apparently is one of the best lawyers around because Loki walked free. 

“I don’t think they’ll do anything.”

“You don’t know that. I don’t know that. Even the police don’t know that. Charlie may have been incredibly stupid in some things but he knew how to network. I keep thinking that if he hadn’t died, he would probably become the leader of a cult or something.”

“Probably. But where will you go?”

“You forget I actually have a place of my own to go to these days.”

“Italy?”

“Yes.”

“That’s... far away.” That wasn’t a weekend trip. The flight alone took about eleven hours and that was only one way.

“I know. I just know I have to do this.”

“What will you do there?”

“My dad pulled some strings and I’m gonna go to the American University of Rome. There are some classes I’m interested in.” Loki shrugged like it was nothing but Thor could see right through him. He was excited to go. Thor couldn’t stop him, no matter what.

“How long are you gonna be gone?” _Please say it’s just for one semester, please._

“I don’t know.”

“You mean you’re going away and you’re gonna stay there.” Thor’s heart broke into million pieces and he couldn’t hold it in anymore. He sniffled loudly before pulling his hands free from Loki’s grip. Damn the tears stung his eyes like they were made of fire but he couldn’t help it. Loki was leaving him. Forever. He got up from the bed and paced the floor.

“I’ll come visit, I promise. Like you said, there’s Thanksgiving and Christmas and-”

“It’s not the same and you know it. If it had been a few towns over, I could’ve driven the distance to see you. We could’ve spent the breaks together but this? You and I, what we’ve shared, it’s...” He couldn’t finish the sentence. It hurt too much.

“Thor.”

"You’ll find someone else.”

“I won’t.”

“You say that now but when you’re over there you’ll find someone who can take care of you the way you deserve.”

“You already do that.”

“Right. We can never go on dates, hold hands in public or make out in the movies like normal people.”

“I don’t want those things.”

“Right.”

“I mean I do want them. But not if it’s not with you.” Loki looked as destroyed as Thor did even when it was his decision to leave.

“God, I’m so stupid. What did I think would happen? There is no happy ending for us, is there?” Thor hugged himself in true Loki-fashion.

“Come with me.” Loki said and Thor paused.

“What?”

“Come with me. Finish your senior year over there.”

“I can’t. Everything is already done and paid for with the school.”

Loki nodded sadly and rubbed at his eyes.

“Maybe you can come after you’re done with college?” So Loki did plan to stay away for a long time.

“Maybe. If you haven’t-”

“I wont find another guy! Why can’t you believe me?”

“I know how it works. It rarely works out, especially with that long a distance.”

“I don’t care how it’s failed for other people. They’re not us.”

“Yeah but.. I don’t see how it would work.”

“We’d talk on the phone, text and face-time all the time. And when you’re in heat, you always have the site to watch me get off.” Thor laughed but it didn’t quite feel right.

“You’ll still do them over there?”

“Of course. It’s my thing.” Loki shrugged. “And I want that extra cash I get. Oh wait, speaking of that!” Loki hurried out of Thor’s room so Thor went back to sit in his bed. Loki was back within a minute, holding a thick envelope. He handed it to Thor, who frowned.

“What is this?”

“Your share.”

“Of?”

“You know... our video. Together.”

“Ah.” Thor opened the envelope and gasped as his jaw dropped. “There’s six thousand dollars in here.”

“I know.”

“How?”

“Haven’t you watched the video yet?”

“No.” Thor blushed. He was still contemplating if he should, but hadn’t yet.

“Okay. Well, when I started the stream, I had fifty viewers that rose to somewhere over two hundred in just a couple of minutes. At the end of the clip, we had like seven hundred people watching us.” Loki finished and looked mightily pleased with himself.

“ _Seven hundred_?”

“Yup. And you know the price. Twenty bucks a head. Minus taxes.”

“Wow. This is amazing. Disturbing but amazing. Also I didn’t do it for the money, you know that.”

“I know. You just went online to perv on your kid brother, then ended up with your dick down his throat.”

“Shut up.” Thor blushed and chuckled. Maybe they could make it. It was only a year. Less. More like ten months, then Thor could do whatever he wanted to.

“You shut up.” Loki said, his voice fond as he smiled at him.

Thor really wanted to believe him, he really did. There was just something in his gut telling him that it would all go to hell if Loki went to Italy. Thor had doubts about going there himself. For  a couple of weeks on a nice  vacation absolutely, but did he want to live there indefinitely?  He was doubtful.  But he still smiled at his brother as Loki talked animatedly about what he wanted to do first when he got to Italy.

Loki was leaving and Thor couldn’t stop him.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is leaving tomorrow so Thor wants to arrange something special for their last night together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay but I have *struggled* with this chapter. I've written, then deleted, then written new stuff only to delete that too!  
> Well, now an update is finally here! And this chapter is a bit longer than the others too.
> 
> Thank you so much for being patient with me. Thank you so much for all the love I've gotten from you guys for this fic, it warms my heart, truly! ♥

* * *

 

The last weeks whooshed by and in what seemed like a blink of an eye, the day was almost here. Loki was leaving for Italy tomorrow and college started two days after that. Losing Loki and starting college in the same week would be tough, Thor knew. Since they had the talk about Loki leaving they’d had one intimate moment, a week ago. Loki had jerked him off in the bathroom while their parents, all three of them, were downstairs in the kitchen. Thor had kissed him deeply after, then sunk to his knees to suck Loki off but of course that’s when their mom yelled that dinner was ready and for them to hurry up. Loki told him ‘later’ but ‘later’ never happened. There was so much to do with Loki moving away. En Dwi Gast did what he could on his end with papers, and their passports and stuff while Frigga and Odin took care of the rest.

Oh yes, that was Thor’s least favorite thing. Uncle En was going with Loki to Italy to make sure he made it to the right place. He had some business to take care of over there so he combined the two things at once. Thor had made an effort to get to know him better since he was at their house more often but he just couldn’t bring himself to like him. He could tolerate him but only for a limited time, then he needed a breather. En had suggested a going away party for Loki but Loki had declined, saying he wanted to spend his last days in town with only his family and closest friends.

Yesterday he had spent most of the day, and evening, with Darcy and Bucky. Thor was jealous, he could admit that. He wanted to keep Loki all to himself since he wouldn’t get to see him again until November. It was unbelievable he wouldn’t get to see Loki every day. A year ago they barely spoke and didn’t hang out at all but now so much had happened. How was he supposed to let him go now? Thor put his faith to the old saying that if you love someone, let them go. He knew Loki wanted to go and Thor wanted what was best for his brother, even if it meant they couldn’t be together. Even if Loki found someone else in Italy, Thor would still love him and be happy for him. He would cry but after some time, maybe he could accept it. Maybe.

But for now, Loki was still here in the same house. Thor had less than twenty-four hours with him and right now, Loki was at a restaurant with the three parents. Why was En Dwi even at the dinner in the first place? He was going with Loki so it was not really a goodbye for him, was it? Ugh, that man. Thor had been invited but he said no. He couldn’t bare it. A goodbye dinner? Thor would’ve broken down and in front of their parents. As everyone claimed Thor was a bad liar, they would know something was up. He couldn’t have that. He didn’t want to explain everything cause then he’d break down again, probably.

So, Thor had made a plan for when Loki got back from the dinner and the parents went to bed. Instead of worrying about the dinner and getting more annoyed over En Dwi Gast, he focused on the task at hand. Thor had something special planned, but Loki could of course say no if he wanted to. Thor hoped he would say yes though, very much so. It was good that the house was empty except for Thor himself, because he could work without disruptions or having to sneak around.

First he went up to the attic and found what he was looking for. Thank God he’d kept up with his physical training during the whole summer, this shit was heavy as hell. He carried it down all the stairs, through the backyard and into the tree-house, up the ladder and onto the loft. He was already sweating like a shaved polar bear in Florida. He took the plastic off and sniffed it to make sure it was okay. It was new but since it had been in the attic for several months, you never knew.

It was a brand new King-sized mattress that Frigga bought for a new bed she ordered online. She was setting up a guestroom in her old study where she used to paint. Only problem was that the frame she had ordered never arrived, it was out of stock. She always meant to buy another one but then everything with Fandral, then Thor and Loki had happened so she got distracted and still hadn’t finished the room.

Thor ran back and forth to the house and found some nice and soft linens in the linens closet, pillows and the giant duvet Frigga had also bought for the new bed. The nights had started to get a bit chilly so he wanted to ensure they would be warm and snug through the whole night since the tree-house didn’t have any heating. Thor went up to the attic again and rummaged through boxes with some old stuff from parties and found exactly what he was looking for and more. He grinned to himself. Loki and the parents had been gone for almost an hour now so they would probably be back within another hour or so, so Thor hurried as much as he could to set everything up.

 

*****

Thor finished his task quicker than he thought and he was getting nervous and a little giddy. He tried to not get his hopes up but it was impossible not to. If Loki said yes, they could spend the whole night together without worrying that their parents could hear them. Even better, he’d get to wake up with Loki in his arms for once.

He was on the couch in the TV room waiting for them when they finally came home. Frigga was upset and Odin stomped his way to his office and slammed the door. Loki was hugging himself.

“What the hell happened?” He looked between his mother and his brother.

“There was an altercation between your father and En Dwi.” Frigga explained, looking tired as hell.

“Altercation?”

“Odin wanted this night to be special and to give Loki a big send off, so he said he’d pay his rent for the next year.”

“Rent?” Thor frowned. Loki didn’t need to pay any rent in his own place, did he?

“I assume you knew about Loki’s apartment then?” She smirked at him and started taking the pins out of her hair, letting her wild locks fall around her shoulders. “The thing is, Loki forgot to tell _us_ about it. So now your father feels offended because he had nothing else for Loki as a gift and it was snapped into dust. He insisted that he’d been ridiculed by En Dwi Gast and yelled at him for giving Loki something like that as a gift when he’s only eighteen. Not really a scene you’d think appropriate for a restaurant.”

“But uncle En is Loki’s real dad. He can buy him whatever he wants.”

“Thank you!” Loki said loudly, spreading his arms wide like he’d been saying it for years.

“I know. That’s what En Dwi said too. It’s just that Odin-”

“He didn’t get to be the big shot this one time and he can’t handle it.” Thor finished for her and she looked at him, surprise written all over her face.

“Something like that.” A small smile played over her lips for a second, gone within the blink of an eye. Frigga then excused herself to go to bed, she claimed to be exhausted with an oncoming headache. Thor believed her, she really looked like it and Loki didn’t argue. Thor opened his mouth to say something to Loki but Odin came back from his office looking for Frigga, then went after her.

“Jesus.” Loki sat down on the other couch. “I just wanna go to sleep so this whole goddamn day is over.”

“Oh.” Thor’s composure deflated.

“What?” Loki asked.

“Nothing.” Thor shrugged. “I just... You’re leaving tomorrow so I thought maybe _we’d_ spend some time together, that’s all.”

“Of course, how silly of me to long for sleep. What movie do you want to watch?” Loki was about to lie down on the couch but Thor reached for the remote and turned the TV off.

“No movie.” Thor said.

“No movie?”

“No movie.” Thor repeated before he stood up and held a hand out to Loki. His brother looked from his hand, to his face to his hand again, then grabbed it and followed Thor.

They sneaked through the kitchen door into the backyard, still holding hands. It was getting dark outside. It was one of the things Thor hated most about fall, the darkness came creeping much earlier. Loki slowed his steps as he realized Thor was walking towards the tree-house.

“Thor, why are we going there? I thought I told you I still have nightmares about what happened.”

“You did. And I think I have a somewhat remedy for it. I can’t cure the nightmares but maybe it would help if you can associate this place with something positive too?”

“What do you mean?”

“Close your eyes.”

Loki did, still pouting a bit. Thor kissed him lightly on the forehead and Loki’s lips twitched when he tried to not smile. Thor led Loki inside and locked the door behind them. It still smelled like fresh wood in here, almost blaming them for not spending any time in here at all this summer. Thor led Loki to the ladder and guided his hands to it.

“No matter what, keep your eyes shut until I get up there with you, okay?”

“Okay.” Loki climbed and Thor followed right behind. He then led Loki to the spot by the foot of the bed, then moved around the loft, pressing switches, pulling on the covers on the bed to make sure everything was perfect. He went back to Loki’s side and took hold of his hand again, lacing their fingers together.

“Open your eyes.” Thor said and took a steadying breath, trying to calm his nerves.

Loki opened them and blinked, looking around the space like he couldn’t believe his eyes.

“Thor, this is amazing.” He breathed before his face split in a wide smile. Thor could swear his eyes sparkled.

Loki walked around the bed to one side and caressed the fairy lights hanging on the wall. It was the best Thor could find around the house in the time he had. There had been a searchlight in the garage but it seemed wrong for the occasion. Thor had found three strings of fairy lights of different colors and lengths in the attic. One multicolored, one pink and the one he pinned on the wall over the head of the bed was a curtain with a warm, almost yellow light. It looked like droplets of water and it was Thor’s favorite one.

The bed looked fluffy and soft but he may have gone overboard with the pillows though, they probably wouldn’t need seven of them. But it looked good at least.

“I’m glad you like it. You do like it, right?”

“Yes. I can’t believe you did this. How did you manage to do all this in such a short time?”

“Focus and determination. Also, muscles.” Thor flexed his arms to prove his point.

Loki rolled his eyes and chuckled as he returned to Thor, giving him a big kiss on the mouth. Thor pulled back before it deepened and walked to the railings.

“Also this. No one can see us.” Thor had put one of their parent’s big sheets from their double bed over the railings and he pulled it so it covered all of it, including the hole for the ladder. “I also put little jingle bells on every window so if someone tries to get in, we will definitely hear it. No one can sneak up on us.”

“Jingle bells?” Loki laughed this time. Thor shrugged. It was better than nothing.

“I found them in the attic, in an old box with Christmas decorations.”

Loki laughed again and kicked off his shoes. That seemed like he was on board with Thor’s plans, right?

“Loki, are you-”

“Yes.” Loki came close again and looped his arms around Thor’s shoulders. “I want this. I’m sure. This is the best gift of any gift ever.” Loki smiled softly and Thor slid his arms around him and kissed him softly.

“I don’t know. An apartment in Rome isn’t too shabby.” Thor mumbled between kisses.

“Hmm. This is better.” Loki sighed and then licked into Thor’s mouth, sliding his tongue smoothly against Thor’s.

Thor kissed him back while trying to take in as much of the experience as he possibly could. It would probably be the one and only time they would be together fully, so he wanted to remember everything, every little detail. He slid both his hands into Loki’s soft hair and held him closer as he deepened the kiss. Loki melted against him, aligning their bodies perfectly. Thor could feel his brother was already growing hard against him and his own body responded in full.

Loki had dressed up for the dinner in a soft cotton shirt with what felt like a hundred buttons and slacks that were just in the way. As Thor tried to unbutton the shirt, Loki shooed his hands away and unbuttoned it himself, much quicker than Thor. But he let Thor open it to slide his hands over his soft skin, up to his chest. Thor gently played with his nipples for a few minutes, making them hard and Loki seemed to like it a lot judging by the way he pressed himself against Thor. After the shirt had slid off of his brother’s shoulders, Thor tickled his fingertips down Loki’s sternum to his flat stomach, making Loki giggle against his lips in the process and popped the button on his pants. They went down much quicker than the shirt had, thank God. Loki stood before him in only his underwear, tenting them quite nicely. He slipped them off and Thor could see he was freshly shaved, not a hair in sight. Oh, how Thor _wanted_.

In return, Loki pulled Thor’s T-shirt up and off and made quick work of Thor’s sweatpants and underwear so Thor stood there in all his naked glory. His cock was already fully hard, how was he supposed to last all night? It would be an impossible feat. But they were young, they could recuperate faster than older people so maybe they’d get to be together more than once? If they wanted to, that is. Thor may still fuck it up, and not in a good way. What if it hurt and-

“Stop thinking so much, I can hear the rusty cogwheels whining from here.”

“No you can’t.” Thor muttered and Loki smiled at him for a moment before he reached for Thor’s cock. It was like his fingers were made to wrap around it and Thor moaned as Loki moved his hand back and forth a few times. Thor pulled him into another deep kiss and then he let his own hands roam over Loki’s body, relishing in feeling the smooth skin under his fingertips. If he were a romantic, which he weren’t, he’d compare Loki’s skin to touching velvet or a soft peach. The voices in the back of his mind were laughing or groaning at how lame he was. _Oh, shut up_ he thought at them before he remembered something.

“Oh, wait.” Thor pulled back and went to the bed and pulled Loki’s laptop from under the covers, including the camera he used for his videos. Thor remembered Loki said he wanted to do this online so Thor wanted to give it to him. Loki gave him a soft smile and took it from him.

“You’re okay with doing this online? A blowjob is one thing but this is different.”

“Yes. You said you wanted your first time to be live streamed so...” Thor shrugged.

"You’d really do this for me?”

“Of course. I’ll do anything you want.”

Loki looked him in the eyes for a moment before putting his laptop on the floor without opening it, then he wrapped his arms around Thor’s shoulders again.

“Maybe some other time.” He said softly.

“You sure? I don’t mind.”

“I think _I_ would mind, actually.”

“But you said-”

“I know. But now when we’re really here, I think I want to keep you to myself. At least for tonight.” Loki pressed a chaste kiss against his lips and Thor had to admit he felt a bit relieved. He would have done it for Loki and it would’ve probably been a damn good video, but not having to worry about showing his face, keeping the right angle, make sure the light is right and such? It would be so much better without all that, so they could focus on each other instead. Thor buried his nose in Loki’s hair but pulled back frowning.

“What did you do? You don’t smell like apples.”

“Oh. No, I just put in some argan oil after the shower and not the apple mist.”

“Huh.”

“What’s wrong?” Loki frowned back.

“Nothing... I just like the apple smell.” Thor did _not_ pout.

“I’m sorry.” Loki smiled again. “Will you be okay?”

“Maybe.”

“Will you lose your boner?”

“Maybe. We better get on the bed before that happens.” Thor gently slapped Loki’s behind and then got on the bed with Loki following closely.

“It’s so weird. I’ve wanted this for quite some time, but now when it’s happening I feel nervous.” Loki said as they lay side by side facing each other.

“What are you nervous about?”

“Everything.”

“Well if it helps at all, I’m nervous too.”

"Why are _you_ nervous? You’ve had sex before.”

“Yeah, with a girl. It’s different. And I feel different. _Everything_ feels different.”

“Is that good?”

“I think so.”

They kissed again, and this time Thor dared to slide a hand down to Loki’s butt and squeezed the soft cheek. Loki hummed and pushed his butt back against his hand. Thor dislodged his lips from his brother’s and started kissing and nibbling down his neck instead while letting his hands roam over Loki’s body. Loki tilted his head to give him better access and moaned when Thor scraped his teeth against the skin. Loki cradled his head in both hands and pushed his face harder to his neck. Thor kissed and licked circles in whichever way and sucked the flesh hard enough to leave marks on his skin. Right after scraping his teeth against the skin again, he nibbled it and then gently bit it.

“Fuck yes.” Loki arched his body against him and tried to keep his head in place but Thor pushed Loki over to his back and then moved down to his chest. He took first one nipple between his lips and sucked it until it pebbled, then circled it with his tongue before moving to the other one, giving it the same treatment before repeating it over and over. Loki was so responsive to him, Thor was going a bit mad with it all. Thor was almost gnawing on a nipple when Loki gasped and asked Thor to fuck him. He whined when Thor said not yet. There was still so much Thor wanted to do to his brother before they got to that.

“Well, at least let me suck your cock.” Loki tried to sit up but Thor pushed him down on the bed again.

“Not _yet_. You’ll get your turn but now it’s my turn. It’s always been you pleasuring me in some way, now I want to give some of it back. Please let me.” Thor said before pressing his mouth against the belly and going lower still. Loki groaned in frustration and pounded into the bedding with his fists, but let Thor continue his exploration.

Then Thor was face to face with Loki’s cock. He hadn’t really been here before, had he? It lay flat against Loki’s stomach, the head already shiny. It would be the first cock Thor had ever tasted. He tried to remember every porno he’d ever seen and what Jane and Loki had done when they sucked him off to make him feel so damn good. He was so inexperienced when it came to this and he wanted to be real good for Loki.

“Don’t overthink it, I’ll like it.” Loki said encouraging him to go for it. And he did go for it.

He started with slowly dragging the flat of his tongue up Loki’s shaft all the way up to the head. He circled his tongue just below the head and then placed a sucking kiss there like Loki had done to him once. Loki moaned and spread his legs wider. Thor did it again but this time when he got to the head, he swirled his tongue around it and put the head into his mouth. It wasn’t too bad, the taste. Thor experimented a little by sucking and licking on the head, while stroking his hand up and down the shaft. He tried licking in different patterns and sucking first lightly, then harder to determine what Loki liked best. It didn’t help much since Loki seemed to like _everything_. Then Loki pushed his hips up and Thor choked as the cock hit the back of his throat.

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” Loki looked apologetic through his blushing face. If he blushed for embarrassment or excitement, Thor wasn’t sure.

“It’s fine.” Thor coughed. “Just don’t do it again.” Thor may be the bigger one of the two but Loki was in no way small when it came to his cock. Compared to others Thor had seen online, Loki was well endowed. It was kind of pretty too, for what it was. It was the prettiest cock _he’d_ ever seen seen, he knew that much.

Loki bit his lip, whining through his nose as Thor took him deeper and took Loki’s cock in a firm grip. He pulled off for a moment.

“Hey. No one can hear us out here. You don’t have to hold back.”

“Oh, right. Then get back to sucking my cock, _brother_.” Loki smirked and grabbed a handful of Thor’s hair when Thor obliged. He didn’t push Thor down on his cock but he held a firm grip on his hair to keep him in place. Thor would never admit to the stirring in his belly when Loki talked like that. Jesus, imagine him ordering Thor around to pleasure him this way or that and then when Thor didn’t perform well enough, well... Loki could probably find a fitting punishment of some kind. Some form of restraints perhaps?

Thor moaned around the cock in his mouth which made Loki gasp in return. Thor increased his pace and moved his hand up and down the shaft as his mouth slid further and further down the shaft. He wouldn’t be able to deep-throat him though.

“Oh, fuck yeah.” Loki leaned his head back, exposing his neck and Thor wanted to return to it but he was occupied with other, even better things. “Please tell me you remembered to bring lube out here?” Loki asked, sounding a little breathless to Thor’s delight.

“Under the pillows.” Thor said and continued sucking his brother’s cock as Loki pulled out the tube of lube. He held it out to Thor but Thor only shook his head. He didn’t want to stop what he was doing, he was enjoying it too much.

“Come on, Thor. I don’t want to come in your mouth.” Thor hummed at the thought and Loki whimpered. “I mean, it would be nice and all but I’d rather do it when you’re inside me.”

“Jesus, Loki.” Thor pulled off his cock and breathed as his own cock pulsed between his legs. Maybe he needed to cool off too for a few moments. He took the lube and Loki spread his legs wide. Thor ginned as he put the lube down on the bed again and Loki was probably gonna curse him or something when he opened his mouth but Thor dragged his fingertips over the smooth skin surrounding Loki’s cock. Loki said _oh_ and looked at him with hooded eyes as Thor gently explored the area with his fingertips, lips and nose.

“God, your skin is so soft.” Thor licked at the base of Loki's cock, marveling in not feeling one single hair anywhere. He nosed over Loki’s balls, enjoying the way Loki gasped as he did it. He licked over the sack before pulling the balls into his mouth, sucking on them repeatedly. Loki was growing more and more impatient, Thor could tell. He was about to lick even lower when Loki interrupted him.

“Thor, _please_.” Loki grabbed his own legs and held himself open to Thor. Finally, Thor could see everything up close like he’d fantasized about when watching Loki’s videos. How could he refuse?

“All right.” Thor opened the lube and dribbled some of it over a couple of fingers. He softly spread the slick around the opening, circling it but never quite touching it. He enjoyed Loki mewling every time he came close and the groan when he skipped passed it.

“Thor I swear, if you don’t put anything in me within the next few minutes I’m walking out of here, back to my room to find something else to put in there. And if you’re wondering, I’m not kidding. I’ve been hard for thirty minutes!”

“Fine!” Thor groused. “I just wanted to enjoy myself for a bit.”

“Save it for the next time. I want you and I want you now. I- Ah.”

Loki gasped as Thor pushed a finger inside him to the second knuckle. Thor retracted the digit only to push it back in, a bit gentler this time. He squeezed some more lube directly over the opening and Loki hissed at the cold. After that, Thor worked his finger inside his brother, slicking him right and proper and opening him up until he was pushing three fingers into his body and Loki was panting loudly while urging him on.

“I’m ready, Thor.” Loki said, his hairline already moist with sweat. Thor was in a similar state, he was so turned on his cock was aching to be touched.

“Okay, get the condoms. Also under the pillows.” Thor said and gently pulled his fingers out of his brother, wiping them on the sheet.

“No condom. I want to feel all of you.” Loki panted while reaching his arms out for Thor.

“No condom?”

“You’re healthy and I’ve never been with anyone and I can’t get pregnant. No condom.”

“If you’re sure.” Thor reached for the lube again and groaned as the cold slick hit the hot flesh of his dick. He spread it over the length, biting his lower lip to keep the groan inside. If he didn’t calm down soon, he’d shoot his load before he even got inside Loki and that just wouldn’t do. This was their night and it had to be perfect.

“Come here.” Loki said hoarsely. He still held his arms out for him and Thor went. Loki devoured his mouth in seconds, moaning around his tongue.

“Thor, fuck me now. Please, just fuck me.” That was another tone of Loki’s voice that Thor had never heard before. It wasn’t the low, teasing one he used in his videos, it wasn’t the one he’d used on Thor when they had their moments. He sounded unabashedly _desperate_ to have Thor inside him. Thor pulled back and Loki whimpered so prettily when he did.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. I just have to see what I’m doing so I get it right.”

Loki held his cheeks apart to help out. Loki’s hole was glistening with slick and Thor couldn’t wait anymore. He slid his cock up and down the crack a couple of times before pressing it against the opening. It yielded almost immediately and Thor’s mind flashed to Loki’s video where he first inserted that toothbrush case, how he almost didn’t get it in. The head of Thor’s cock sank into him slowly but surely. And dear God, Loki’s inside was almost scorching his cock with the heat. He sunk deeper and deeper, watching Loki’s face the entire time. He was frowning but it looked liked a concentrated frown, not a painful one.

“Unh, fuck you’re big.” Loki gasped.

“Want me to-”

“If you pull out I’ll fucking brain you. Keep going.” Thor kept going but when Loki’s frown deepened he paused. He was only two thirds inside him now. He pulled back an inch then pushed back inside. Loki moaned so he did it again and again until Loki’s body relaxed around him.

“That’s it baby, relax for me. God, we have barely started but I feel just about ready to come.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Loki then pulled him down on top of him and they kissed deeply, swirling tongues and biting lips. Thor pushed the rest of his cock inside in one go and his brother grunted like he’d just been punched in the gut. He clenched around Thor’s cock almost too hard.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Just... give me a moment?” Loki’s lips wobbled and he bit his lower lip and breathed through his nose. His erection waned a bit but that was normal, it happened to almost everyone when they got penetrated, he’d seen it in countless porn videos.

“Does it hurt?” Thor frowned as he held still, buried as deep as he could go inside Loki.

“A little.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault you’re hung like a goddamn horse. _Fuck_.”

Thor just moved a little so he wouldn’t put all his weight on his brother, not meaning to move his dick inside him. He pulled out a little, causing Loki to hiss and squeeze his eyes shut. Thor patted the bed around them and found the lube again. It couldn’t hurt to add some more of that, could it?

“Loki, I’m gonna pull out a little but I’ll do it slowly.”

“No!”

“Just to add some more lube. Okay?”

“Okay.” Loki whimpered as Thor pulled out even if it was just a few inches. Thor poured lube both directly at the opening and on his cock, smearing it around with a finger. He tried pushing back and forth a few times and it did work, his cock slid more easily into the heat. Seeing his cock stretching Loki like that did things to him, excitement tickling down his spine only to lodge in his already rock hard cock. The flesh clenching around him started to loosen again. Thor added another squirt of lube on the place where they were interlocked, then put it down before hovering above Loki’s face once more.

“Is it better?”

“Yes. But, let’s go a bit slow at first okay?” Loki gave him a weak smile. Thor bent down to capture his lips and they kissed for the umpteenth time. Loki wrapped his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck. Thor gently pulled out a few inches and very slowly pushed back in and repeated it a few times.

“Wait. Change your angle a bit.”

“How?”

“Lower your hips a little and try to fuck upwards.” Thor tried to oblige, the best he could.

“Like this?”

“No, a little bit lower.”

“Is that better?”

“Maybe a little lo- OH!”

That was definitely a sound of pleasure. It took a few more thrusts to find the prostate again but when he did, Loki’s legs and arms tightened around him as he moaned loudly into his ear. Thor tried to pull out a bit further and pushed in at the good angle and Loki cried out Thor’s name.

“Good?”

“So fucking good, don’t stop.” Loki clung to him like his life depended on it. His cheeks were flushed and it was one of the most adorable things Thor had ever seen. Loki was so damn pretty, Thor could almost feel his heart grow a couple of sizes.

Thor tried to keep the angle right with every thrust and judging by Loki’s increasing sounds, he did a pretty good job. Instead, Thor focused on fucking his brother with alternating strength and depth as he pushed and pulled while sweating rivers. His muscles were burning and he knew he didn’t have that long until he’d come. He wanted Loki to come first though, it was his main goal.

“Fuck Thor, you’re so fucking good. Fuck me harder.” Okay, Loki gasping that into his ear was so unfair. Thor did fuck him harder though.

“Yes! Fuck me just like that, so good, so good.” Loki had put his hands against the wall above his head and used them to push back on Thor’s cock, making him go deeper.

“Fuck Loki you feel so good around me, you’re taking me so well. It’s like you’re molded for me and only me.”

“I am! Deeper, Thor, deeper!” Loki was almost crying his words out and Thor could only interpret it as he was getting close too.

He pushed one of Loki’s legs up and resting it over his shoulder as he plunged into the heat again, hard and deep.

“Fuck!” Loki cried out and then whimpered when Thor did it again.

“Does it hurt?” Thor asked because he was definitely fucking Loki harder now than he did before.

“Yes. N-no. Just keep fucking me. Come on, pound me into the mattress. I wanna feel you for days.”

“Oh, fuck.” Thor cursed and thought about Loki still feeling him when he was all the way over there in Italy. “That’s so fucking hot.” Thor panted and then made an effort to slam into his brother’s hole over and over.

“Yes, so good Thor, so good! Fuck me, fuck your brother good!” Loki started whining and talking even dirtier but Thor was too close to coming to actually care what his brother was saying.

“You want my hand on your cock?” Thor offered but Loki quickly shook his head before his body went taut and his back bowed off the bed. He buried his nails in Thor’s shoulders but Thor could barely feel them. Thor kept fucking his brother as Loki went breathless for a moment.

“Fuuuuhuuuck!” Loki cried right before his cock jerked and spilled his come on his chest in long white stripes. His hole contracted around his cock, it was almost like Loki’s hole was sucking him inside. Thor’s cock throbbed painfully, Thor was so close, so _close_.

“Loki, I- Loki...”

“In me.” Loki panted and Thor huffed before he pounded into Loki a few more times before he buried himself as deep as he could go when his cock erupted, shooting its load into the already slick heat.

“Fuck, Jesus fuck.” Thor groaned as he emptied himself into his brother. They exchanged sloppy kisses as they tried to breathe. Thor’s cock softened faster than he liked but it was easier to pull out of Loki that way. Loki mewled a little as he did, then Thor collapsed beside him on the bed.

“Holy shit, that was... that was...” Thor tried to find the right words but every word he could think of felt unworthy.

“Yeah, I have to agree.” Loki panted next to him. They lay in comfortable silnce for a few minutes before Loki spoke again.

“So, brother. I don’t suppose you brought any paper or towels out here so I can wipe down a bit?” Thor blinked. He didn’t even think of that. Loki laughed.

“I take your facial expression as a no.” Loki reached behind him and pulled a pillow out. He pulled the pillowcase off and turned it inside out before wiping his chest and stomach and throwing it to the floor. He seemed to be unaware he had a tiny pearl of come next to his mouth.

“You missed a spot.” Thor said but before Loki could ask where, Thor put his mouth over it and sucked it into his mouth. It was a bit bitter but since it was such a small amount, the taste didn’t last very long. He brushed Loki’s sweaty locks from his face and cupped it gently. Loki’s gaze softened and he leaned in, kissing Thor so sweetly.

“That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had. I didn’t have to touch my cock even once.”

“Yeah. Likewise.” They smiled and Loki kissed him on the forehead. He pushed Thor until he was on his back, then he cuddled up to him, putting his head on Thor’s chest.

“Sleep now?” He asked.

“Yeah. Sleep now.” Thor stroked Loki’s hair and his brother sighed and relaxed against him.

Thor smiled as he dozed off. He couldn’t wait to wake up.

 

*****

Thor stretched and his back cracked pleasingly and he yawned big. His body was sore and his muscles ache but in a very good way. Loki had woken him up in the middle of the night by sliding down his cock. Loki had ridden him slowly, rolling his hips and squeezing him perfectly. Thor came first and Loki stroked his cock but just before he came, Thor slid down the bed and took Loki’s load in his mouth. Loki had gripped his hair so hard, pulling him back and forth on his cock and he came down. They laid and talked for a few minutes before they fell asleep again. Loki had set his alarm so he wouldn’t miss his flight.

Thor frowned when a ray of sunlight hit him right in the face. Loki’s flight would leave at ten but usually the sun didn’t shine so brightly that early this late in August. Thor opened his eyes. He was alone.

“Loki?” He called out, his voice hoarse from sleep. No answer. Loki’s clothes were gone too. _No_. He wouldn’t. He told Loki last night how much he looked forward to wake up with him in his arms this one fucking time. Loki wouldn’t do that to him, would he? He wouldn’t just leave. Thor reached for his cellphone but remembered he’d left it at the table in the TV room last night.

He jumped to his feet and quickly pulled his clothes on. He almost ran back to the house and cursed under his breath as the sun was quite high in the sky. No. Loki wouldn’t leave without at least saying goodbye. He went into the kitchen and Frigga was cooking something that smelled delicious.

“Mom.” He said, his voice sounding thick even to his own ears.

“Oh hi honey, you’re up!”

“Where is Loki?”

“Loki? Oh baby, he and En Dwi left hours ago.” She gave him a sad look. Thor cast his eyes at the kitchen clock. It was almost twelve. Loki had been in the air for two hours already.

“When, uh.. when did they leave?”

“Oh around eight- ish I think. Honey are you okay?”

“No. I’ll, uh, I’ll be in my room.”

“But honey, lunch is almost ready.”

“I’m not hungry.” Thor went into the TV room and his cellphone was right where he left it. He grabbed it and went to his room, locking the door after him so he wouldn’t be disturbed.

He did it, Loki actually did that to him. Thor blinked the tears from his eyes as he lied down on his bed. He was furious but also so _incredibly_ hurt. He wanted to wake up with his brother in his arms one fucking time but Loki couldn’t even give him that.

Thor turned onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow. More tears leaked from his eyes and a loud sob wrecked his body.

Loki was gone and he didn’t even say goodbye.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He left something for you on his bed. He wanted me to tell you, since you’ve turned off your phone. I don’t know what happened between you two this time and Loki told me not to ask you about it, and that it was his fault, but honey are you okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry you guys! I keep saying it's time to put this fic to an end but these guys won't let me! So I'm going back to not knowing how many chapters there will be. I guess I'll keep writing this until it's finished. I hope you keep reading though!
> 
> Also, there is a LOT of talking in this chapter, be warned! 
> 
> Thank you so much for all kudos, bookmarks and comments so far, they mean the world to me! ♥

* * *

 

Thor turned off his cellphone for the rest of that night. He didn’t eat lunch but at dinnertime he was starving so he _had_ to eat. And Odin was yet again out of the house for some work related thing, so at least Thor wouldn’t have to deal with him right now. His mother watched him closely during dinner but didn’t say anything about his puffy red eyes or his unwillingness to talk about what had happened. When he’d swallowed down his last piece of chicken his mother sighed loudly. Thor steeled himself for a talk he didn’t want to have.

“He left something for you on his bed. He wanted me to tell you, since you’ve turned off your phone. I don’t know what happened between you two this time and Loki told me not to ask you about it, and that it was his fault, but honey are you okay?”

Thor cleared his throat but decided against talking all together and just shrugged, then shook his head no.

“Is it something you want to bring up during your next meeting with Doctor Banner?”

“No! It’s private.”

“All right. If you want to talk about it, I’m here for you baby. Okay?”

“Thanks.” Thor rinsed his plate and put it in the dishwasher before going back up the stairs.

He paused outside Loki’s room and thought he didn’t care about whatever it was that Loki left for him, but before he’d even finished the thought, he was inside the door. A gift box with a pink bow on it was on the bed. What the hell? If Loki had prepared this, did it mean he had planned this the whole time? No, he couldn’t have, it was Thor’s idea to have sex last night so it would be impossible.

He grabbed the box and went into his own room and locked the door. Whatever was inside the box, Thor would get emotional and he wanted to be alone for that. He untied the bow (was that silk?) and took the lid off. Three things were inside it, two of them wrapped in a pink crinkled paper and the third was an envelope. Well crap. If Loki wrote a letter, Thor wanted to rip it into a thousand little pieces. He was too tired to be angry now but he was still hurt that Loki left him like that, without even waking him up.

He opened the letter.

_I’m sorry._

_I didn’t want to leave you like that but I had to, it was the easiest way for me to go. I woke up before my alarm set off and turned it off, then sneaked back into the house before mom and Odin woke up._

_I knew if I had woken you up, you would have asked me to stay and I would’ve wanted to. You were right, everything is different now._

_Last night was the best night of my life but I have to go, I_ _ have _ _to do this. It’s my dream to see the world and this is my biggest chance to do just that. Maybe this way, I can find some peace with everything._

_I will call you when I land but I understand if you don’t want to talk to me. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me because I’ll be back, I promise._

_I’m leaving you_ _a parting gift_ _for when you miss me_ _the most_ _._

_I’ll miss you like crazy._

_Love, Loki_

_PS. Do you know you smile and snore at the same time? I didn’t know that was even possible._

Thor snorted at the last sentence and rubbed his eyes. He refused to spill any more tears over this. It wasn’t the end of the world, even if it felt like it. Thor let out a long breath before looking down at the pink package. Might as well keep going, like ripping off a band-aid.

He opened it. He bit his lips when he saw the small bottle of apple mist. Loki's smell in a bottle. Okay, that was just equal parts of sweet and evil. Thor already knew he’d use it on something and sniff it before going to bed. _Damn him_. Thor would have to talk to him now. But not tonight though, let him stew until tomorrow.

*****

Thor woke up with his nose buried in a pillow that smelled like apples, but it was something else that he focused on. His cock throbbed, already hard. It was barely ten in the morning. That was some dream he’d had. Him and Loki, naked skin and fluid movements, kisses and dirty words spoken. While their first time had been great, it would be so much better the next time and the time after that. If they had any more times that is. Loki had said he wouldn't find somebody else but who knew what would happen? Loki would be gone for almost a year with just a couple of appearances over the holidays. He would even miss Thor’s birthday in late October.

But that wasn’t the focus now either, the focus was on his hard dick straining in his underwear. He moaned as he grasped it in a tight fist. He kicked the covers off and pulled his boxers halfway down his legs. If only Loki could see him now. He paused, an idea forming in his mind. Loki _could_ see it, if Thor sent it to him. He remembered that morning when Loki sent that dick pic by mistake to Thor. He could do that, make Loki realize what he’s missing by going away. A little payback.

Thor let go of his dick and grabbed his phone instead and turning it on. Messages rolled in, from Loki and Fandral. Loki kept asking his forgiveness and if he was okay while Fandral wanted to hang out since they hadn’t really seen each other much lately. Thor sent Fandral a text saying he didn’t feel so good but maybe they could find some time during a weekend soon since school was about to start.

Thor opened the camera, took hold of his cock and angled the phone just right to make his cock look humongous. Thor stroked it a few times before he pulled the skin back over the head so it looked nice and shiny. He snapped the pic, wrote _You’re missing out!_ and then hit send. It didn’t seem to go off so he sent it again. It took almost a minute before his phone chirped, telling him the pic had been delivered. He frowned as it chirped a second time. It took less than a minute before his phone rang. It wasn’t Loki calling him, but Fandral. He _didn’t_!

“Hello?” Thor knew he was already blushing, this was not a conversation you should have to have between friends.

“Hey buddy. How are you?”

"Hey Fandral. I’m good, you?”

“Oh, I’m great. I can actually move most of my fingers unhindered now. Though the pinky on the left hand is still a bit wonky.”

“Wonky? How?”

“Yeah, like _really_ stiff. You know, much like the dick pic you just sent me.”

“What? _Fuck_.”

“Well, if you insist.”

“I’m so sorry, I didn't mean to send it to _you_.”

“You _didn’t_? Oh gosh, here I thought you’d had a change of heart and decided I’m the love of your life! Who is she? Or he?”

“Nobody.” Thor couldn’t tell Fandral the truth, it was too taboo. He wouldn’t understand. No one would ever understand.

“Oh really? You what? Send dick pics to random numbers to see who calls you back?”

“Of course not. I just can’t tell you.” It was the truth at least. He hated having to lie to his best friend. But that would be his life, wouldn’t it? If he and Loki ever got a real relationship going, Thor couldn’t tell people. Or he would have to, and risk everything. His friends, his parents, everyone would turn their backs on him, thinking he’s sick. Which was also true, wasn’t it?

“Can’t tell _me_? Thor, you can tell me anything. You’re my best friend and I’m yours. Come on, spill.”

“Sorry, I just can’t.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Sorry, I just can’t.”

“Okay. I must admit I’m a little hurt. But it’s up to you, I’ll get off your back.”

“Thank you.” Thor relaxed, he wouldn’t have to deal with it right now.

“You’re okay though. Right? I know Loki left yesterday.” Fandral sounded genuinely concerned. Thor looked down at the softening dick in his lap. He didn’t want to talk about Loki with Fandral, not now.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

“You sound sad.”

“I’m gonna miss him, that’s all.” It was the best he could do right now. He suddenly felt the urge to hang up immediately, even if Fandral did nothing wrong. But Thor was raised in believing manners maketh man so he stayed on the line.

“Alright. The second weekend after school starts, we’re gonna hang and catch up on things, okay?”

“Sure.”

“Okay then. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes. I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed I guess.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay. Bye, Fandral.”

“Bye buddy!”

Then his friend hung up and everything was quiet again. His boner was practically gone. Might as well get out of bed then. His phone rang but he didn’t need to see who it was before answering.

“I’m okay, Fandral!”

“Okay. Just making sure.”

“You’re so weird.”

“Yeah. But that’s why you love me!” Fandral was almost back to his old self and it amazed Thor. Fandral had been tortured but he came out of it still being his old lovely self.

“One of _many_ reasons.”

“Oh, you... okay, that’s not fair. Who told you it was okay to make me blush this early in the day, hm?” Thor laughed and he could almost hear Fandral blush on the other side of the phone. It was one thing to rib each other and say sweet things in certain situations but it was rarely this fond genuineness to it then. Thor had changed that since Fandral almost died because of him and he wanted his friend to know that he loved him very much. Some day it may be too damn late. Either of them could drop dead tomorrow. Thor’s heart ached when he thought about it.

“Fandral?”

“Yeah?”

“You wanna go get a pizza or something?”

“Absolutely! You want me to call Sif and-”

“No. Just you and me.”

“Okay. When and where?”

*****

The pizza was delicious, Fandral was great company and Loki still hadn’t called or texted back. Loki probably had a lot on his plate now though, arranging all his stuff in his apartment, finding out where his school was and shopping groceries maybe? He was too busy setting up his new life without Thor. It wouldn’t take long to text a few words though.

“You okay there buddy?” Fandral wiped his mouth and hands on a tissue after swallowing down the last bite of his pizza.

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I’m a bit of a scatterbrain right now.” Thor chugged the last of his coke. His stomach was pleasantly full and he did feel better.

“You’ve always been a scatterbrain.”

“Hey!”

“I mean, when something is really bothering you, you tend to obsess and overthink things.”

“I do?”

“Yes. So, wanna tell me?”

Thor sighed. If nothing else, Fandral was persistent.

“Oh, it’s one of _those_ situations.” Fandral continued before Thor had the chance to tell him to back off.

“One of what?”

“You have that look on your face when you _want_ to tell me something but you don’t know how I’ll react. Or you’re protecting someone else’s secret.”

“Look, I just... I just can’t.”

“Okay, fine. Let’s get out of here. I’ll walk you home.”

They left the pizza place and walked in silence together, slowly. Fandral was limping. As if his abuse earlier this summer hadn’t been enough, he’d managed to stub and bruise one of his toes yesterday. Fandral had insisted on walking anyway so they walked. Thor got lost in his thoughts again, thinking about his brother and why he hadn’t replied yet. They were only a few blocks away from Thor’s house now.

“So, no answer from the dick pic person then?” Fandral asked and Thor shook his head.

“No, I’m sure he’s just busy with setting up his new place and I’m sure uncle En keeps him busy with this and that and just _have to_ show him every single one of his favorite places. Ugh I still hate that guy.”

Fandral stopped dead and his eyes widened and his eyebrows climbed his forehead in record time.

“You... Loki? _You and Loki_?!” Oh shit, Thor didn’t mean for that to slip out.

“W-what? _No_! I meant-”

“Oh my God! You are! You and Loki are...” Fandral waved his hands between them and Thor knew he was busted.

He couldn’t come up with a decent explanation either. Fuck, this would be where Fandral told him to get the fuck out of his life and never to talk to him again. They just had the last supper, didn’t they? Fandral looked around, seeing a few people around them, then closed his mouth and clenched his jaw. He walked past him towards Thor’s house. If he hadn’t had the sore toe, Thor was sure he would have stomped the whole way.

Frigga and Odin were just pulling out of the driveway when they got home, Frigga shouted through the car window that there were ice cream in the freezer if they wanted dessert after pizza. They both waved and smiled at her, then Fandral turned on his heels and went into the house, up the stairs and into Thor’s room. Thor followed him, quite upset that Fandral wouldn’t say a word to him, but in his heart, he knew this would happen one day. Fandral would just be the first of many to come, but he would surely be one of the ones that hurt the most.

“Sit.” Fandral said and pointed to Thor’s bed and Thor did. Fandral sat down across the bed and looked at him.

“Fandral-”

“Stop. Start at the beginning.”

“What?”

“Tell me everything. When this started, what happened between you and such. Not the details though, I don’t think I can handle that.” Fandral looked angry but there was something in his demeanor telling Thor not to bullshit him right now.

Thor rubbed his eyes and decided to tell him. So he told him, reading his expressions as he did. He left out Loki’s online shenanigans though, his friend didn’t need to know that. Fandral’s face didn’t change one bit while Thor told the story. He asked a few questions here and there but kept calm through it all. His eyes blinked a few extra times when Charlie was mentioned but other than that, his face was emotionless.

“And so he left.” Thor finished, eyes watering involuntary. He felt tired. Both from talking so much and from keeping his emotions in check. Fandral was quiet, too quiet while he was staring at Thor. Thor didn’t want to lose his best friend but he was prepared for it to go downwards from here.

“Please say something.” Thor said to fill the silence. It was unnerving, might as well get on with it.

“I’m just trying to take in all this information. Oh my God Thor, how could you not tell me this? This is huge! You didn’t just fuck your brother, you actually fell in love with him.”

“And look what that’s gotten me. Zero. He’s off to Italy and he plans to stay there so... There’s nothing.”

“Nothing? There’s _nothing_? Are you serious?”

“Yeah? There’s nothing I can do.”

“Thor, my dearest best friend. You’re such an idiot.”

“Why am I an idiot this time?”

“Loki loves you, dumbass. God, he loves you more than you’ll ever know.” That didn’t sound like he was asking Thor to never talk to him again or calling him a pervert or worse.

“Wait. Why aren’t you telling me to go to hell right now?”

“Look. I don’t understand it, let’s just make that clear. I don’t... _ship_ it, if you will. And maybe I don’t have to. But you’re my best friend and I love you. Though this is insane and _absolutely crazy_ , I still love you.”

“Thank you.” Thor sniffled and wiped his nose with his sleeve.

“No no, no emotional Thor. I said it before, I can’t handle a weepy Thor.” But Thor leaned over and pulled Fandral into his arms and hugged him tight, trying and failing to stop a few sobs. Fandral hugged him back. When they pulled apart, Fandral was also a bit teary eyed.

“I was scared you would... uh...” Thor said.

“I get it. I guess I’m pretty important to you, huh?” Fandral winked at him, trying to ease the mood.

“Besides my mom and Loki, you are the most important person in my life.” Thor said, as serious as he could be. Fandral's face turned red and he scratched his neck.

“Aw shucks. Why do you have to go and be all sweet like that? You’re lucky I love you back just as much.”

“Yeah. I feel that more than ever right now.”

“Anyway, back to Loki. He loves you Thor, you have to know that.”

“No, I don’t know that. He left. Left the country left.”

“Thor, you’ve been Loki’s big hero since you were kids. Everyone could see that.”

“This is different. I-” Thor was interrupted mid- sentence by his phone ringing. It was Loki, _finally_! He threw a quick glance at Fandral who just nodded and waved his hand to tell Thor to take it.

“Hello?”

“Are you trying to kill me?! The first thing I see when I wake up is your massive cock on my screen!” Loki sounded a bit breathless, so he must have liked it enough. Fandral snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Loki, maybe this isn’t the right-”

“God, I didn’t believe in instant boners before but this was as close as it ever got and-”

“Loki.” Thor blushed as Fandral pushed his face into one of Thor’s pillows to smother his laughter.

“I had a flashback to when we did the video, it was so fucking hot.”

Fandral dropped the pillow from his face, his mouth open and his eyebrow climbing up his forehead. Right, Thor didn’t tell him those parts of the story. Oops?

“Loki, Fandral is here.”

“Oh. Oh shit, did he hear me?”

“No, I didn’t hear a thing!” Fandral called and Loki cursed.

“ _Fuck_.”

“He already knows.”

“He what? _How_?”

“I told him.”

Loki was silent for a few moments, Thor even had to check his phone to see his brother didn’t hang up on him.

“Loki? You still there?”

“Yeah. So you told him and he’s still your friend?” Loki sounded a bit sad.

“Yeah. Apparently I can’t shake him no matter what I do.”

“When Fandral loves you, he loves you for life.” Fandral stated and Thor was about to laugh but Loki sighed into the phone.

“Oh.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine I just... Okay I need to tell you something. Can you go somewhere private?”

“No worries! Your mom said there were ice cream in the freezer so I’ll go get me some.” Fandral limped out the door and even closed it behind him.

“Okay, Fandral can’t hear us. What’s up?”

“I told someone about us.”

“You did? When?”

“When I was out with Bucky and Darcy the last time. I kind of let it slip out when Bucky and I was getting sodas.”

“How did he react?”

“He laughed at first because he thought I was joking and then he kept glancing at me through the night and then Darcy went home with someone and that’s when he kind of freaked out.”

“Freaked out? How?”

“He called me a freak, pervert and told me that he couldn’t be my friend anymore.” Loki went quiet again after that. Thor could see before him how Loki was hugging himself right now.

“I’m sorry. I thought you had a good time with them.”

“I did, at first. Then the secret slipped out and everything went downhill.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault, Thor. Anyway, I was surprised that Fandral-”

“Yeah I kind of let it slip out too.”

“How did he react?”

“He was surprised. And I think he was more upset that I never told him, but he cut through the bullshit and asked me to tell him about it.”

“You told him the truth?”

“Yes. Well, almost. Didn’t tell him about your, uh, online activities.”

“Oh. Oops?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell him.”

“Sure you won’t. So anyway. I’m sorry for... everything.”

“It’s... I’ll be okay. Soon.”

“Okay, that’s okay. Look, I have to go and meet En Dwi for some shopping for the apartment. I’ll send you some pictures of my place, okay?”

“Okay. Talk soon?”

“I’ll call you later today. I guess that makes it tonight for you. Is that okay?”

“Of course.”

“Okay, good. Bye, Thor.”

“Bye.”

They hung up and Thor had to take a moment. He wished he could be there in Italy to hug Loki in comfort. Even after everything, he still wanted to help his brother.

When he walked into the kitchen, Fandral had chocolate ice cream around his mouth and he ate it straight from the tub with probably the biggest spoon he could find. Idiot. Thor smiled fondly at him and grabbed another spoon.

“So...” Fandral said. “You made a video?”

*****

 

From that day it was a bit easier. He and Loki talked a few times a week and sent texts and pictures to one another. Loki’s apartment looked amazing on the pictures he sent. It was actually outside the city and it was a loft apartment at the very top of the seven store building. High, vaulted ceilings and an open plan kitchen/living area. The bathroom seemed on the small side but Loki was happy with it. The bedroom was quite big, much bigger than the one he had here at home. But the view. Oh, the view was amazing. He didn’t have a balcony, but since he lived at the very top of the building, he had a roof terrace. The view was unobstructed and the area in view was protected land so there would be no buildings there, ever. You could see the city and Colosseum in the distance but what Thor focused his eyes on was Loki. It was sunset and the warm light shone Loki right in the eyes, making them even greener and his lashes even darker. His hair looked smooth while it moved in the soft breeze and his smile was wide and genuine. Relaxed in a way Thor hadn’t seen in quite a while. How could he ever ask his brother to give this up just to come back so Thor could have him? He wouldn’t. It was too damn selfish.

But Loki was so beautiful on that pic, Thor wished he could hug him close and bury his nose in his apple-smelling hair. He missed him so much he hurt.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is struggling in school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I've gotten a new job that's eating up my time and energy so posting is scarce, but I am fully aware of the fact. Thank you for sticking with this story, I appreciate every single one of you!♥
> 
> Also, Spot the other fandom! ;)

School sucked and Thor had trouble concentrating on the schoolwork. It wasn’t only because of Loki’s departure, even if it was one of the factors. He tried to keep up with his peers but when he tried too hard, it felt like his head would fall off. He’d hoped he would be a hundred percent restored when school started up again but no, apparently being hit by lightning fuck up your body. The doctors couldn’t guarantee a total recovery either. They told him he may have to prepare himself to be this way for life. His sight was still getting better though, along with his hearing. It was more like when he tried to focus on something for a longer time, his brain felt like it was on fire. Some days he even got nosebleeds, but the doctors said it was normal after what he’d been through.

So a month in and he was already behind his schoolmates in most of the schoolwork. The homework was harder this year and he tried to convey this to his parents. Frigga listened and nodded her head but she couldn’t help him and Odin just told him to try harder, not understanding at all that Thor couldn’t try harder because his body refused to cooperate. His father didn’t listen to anything anyone said anymore and it made Thor kind of sad. The distance between them only grew, even when Thor  made an extra effort to bond with his father again. But it took two people to do that and his father made no effort at all so Thor had just about given up now. If Odin didn’t care, why should Thor? They were family but only by blood. What was it that Dean Winchester said once?  _‘Family don’t end with blood, but it doesn’t start there either.’_ Well Dean is fucking right, can’t argue with that.

*****

His nose was buried in a textbook one night when his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.” Loki’s voice was a bit hoarse.

“Hi. Are you okay? Your voice is a bit rough.”

“I just made a new video for the site.”

“Oh. What did you do?” Screw homework, it could wait. This was much more interesting.

“Well... I bought a couple of new things over here.” Loki’s voice took on that seductive tone he used in his videos and Thor could feel his dick hardening already.

“Really? What things?” Thor went to his door and locked it, then went back to his desk.

“A vibrator, a couple of dildos and vibrating nipple suckers.”

“Nipple what?”

“Suckers. Apparently they suck your nipples and then vibrates? I’m not sure, I haven’t tried them yet.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing, I just pictured it.”

“Really? Tell me.” Thor could hear Loki moving around and fabric shuffling.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting comfortable. So, how did you picture me?”

“Are you sure you wanna do this right now?”

“Yes.”

Thor closed his eyes. He couldn’t believe he was about to do this. They had never gone this far in their conversations, only talking about how they missed each other and how school went and such, barely even PG-13. This would border on NC-17 Explicit stuff.

“You’re on a bed, on your back. Blindfolded.”

“Ooh, I like where this is going. Go on.”

“Your hands are tied to the bedposts.”

“Oooh Thor, you’re getting kinky in your old days.” Loki chuckled.

“Shut up. You want to hear it or not?”

“Yes, sorry. Please continue.”

“You’re naked and the room is dark with only a few candles lit. There’s a silk sheet just below your bellybutton and your long legs are spread wide so the fabric only covers your cock. It’s already tenting.”

“Well can you blame me? I don’t know what my big brother is gonna do to me but I’m obviously very excited about it.” Loki started to sound a little breathless. He was totally getting turned on by it. Thor smiled.

“I join you on the bed and I have one of those feathers on a stick-”

“Feather on a stick? What the hell is that? Isn’t that a toy for cats?” Loki laughed. 

“Fine, just a plain old feather then. I start with your feet. Your toes curl when I drag it under your soles.”

“Well it tickles, of course I curl my toes.” Loki giggled and Thor rolled his eyes.

“Why don’t we do this another time?”

“No, come on! I’m sorry, please go on. What happens next?”

“The mood is gone, Loki.”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just... school stuff.”

“What about it?”

“I think I’m flunking.”

“Flunking? It’s only been a month.”

“I know, I just can’t concentrate like I used to and I’m behind in like every class.”

“Oh. Have you talked to your teachers?”

“I tried. But they think I’m just some jock who’s too lazy to do the work.”

“Jock? You don’t even do any sports.”

“I know! I guess it’s enough to look like one.”

“Maybe you should bring it up with Dr. Banner.”

“What can he do?”

“I don’t know. Maybe have a talk with the counselor at your school and explain?”

“Yeah, that would feel great, not embarrassing at all.” Thor said bitterly. He hated when others spoke for him.

“You mean it would feel less embarrassing to flunk out of your last year in college instead of trying to find a solution because you’re uncomfortable with Dr. Banner speaking on your behalf?”

“No...” When Loki put it like that it sounded so easy.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know. It maybe feels like I’m giving up or something.”

“It’s not giving up, it’s getting help so you can finish college at all.”

“Yeah, I guess. Thank you.”

“No problem. So where were we with the feather?”

Thor laughed, his brother was a lost cause. But before he could reply, there was a knock on his door.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me, honey. Can I come in?” Frigga sounded off.

“It’s mom, I’ll call you back.” Thor said into the phone and then hung up before Loki replied.

Thor opened the door and his mother came in, looking around and smoothing out invisible wrinkles on her clothes.

“What’s wrong?” Thor asked. His mother looked nervous.

“There’s something I would like to discuss with you.”

“Okay. You wanna sit?” Thor pointed her to his desk and sat down on his bed, facing her. She sat down and fiddled with her hands for a few moments before she looked at him.

“Okay, so I’m gonna go right ahead and say it.” She said and paused to find the right words.

“Yeah?” Thor said, trying to help her start.

“I know you’re struggling with school and I’d hate to make it worse...”

“Okay... Did someone die?”

“No. It’s just that I’m having thoughts and I’m thinking that maybe... I want to divorce your father.” Frigga finished and then took a few deep breaths. “Do you hate me?”

“Hate you? Mom, I would _never_ hate you. I’m a bit surprised, that’s all.”

“I know it’s a shock but-”

“No, it’s not that, I’m not shocked. I’m just kind of... impressed that you’re finally doing it.” His mother was the one shocked right now.

“You’re what?”

Thor got back up from the bed and went to his mother and hugged her, giving her a kiss on top of her head.

“I know you’re not happy. I’ve seen it for some time, but I didn’t think I had any say in it. If you need a divorce, then get one. Dad is worse than he’s ever been so I can understand why.”

“You really mean that?” His mother looked hopeful but still had tears in her eyes.

“Of course. I want you to be happy, no matter what.”

Frigga stood and hugged him hard, sniffling a little bit before she pulled back. She cupped his face in her hands and it felt like she looked into his soul when their eyes met.

“Likewise.” She said before she kissed his forehead.

She left him alone, even closing the door after her. Thor was confused. Why did she say that? Did she know? No, she couldn’t possibly know, she’d throw his ass out. Right? He called Loki back.

*****

It didn’t help much talking to Dr. Banner about his issues in school. He had tried to talk to the school and they did try to help Thor as much as they could, but he was still lagging behind. It was frustrating and Thor did his best to keep up but he knew he was failing and fast. He just needed more time for some of the schoolwork but the school had so many other students to cater to. Dr. Banner couldn’t do more to help him with that since it was a physical issue.

His brain was on fire but nobody could help him. He remembered that time when his brother had touched his face when he was bruised after Fandral’s party and it had been like heaven. Gosh, he missed him and his cold hands. Maybe he should try to put an ice pack on his head next time it felt like his brain was turning to ashes in there.

It was getting chilly outside, it was October after all, but it didn’t feel like enough. While he found it easier to breathe, it did nothing for his head. The days grew shorter and he kind of liked that since his eyes didn’t have to strain as much when the sun wasn’t as strong so he could go longer without any of the specially made sunglasses. Thank God, people in class had looked at him funny at first and thought he was a party guy who were always hungover. After his situation had been explained by his teachers to his fellow students, they were much more accommodating and willing to help out like closing the blinds and giving him the seat furthest from the windows and such. He was grateful but it wasn’t enough.

On top of everything, Odin moved out a few days ago. He’d wanted Thor to move with him but Thor had declined. What was the old man thinking anyway? The way he’d behaved with their cousin assaulting Loki had really opened Thor’s eyes wide open. But then again, Loki wasn’t really his son, was he? But in Thor’s mind, it shouldn’t matter if Loki was his biological son or not, assault is assault no matter who it is. While Odin had always been a hard-ass when it came to parenting, Thor had always respected him. Until everything had happened, and he realized his father was an asshole.

Even though it had only been days, Frigga seemed more relaxed and she even smiled at him today. That was a positive at least. It was Thursday and Frigga had texted him and ordered him to invite Fandral for dinner tomorrow since they hadn’t hung out as much as they used to. Fandral had been so happy when Thor called and of course he would come! He wouldn’t miss out on Frigga's food for anything.

*****

“So no girls you like yet?” Frigga asked and then sipped some red wine from her glass. She’s asked Fandral so many questions about college and how he was doing and of course, asked about his love life.

“No. I’ve decided to not date anyone this year. I’m focusing on school and so far it’s working out really well.”

“I’m happy for you.” Frigga smiled and stabbed her fork into another piece of chicken before putting it in her mouth and chewed with her mouth open. Something was different. Thor squinted his eyes at her.

“Mom?”

“Yes darling?”

“Are you drunk?”

“Drunk? No. Tipsy? Yes.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?” Thor asked and looked to Fandral.

“Oh no, Thor my boy. Tipsy is when you’re just getting a light buzz and you feel happy and loving the world. Drunk is when the room is spinning and it feels like the ground is moving.”

“Exactly!” Frigga said and clinked it with Fandral's. “Are you sure you don’t want wine, Fandral?”

“I’m sure, but thank you so much for offering again. Also, this chicken is amazing. Thank you for inviting me tonight.”

“Oh don’t thank me. We’ve missed you a lot in this house.” Frigga looked soft for a moment and Fandral bowed his head and put a hand over his heart.

“And I have missed you, my sweet Queen.” Frigga laughed.

“Not this again.” Thor groaned and rolled his eyes, and they both laughed at him. One time when they were young teens, when Fandral was discovering his talent for acting, he’d managed to convince Frigga to play the Queen to his King when he tried to tell Thor about a story he’d read. After that he’d always bowed before Frigga and called her Queen every time he came over. It only stopped a few years ago and Thor had been grateful. It was ridiculous really. But his mother seemed happy about it. Her nose crinkled, and that only happened when she laughed real hard. And Fandral laughed with her. Thor had to chuckle. There hadn’t been a whole lot of laughing in their house lately.

Thor’s phone rang and he quickly answered it when he saw it was Loki.

“Hey!”

“Hi! Wow, what is that noise?”

“Mom and Fandral going off. He just called her his sweet Queen.”

“Oh no, not that again.”

“That’s what I said!”

“It does sound like they’re enjoying themselves.”

“Yeah. Mom is drunk.”

“I am not! I’m tipsy.” She drank the last of the wine in her glass and continued eating. Loki laughed in his ear and Thor could swear his heart skipped a beat.

“I guess Odin really is gone with all that loud laughter going on. Remember that time when we played superheroes and he came into my room and yelled at us for making too much noise?”

“Yeah. And when he yelled, you started laughing in the middle of it...”

“And he got so angry his face turned red.” Loki laughed wholeheartedly on the line and Thor wished he was here so much. But he laughed anyway, it was a fun memory. It hadn’t fun to be yelled at but when Loki broke and couldn’t stop laughing, Thor couldn’t stop laughing either. Odin had grounded them for two weeks before stomping away.

“So what’s up?”

“Well, I actually called to talk to you but it’s kind of private. Can you excuse yourself for a few moments?”

“Sure.” Thor got up from his seat and nodded to the others before he went to his room and closed the door. “Okay, I’m alone.”

“Good. So, you know that little clip of us online from that one time?”

“Yeah?”

“Um... I’ve been contacted by someone.”

“Someone who?”

“It’s a man with his own company. You know, in the business.”

“Okay?” Where was he going with this?

“Well, he saw our little thing and he wants to see more of it. Us. Together.”

“ _What_?”

“Yeah. He wants us both in a movie thing.”

“What movie thing?” Thor was already blushing just by the thought of it.

“Some gay porn Halloween extra?”

“What does that even mean?”

“I don’t have the exact details yet but Thor, I know about this man. He’s a giant name in the business.”

“So? I don’t want my face in a movie like that!”

“Thor. It’s for Halloween. We'd probably be wearing masks.”

“Okay. But... I’m sorry but I don’t think I can do it.”

“Why not?”

“Because! I’m not comfortable with doing it in front of people.” Just the thought of being in a studio with other people around them was enough to make his dick crawl inwards.

“You were naked live online.”

“That was different.”

“How?”

“Because it was only you and I in the room! Others may have watched but it was still only you and I there.”

“I see. So it’s a no then?”

“Yeah. Sorry but I just can’t.”

“You should know he’s offering us two hundred thousand dollars for it. Just to do it once in front of his cameras.”

“ _Seriously_?”

“Yeah, I know! It’s with Stark Industries so you know it would be nicely done too. It ain't a cheap studio in somebody’s basement. It’s high quality.” Loki sounded like he was excited about it.

“You really want to do it, don’t you?”

“Did you not hear the money part?”

“Is that the only reason you wanna do it?”

“Well... no. It’s a chance to do a real movie with a real studio with a real director and stuff.”

“A director? People would be sitting there and watch us fuck and tell us what to do plus we’d have people with cameras around us.”

“Probably, yeah.”

“I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Okay. I’ll tell him you said no then.”

“Okay. Thank you. You’re not mad at me, are you?”

“Mad? No. I understand. I mean it’s _a lot_ of money, right? But it’s also kind of sweet that you don’t want other people watching us. We do look really good together though.”

“If you say so.”

“You still haven’t watched it, have you?”

“No.” Thor didn’t know why. He just hadn’t.

“Well, your loss. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” Loki sounded like he’d been chided or something.

“Okay.”

“Bye.”

Loki hung up before Thor had a chance to say bye back and  that hurt a bit.  But what did Loki expect anyway?  _Of course_ Thor wouldn’t do it. He  just couldn’t do it. Could he?


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki isn't answering Thor's calls or texts. Thor runs into someone at the grocery store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the absence, life has a tendency to get in your way from time to time. Now I hope I'm finally back.
> 
> If you're still reading this, THANK YOU! You are very patient and deserve the very best! Thank you so much and I hope you like this chapter! ♥

* * *

 

Loki didn’t answer when he called and didn’t reply to any texts he sent. Thor felt sad and as if the  weather-gods knew him, it rained for days. Thor was kind of happy about it though, it eased the pain in his head and he could breathe easier. He had always loved summer most of all seasons until  the last one when it had been unbearable because of what happened. Anger still boiled deep in his chest when he thought about how he may never get better than this. He felt like an asshole for it though because he could’ve died that day.

That goddamn Charlie caused all this. Not only Thor’s current physical problems but everything that had lead up to it. It was him and all his goons’ fault that Loki had fled the fucking country because he didn’t feel safe while they were still here. He just wished he could do something to get Loki back where he belonged; in his arms.

Now Loki seemed to be ghosting him and that just made everything extra sour. His mood, his ability to do his homework, his ability to be a good friend to the friends he still had. He just needed to get out more, his mom said. He should see his friends like old times and party and just relax. But he couldn’t. He  _wouldn’t_ . There’s a difference. The only person he felt like he could talk to about everything was Fandral but he was in such an intense period now with his school projects so he couldn’t hang out too much  and he was exhausted all the time. Thor could relate. He could feel a headache approaching from the very back of his head and he got up to get some painkillers before it broke out fully.

Thor sighed and swiped his phone open.

_I miss your cold fingers of death on my forehead_ , he typed and sent immediately so he didn’t lose the courage to actually send it. He did miss Loki’s cold fingers of death on his face. Well honestly he missed his cold fingers of death everywhere.

He didn’t get a reply.

*****

“Thor, is that you? Oh my God, you’re just as hot as I remember.”

Thor turned around, carton of milk still in his hand. He didn’t recognize that voice. But he did know her though.

“Darcy?”

“Hey! I haven’t seen you since Loki’s party.”

“Yeah.” Thor felt awkward and didn’t know what to say really. Had Bucky told her about what Loki told him? Did she know about them? He looked into her basket to try and find something, anything, to talk about. Tampons, a few chocolate bars and lactose free milk. Huh, he didn’t know the first thing about her except that she was beautiful and his brother’s friend. And now something else.

“I didn’t know you were lactose intolerant.”

“Yeah, it sucks. I mean I can eat it, I won’t die from it but the stomach aches aren’t worth it. Also the extra stinky farts? I can live without those.”

“Heh, I’ll take your word for it. So how is school?” They started walking down an aisle together. Darcy put a few more items into her basket as they kept talking.

“You mean without Loki there to hold my hand? It’s okay. I survive but everything is just more... gray. You know?”

“Yeah.” Thor said, not letting on anything. “What exactly do you mean hold your hand?”

“He didn’t tell you? Oh, well, I have social anxiety. Like this, in the store it’s okay because I can choose to not talk to people I don’t know. But at college? It’s a nightmare. I mean there’s still Bucky but... I don’t know. He’s not as good at calming my nerves and talk me through it. I mean I’m okay most days but then there are those really difficult days where I just wish Loki was still here to hug me and say stupid shit to try to make me laugh.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t think it’s easy for any of us.”

“Right? And you, I mean it must be extra hard for you.” Thor stopped and stared at her.

“What do you mean?”

“I know.”

“Know what exactly?”

“You know. You two. Your last night and all that.”

Thor huffed a breath and scratched his growing beard. Loki had told her and never told Thor he told her. It might have been good with at least a little warning.

“ _God_ , how many people is he gonna tell?”

“Tell? Thor, I was in on it from the beginning okay? I know _everything._ ”

“Oh.” Thor was stunned at first, then he frowned as he run her words through his brain again. “Wait. _In on it_? In on what exactly?”

Darcy looked like a deer caught in the headlight of a big truck driving towards it. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to find something to say.

“Darcy.” He said, and he could feel anger brewing somewhere inside.

“Okay, fine! I’ll tell you. But maybe not here in the store?”

“Okay. Can I give you a ride home?”

“Are you for real? You look pissed but still you’re offering to drive me home? Even in anger, you’re a gentleman. That’s weird.”

“Don’t be silly.”

"It’s hot.” She said and threw a few more things into her basket before they went to pay.

*****

They were sitting in the driveway in front of Darcy’s house. She still lived at home through college, just like Thor, trying to save some money.

“So, spill.” Thor said, cutting right to it.

“Okay, you’re diving right into it. Okay then. Uh... So, I have been in on Loki’s little plan from the start.”

“Little _plan_?”

“To get his brother into bed.”

“ _What?!”_

“No no, no screaming please. Screaming is very bad for anxiety.”

“Sorry. But what the hell do you mean?”

“Look. I don’t know what caused it but he wanted you to fuck him. To be his first. He wanted it for a long time but you never showed any interest in him that way so he wanted my help to devise a plan.”

“This, all of this, was _planned_?”

“No! He just wanted you to be his first, but you guys drifted more apart instead of getting closer so he kinda gave up. And started dating Charlie instead. That was real. And he _was_ gonna sleep with him that night but then all of a sudden you started caring again so he changed his mind. He wanted _you_ again.”

“Hey, I _never_ stopped caring.”

“If you say so. But I know Loki was miserable over you guys drifting apart and he thought you would stop talking to him completely and move in with Jane, that’s where he thought you were headed.”

Thor was overwhelmed with anger, confusion and sadness over Loki’s sadness and now, not knowing what to believe. Had it all been a farce?

“So, now that he... that we were together, he left. Because he got what he wanted?” Thor’s eyes suddenly started to itch from hot tears filling them but before any of them could fall, Darcy took his hand.

“No, Thor. It wasn’t like that. Maybe it started off like that but Thor I have to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“He never in a million years thought he would actually fall in love with you. And he did, I can promise you that.”

“I thought he felt something for me but then he left.”

“Because he _had_ to. Did you know a waitress at fucking Wendy’s asked him if he could describe Charlie’s corpse when he died and what it smelled like, did he shit himself or did his eyes explode.”

“Jesus! What the fuck? What fucking waitress?”

“The blonde one with the slug eyebrows.” Thor chuckled, he knew exactly who she was talking about. She must be about her mid-fifties now. Bleached blond but huge black eyebrows. Once, a few years back, Fandral had picked up a black slug outside and went in there and asked her if she had dropped an eyebrow. She’d chased him out with a broom and Thor thought he would never stop laughing.

“Loki said some people asked about it but I didn’t realize what kind of questions. What a bitch.”

“Not just her though. It happened quite often. People are sick in the head.”

“Well _that_ I know.” Thor said. “Wait, if you’ve been in the know, so to speak. The dick pic-”

“Hey, that was _all_ him. He asked me if I thought it would catch your interest but I told him I had no idea. It was his last try to get your attention. And lo and behold, it worked. When he told me I couldn’t believe my ears.”

“Yeah, I bet you had a good laugh.” Thor said, suddenly bitter. It hadn’t been a mistake after all, had it? 

“Not really.” Darcy smiled, also seeming a bit bitter. She leaned back in the seat and looked at him for a few moments in silence. “I love him too, you know.”

“You do?” That was brand new information. Did Loki know about that?

“He’s my gay best friend but when I see him my heart beats just a little bit faster. I can’t help it. Besides my own family, he’s the most important person in my life.”

“So, he’s your Fandral.” Thor stated. Their friendship sounded similar to his and Fandral.

“Fandral? What’s a Fandral?”

“My best friend. I’m not crushing on him though.”

“Oh wait, was he the guy that Charlie and the asshats beat up?”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“Oh.”

“I’m glad Loki have a friend like you. Someone he can confide in, someone who doesn’t cut him out of their life.”

“I would never do that.”

“I’m glad. Too bad he doesn’t have more of you.”

“Well, he has Bucky too.”

“He didn’t tell you about that?”

“Told me what?”

T hor told her what Loki told him. She listened but shook her head.

“I can’t believe it. I knew _something_ happened between them but I thought they just made out or something and were dealing with some awkward aftermath.”

“That they what now?”

“Oh hush, they obviously didn’t. He wouldn’t do that after you guys started your thing. Never.”

“Well he’s off in Italy now so you never know.”

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Talk like he can’t make his own decisions. He’s eighteen, he knows what he wants and in this case it happens to be you. You just happen to be on different sides of the world at the moment.”

“He didn’t care enough to stay.”

“I’m sorry Thor, but are you always this _whiny_?”

“I’m not whiny. You’re whiny.” Thor muttered. What did she know anyway? She didn’t know Thor at all.

“What are you whining about anyway? You’re still here, living at home, hanging out with people you’ve known all your life. Loki had to go across the world and start over, alone. I know his dad was with him but after he left, Loki has been alone.”

“He’s made new friends.”

“No, he hasn’t.”

“He told me he had.”

“Because he doesn’t want you to worry, you have enough on your own plate, apparently. He was out with some classmates in the beginning but they all spoke Italian the whole time, and too fast for him to keep up, leaving him outside the conversation. He turned them down the next time they asked and he hasn’t been invited again. He’s alone over there, Thor.”

Thor felt guilt brew inside. Darcy was right. Thor had everyone he knew here at home and Loki was over there alone.  It sounded like he was actually really alone and that wasn’t good. Isolation is never good, especially for Loki. He was a social creature,  at least among his own friends,  being  all  alone is not in his nature. Unless he’s pissed off and locks his door of course.  Anyway, Thor was feeling sorry for himself even when he had so much more than Loki did over there. Loki alone. And he still wouldn’t answer when Thor called. He may have said he wasn’t mad at Thor but Thor knew better. If  Loki wasn’t  _mad_ , he was  definitely  _hurting_ over something.  Thor wanted to hug him now, right this instant.

“I can see on your face I struck a nerve somewhere. So I’m gonna hop out and go inside and then you’re gonna drive back home and have a big thinker about all this. If you want to talk some more about, well anything, here’s my number.” She took his phone and took a picture of herself, then added her number to it and gave it back.

“Thanks.”

“Maybe I’ll hear from you some time?”

“Maybe.”

And Thor  _did_ drive home, put away everything he bought and went to his room to lie down and have a big thinker.  Then he called Dr. Banner.

*****

The car drove into the driveway and shut off. Frigga came in with her arms full of grocery bags and put them down on the table. Thor didn’t get up to help her.

“Thor, are you okay sweetie?”

Thor took a deep breath.

“Mom. I need a favor.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess where Thor is going? (this chapter contains a wee bit smut!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok you guys, now I know it's definitely drawing to a close on this fic. Just one or two more chapters, then it's over. Thank you for everything!♥

* * *

Thor checked his watch for the tenth time. It was taking too damn long. The traffic was horrible, his driver honked the horn several times and Thor suspected he was cursing people. He couldn’t be sure though, he didn’t speak the language.

He had spoken to Darcy one more time and had had another revelation. She said Loki knew Thor wanted him and cared about him a lot, but apparently he’d never figured Thor loved him in a different way than brother to brother. That he was _in love_ with him. Because Thor, in his own stupidity, never told him. He was sure he had said it but thinking back on the times he had, he only said “I love you” and the last times he said it, Loki had already fallen asleep. And Loki still didn’t answer his calls or texts so he didn’t really have a choice now, did he? Loki _had_ to know.

“Hey, can you drive faster?” Thor said from the backseat of his taxi.

“No! I go fast as I can. Too many cars in the way.” The driver said and huffed something in Italian so Thor wouldn’t understand. It sounded like ‘dannatamente americano’? What did that mean? Something + American, Thor knew that much. Anyway, Loki’s place was outside of the city and this was the busiest time of the day, _and_ it was Friday, according to his driver. They’d been stuck in traffic in the city for almost, Thor checked his watch again, forty minutes. He was sweating, not only from heat but also his nerves were high strung. What if Loki had had a change of heart and would reject him? He hoped that wouldn’t be the case.

“Now, we free! Now, we go!” his driver said just as they finally broke through the traffic jam. The drove for almost another ten minutes, then up a small hill and then the driver stopped. Thor recognized the house from Loki’s pictures. He was finally here! He stretched as soon as he got out of the car and groaned as his back cracked. Finally some room. The driver helped him get the biggest bag from the trunk, and Thor hefted the other two out from the other side of the backseat. He really hoped Loki wanted him there, he did not want to drag these fucking bags across the world again. Even with Thor’s physique, they were _heavy_.

“Hey,” his driver said as he put the bag down right in front of the entrance. “why you in Rome now and not in summer?”

Thor thought about it but only gave a crooked smile. “Love.” He said and shrugged. The driver smiled.

“Good! Rome is the city of love.”

“I thought Paris was the city of love?”

“Pfft! Fuck Paris, eh?”

“Okay.” Thor chuckled then paid the man. The taxi went off again and Thor wiped his forehead. He squared his shoulders and made his way up the stairs. So many stairs. Seven goddamn floors. Towards the end he dragged his bags instead of carrying them. When he finally got to the top he sat down on the top stair just breathing for a few minutes and collecting himself. Jesus. His whole body felt full of jitters and bubbles. Nervous, excited, hopeful, scared to death. It was all good. Thor pulled himself up. There were only two doors up here and one of them belonged to Loki. He was finally gonna see his brother again. L. Gast the door said. He used Uncle En’s last name. Thor could feel his left eye twitch when he saw it.

He knocked. His heart was thudding loudly in his chest. He heard no movement on the other side. Jesus, maybe he wasn’t even home? Maybe he was sleeping?

Oh, there was a doorbell. He rang it and almost jumped himself with how loud it was. Finally he heard someone walking on the other side, the steps matching his heartbeat. The door unlocked, then only opened a tiny sliver. He saw one of Loki’s eyes, still green as ever. Then the door was swung open all the way and Loki stood there, gaping at him, looking him up and down several times with wide eyes. Suddenly all Thor’s fears, doubts and anger melted away but he still didn’t know what to say, or how to say it.

“I love you.”

“What? I know.” Loki looked like he was about to either roll his eyes or laugh.

“I mean I _love_ you. Not just as brother to brother, but as lover to lover too. I’m _in_ love with you. And I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you that before.” Thor finished.

“Is it really you saying all this stuff?” Loki’s bottom lip started wobbling. Well they couldn’t have that, not now.

Thor closed the short distance between them and cupped Loki’s face in his hands and kissed him.

“Mmph!”

It only took a split second for Loki to go from surprised to kissing him back. Desperately. He wrapped his arms around Thor’s shoulders and hugged him tight, opening his lips for him and welcoming his tongue with a moan. Thor started out hugging Loki’s middle but his hands soon wandered up his brother’s back and buried themselves in the soft hair. They kissed and kissed, Loki sniffled against him and Thor tasted salt but he was _there_ to taste them. They were together again. Thor pulled away a few inches but Loki whimpered, trying to pull him back in.

“I just have to do something.” He whispered and then hugged Loki to him as close as he could and buried his face into those silky strands of black hair. He inhaled deeply and was overjoyed when he smelled... _apples_. It was like Thor was finally home again. Loki huffed a breath, then he chuckled wetly.

“You and my hair.” He said as they finally pulled apart. Loki wiped his eyes but was smiling. He looked out into the hallway and noticed the bags behind Thor. “Let me help you with those!”

Thor looked at him and felt such a tender love for him. He kissed his forehead and then together they carried the bags inside and dropped them. Loki huffed and puffed when he dragged the largest bag into his living area.

“That’s a lot of packing for what? A week?” Loki asked and looked hopeful but Thor shook his head. Loki pouted but Thor took his hands into his.

“If you’re still interested, if the offer still stands to share this place... I was thinking of staying until my last year of college starts next year.”

“What? You’re in your last year of college now.”

“Nope. As of last week, I’m taking a sabbatical. You know, to rest and heal. I got struck by lightning, you know.” He winked.

“Can you even do that?”

“I called Dr. Banner. Then I asked mom for help. Hell, even _dad_ put a bit of work into this.”

“He did?”

“Yeah. I think he even surprised himself. There might still be some humanity in him. Who knew?”

“What if I say no?”

“Then I’ll go back there. At least I got to kiss you once more and smell your hair. And I finally got to tell you something important that I think I forgot to tell you before.”

“Yeah, like you actually came all that way just to tell me you love me.” Loki chuckled.

“Is there a better reason?” Thor asked and Loki did look like he tried to come up with something, but failing. A faint blush spread across his face and he looked down on his naked feet for a few moments before he looked back up.

“You’re really staying?” Loki’s voice was low, almost a whisper, like he didn’t quite believe it. Thor nodded.

“If you want me.”

“You really love me? _In love_ love me?”

“So much I feel like my heart’s about to burst.” Thor went with complete honesty, so there couldn't be any misunderstandings and to be so clear that Loki actually understood him. Loki kissed him, hard. When he pulled back, he was smiling one of his soft, happy smiles. Thor loved those.

“I love you too. I’m in love with you too.” He said and Thor wanted to kiss him like crazy.

But Loki beat him to it, grabbing his hair and pulling him into another lovely kiss. He started walking backwards, dragging Thor with him. But before they could even make it into the bedroom, the doorbell rang, causing them both to jump.

“Shit, I forgot my meeting!” Loki pushed away from him and headed back to the door.

“Meeting? With whom?”

“Tony!” Loki exclaimed as he opened the door to a short man with dark hair and a pair of expensive looking sunglasses. He was sporting a goatee too. Thor thought he looked kinda ridiculous.

“Loki, you look absolutely delicious.” The guy, Tony said. Thor almost growled. Who was this guy and why was he ruining their reunion?

“Oh shush you. Come meet my... Thor.”

Tony did a double take, then lifted his sunglasses to the top of his head. His eyes were a soft brown and he looked Thor over with interest. So much so that Thor almost wanted to cover his crotch with his hands. Why was he looking at Thor like that?

“Wow. You weren’t lying, were you?” He said to Loki but kept sending glances over Thor, appreciative ones. Who the hell was this guy?

“Sorry, but who are you?”

“I’m Tony. Loki’s _friend_.” Why did he put emphasis on friend? Did he imply they were more than that?

“Friend?” Thor looked between them, feeling his anger grow. Loki glared at him at first but then his forehead smoothed out.

“Oh no, not like that. He’s Tony Stark. You know, from Stark Industries? That I told you about over the phone?”

Thor was at a loss. He’d never heard of Tony before.

“What?”

“Stark Industries. The company that offered us two hundred thousand dollars for that thing you didn’t want to do?”

“Oh, okay. Oh... You’re gonna do it anyway?” Thor was confused.

“Only a solo thing, only me. Like I do now but with much better production.”

“Oh.” Thor went over to one of the couches and sat down. He’d lost the mood now. Loki was gonna go ahead anyway without him? Fine, no other people involved but he would still do it in front of a camera man and have people watching him live right there in the same room.

“You okay there, buddy?” Tony sat down next to him and Thor wanted to hiss like an angry cat. But since Loki seemed to like him, Thor had to remain civil towards him at least.

“Yeah. I just need a minute.”

“You know, you could make heaps of money too. Look at you, you’re gorgeous.” Tony looked over him again. So that's why he was looking at Thor all funny. He was assessing him and his...stuff?

“I’m not taking my clothes off in front of a bunch of strangers while they tell me how to move or how to moan a special way.”

“Thor.” Loki whined his name, like he was embarrassed over what Thor said.

“What if I told you that we’re working on new technology that would take all the others out of the room? You would still have your privacy and me and my crew would be in another room, controlling cameras, lighting and sound equipment from there with computers?”

“I don’t know if I’d be comfortable knowing people were looking at us.”

“But you did it before. On Loki’s porn site, you let him blow you live in front of hundreds of people.”

“That was different.”

“How?” Tony asked and Thor opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out. How _was_ it different? If there were cameras but no other people with them in the room, how was is different? He had too think about it. The only difference he could come up with was that they would get better paid. But getting paid to have sex, that was awkward. Yet, if they were gonna live here, it would be good not having to rely on their parents for money all the time. Two hundred thousand dollars would go a long way.

“Thor?” Loki took his hands and he snapped out of it, looking his brother in the eyes. “Are you okay?”

Thor turned his head to Tony, the man was grinning, thinking he had him figured out. Maybe he had a little, but not to a full hundred percent.

“Three.” He said.

“What?” Tony frowned.

“Three hundred thousand dollars.” Loki gasped before he put a hand over his mouth, eyes shining with mirth.

“ _Three_? Are you out of your mind?”

“Three. And no other people in the room with us and only the absolutely necessary people of your crew in the room with you. And no showing of either of our faces.”

“Now just wait a goddamn minute. You don’t call the shots here, buddy.”

“Take or leave it.” Thor stood up from the couch, towering over Tony. The guy didn’t budge though.

“You know what? I think I’m gonna leave it. My studio already pay our stars so much more than other studios so I don’t think so.”

Loki looked at Thor as if he’d grown another head, but very amused by it. How would Thor get them out of this one? Thor clenched his jaws together and kept looking at Loki as he unbuttoned his pants, opened the zipper, then pushed his pants down to his mid thighs, along with his boxers. Then he looked back down at the man sitting in front of him on the couch. Tony’s eyebrows climbed up his forehead as he looked straight ahead, right at Thor’s dick. Thor knew he was blessed and that he was quite large even in a flaccid state. He couldn’t believe he was doing this but he wanted to affirm what he was offering Tony and his studio.

“ _And_ I’m a grower.” Thor stated and Tony’s gaze slowly wandered up his body to his eyes. “Let’s just say that the video Loki and I did, didn’t really do my dick justice. That was just a laptop with a small webcam. Imagine how it would look with _your_ cameras.” Thor crossed his arms over his chest, mostly because he didn’t know what to do with them while he was here, showing his dick to a stranger. Jesus, what the hell was he doing?!

“Take off your shirt.” Tony said and leaned back on the couch again. Tony was playing with him now. Thor wouldn’t let him win though. So he not only took off his shirt, he stepped out of his pants too. Tony tried to play it like he was unaffected but Thor could definitely see that his pants were a bit tighter now than they were when he arrived.

“Oh, do a twirl, Thor.” Loki giggled. He was definitely enjoying himself, wasn’t he? But Thor did it. He stretched his arms over his head to show off his height, then slowly turned, giving Tony a good look on his butt and muscular thighs. When he was facing him again, Tony was biting a nail.

“Two fifty.” He said and Loki looked surprised but overjoyed.

“Three.” Thor stated. “Three and I’ll pretend I don’t see you growing a boner right now.”

Tony blushed and shifted in his seat. They had him now.

“If I give you three I want a whole fucking _movie_ with the two of you, not just a few scenes.”

“Deal.” Thor reached out his hand to Tony and Tony shook it.

“I apologize Tony, but I think you should go and write up the contracts now, because I’m gonna bed my Loki here and you’re not invited.”

Tony bowed his head with a smile and hurried out, leaving them alone, finally. Loki closed and locked the door after him, then laughed loudly.

“My God Thor, you were amazing! I was so surprised you did that!”

“Talk later. Bed now.” Thor said and Loki’s pupils grew instantly. His brother licked his lips, then turned on his heels and ran towards the bedroom, and squealed in delight when he saw Thor was chasing after him.

Loki threw his clothes off as fast as he could, almost falling on his face when he tried to step out of his pants using only his feet. When Loki was completely naked, they embraced and kissed deeply while pressing their bodies together.

“God, I missed you.” Loki said against his lips, pressing kiss after kiss to them.

“Me too.” Thor said before he pushed his brother right in the middle of his chest so he fell backwards onto the bed. He even bounced a little. Thor crawled over him, peppering his skin with little kisses. He blew a raspberry on Loki’s belly, making him laugh. It was the best sound in the world.

“You know, I was preparing to do a video when you knocked on the door. I think I’m still pretty slick from that.”

“Unh.” Was all Thor could say as he started kissing down his brother’s neck.

Loki tilted his head back, giving him room to do more. Thor sucked and loudly kissed his skin down to where his neck met his shoulder and gently bit him.

“Yes.” Loki gasped. Thor circled his tongue over the flesh as he worked upwards again until he reached Loki’s ear. Instead of licking into his ear, he buried his nose in Loki’s hair again and breathed deeply. Loki chuckled. “You really do have a thing for my hair, don’t you?”

“Maybe. You just smell so damn _good_. I tried to use the mist you left for me but it wasn’t the same. It didn’t smell like _you_. Now, it’s perfect.” Thor put his lips to the skin on Loki’s neck again, covering up that he got a bit emotional saying the words, because he meant them so much. His eyes even watered a bit so he closed them, losing himself in Loki’s smell and the feeling of his body beneath him. He couldn’t believe it. And oh, Loki’s cock was already hard against his own. Perfect.

“Thor, fuck me.”

“Not yet.”

“Don’t start that again. I’m properly prepared.”

“I don’t care. We did it your way the first time. Now we do it my way.” Thor pulled back from his brother’s neck. “I told you there were things I wanted to do then that I didn’t get to do.”

“Like what?” Loki asked cheekily but yelped when Thor flipped him around to his front.

“I’ve thought about this. Fantasized about this. I even fucking dreamed about it a couple of times.” Thor said as he pulled Loki’s hip until he was kneeling. Thor pushed his legs further apart, making more room for himself. “It’s okay if you want to skip a few steps but you’re not taking this away from me this time, no way.”

“Taking what- Oh!” Loki gasped at the first lick against his hole.

Thor held Loki’s cheeks apart and flicked his tongue over the opening a few times. Then he licked more firmly around it and played at the opening with the tip of his tongue, getting it wet with saliva.

“Oh fuck.” Loki moaned and grabbed the bedding into his fists.

Loki hadn’t lied, he had prepared because his entrance yielded pretty quickly when Thor pressed more of his pointed tongue against it. The whole tip of his tongue slid inside and Loki made a sound he hadn’t heard before. Thor’s greatest fear with rimming was that he would taste something he really didn’t want to taste but this was nothing like he thought it would be. All he could taste was a bit salt from Loki’s sweat, otherwise he tasted clean. Thor moaned when Loki clenched down, and Loki shivered when Thor moaned. Thor pulled his tongue out and licked around the rim again, before just teasing the opening again. Instead of pushing it inside, he made a quick detour down to Loki's balls, poking them a little before sucking them into his mouth, one by one. He could see Loki’s cock straining against his belly, drops already forming on the head, only to either slide down his cock or drip to the sheet below them.

“Thor, please.” Loki whined.

Thor slid his tongue back to his entrance and teased again with a few licks before he dipped inside again. Loki pushed back on his tongue, wanting more. Thor slid more of his tongue into the slick opening.

“Yes, more.” Loki gasped. Thor’s own cock throbbed with need now and he knew he had to get inside his brother soon. But he kept licking and fucking him with his tongue until Loki started whining, _demanding_ his cock instead of his tongue.

“Lube?” Thor said and it took just a few seconds before he had a tube in his hands. He quickly covered two of his fingers and rubbed the slick around the hole before slowly pushing them inside. They went in pretty easily and Thor was glad, he probably didn’t have to prep him for that long.

“Mmh, yes. So good.” Loki pushed back, his hole sucking his fingers in all the way.

Thor twisted them around, moving them in and out of his brother to slick him up even more, then he bent them and Loki wailed loudly. Bingo. Thor continued to work his brother open, making sure to press against his prostate every time, making funny sounds spill over Loki’s lips every time. Loki was sweating now, Thor could see his back glistening with moisture. Fuck, he wanted to taste it.

“Thor, pleeeaaase!” Loki begged and honestly, how could he refuse this time?

He pulled his fingers out of his brother and wiped them on the ruffled cover next to him. He grabbed the lube again and squeezed out a good amount that he stroked over his cock a few times. He got to his knees behind his brother and rubbed his cockhead over Loki's entrance, adding a bit of extra slick to it. Loki tilted his hips for him so Thor grabbed his cock and held it firmly as he gently pushed inside.

“Oh God, I forgot how fucking big you were.” Loki groaned as he held still. Thor continued to push until his head finally popped inside. They moaned in unison at the sensation. Thor automatically paused, not to save his brother from any discomfort but to save himself the embarrassment of coming to soon.

“Fuck. You’re so tight.” Thor panted and licked his lips. He could still taste his brother on them.

“Move.”

“I can’t. I’ll come and I don’t want to do that before I’ve fucked you.”

“Aw, you flatter me brother.” Loki chuckled but his voice was hoarse so he wasn’t exactly unaffected either.

“Shut up.” Thor said as they both held still. He breathed deeply, getting himself under control.

“I think it’s sweet. I didn’t even suck your cock or anything but you’re ready to come already.” Loki teased. He laughed softly but was rudely interrupted as Thor started pressing inside again. “Unh, _God_.”

Thor pulled back a few inches and pushed further inside this time. Loki keened before gasping his name. Thor repeated the motion until he was balls deep inside his brother. He paused again, bending over Loki’s back, licking a stripe over his spine. His sweat was a bit salty but his skin tasted like Loki smelled. He loved it, it was intoxicating. Loki arched his back towards him and he licked another stripe over the flesh before dragging his teeth over it. He pulled back only a few inches before he fucked back into his brother deeply and held it there as deep as he could go.

“Oh, oh _fuck_. Do that again!” Loki panted. Thor did it again and again, until Loki turned into a babbling mess. His own cock was throbbing but since he paused and held still between the thrusting, he could hold out longer this time.

“Fuck Loki, you’re like velvet around my cock. I could fuck you for hours.” Loki didn’t reply but cried out as Thor did the same thing again and again.

Thor bent over him completely now and laced their fingers together and nuzzled his neck. He pulled out a bit more this time and slowly slid it inside and pressed deep again and held it there. Loki sobbed.

“Baby, are you okay?”

“S-so good. Can I please come?”

“Hmm. No.” Loki whined and Thor almost laughed. Thor had thought that their next time would be a rushed (and embarrassingly quick) affair but this was so much better. “Kiss me, brother.” Thor said and Loki turned his head as much as he could and Thor leaned over him further and locked their lips together. Loki sobbed into his mouth as he slowly moved his hips, doing the same thing again. Loki clenched around him this time and Thor groaned into Loki’s mouth just as their tongues found each other. Thor tasted salt and looking at his brother’s face up close, he had actual tears running down his cheeks.

“Loki, I’m sorry. Am I hurting you?”

“N-no. But fuck I f-feel all of it. It’s so go-od!” Loki cried out the last part of the word because Thor pulled out halfway and pushed all the way inside. But he didn’t hold it still this time.

He started fucking Loki gently but his own cock started jerking so he knew he was close. Loki gasped and pushed back on his cock with every thrust. Thor held his brother’s hands tighter as he thrust into him hard.

“Yes, Thor, yes!” Loki cried loudly. Thor was grateful they weren’t back home in the tree house because the neighbors would have heard them. The whole fucking neighborhood would have heard them.

“Fuck, Loki, you feel so good. So good for me.” Thor panted and blinked the sweat from his eyes as he started pounding into his brother, each thrust hard and angling for Loki’s prostate.

It seemed like he found it because it took only minutes before Loki was crying out his name like a mantra, his thighs shivering with his orgasm just looming over the edge. Thor buried his nose in the back of Loki's neck, pressing a kiss there, then he moved his nose into his hair again. It sent waves of desire through his body and he was so close to coming himself.

“Come for me Loki. I wanna feel you come around me.” Thor said into his ear and Loki let out a long whine and his back arched as his body went taut.

His hole pulsed around Thor’s cock before squeezing it like a vice. Thor fucked into him a few more times and decided to finish off by burying himself deeply again as his cock finally burst like a goddamn fountain. His cock pulsed load after load into his brother and Thor could only gasp for air as his body emptied itself of his life force. That’s what it felt like. After his pulse calmed, he finally moved, carefully withdrawing his dick from Loki’s hole. He laid down on his side and Loki collapsed beside him. He was still sobbing.

“Hey, are you alright?” Thor asked, stroking his cheek softly. Loki nodded, but tears still fell. “Are you sure? Did I do something that hurt you?”

“N-no. I’m just a b-bit overwhelmed I think.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Thor pulled Loki to him and wrapped his arms around him. Loki sobbed into his chest and Thor stroked his back and petted his hair softly, hushing him and pressing kisses to his forehead.

“I love you, Loki. I’m here.” He said and kept up his soft touches for a while. The sobbing calmed down when Loki’s body relaxed more, and then stopped altogether.

“Are you okay, baby?” He asked quietly. His only reply was a loud snore and Thor had to bite his lips to not burst into laughter.

*****

Thor also fell asleep eventually, the day getting too damn long. He didn’t sleep on the flight and barely anything the night before leaving. He was tired to the bones.

When he opened his eyes again, it was dark and he could barely see anything. He was about to sit up when he heard a soft sigh by his side and a body pressing closer against him. His heart lurched with happiness. Loki was in his arms when he woke up this time. Thor rolled over to his side and slung and arm over Loki’s side and just held him close.

“Thor, are you awake?” Loki whispered.

“Mm, depends on what you want me to do.” He nuzzled his nose in Loki’s neck again and his brother shivered.

“Not much. You’re just laying on top of the covers and I’m freezing. Also we should probably change the sheets.” Thor groaned and pulled Loki closer to him for a few moments, then let him go.

“Alright, let’s do it while we’re both awake. Maybe we could squeeze in a shower too?”

“Oh yes please. You stink.”

“ _You_ stink.” Thor muttered but he could hear the smile in his own voice.

They changed the sheets first, then went into the shower, together. It was a tight fit with both of them in there but they made it work. They exchanged kisses and helped wash each other. Loki’s ass was really sore and after the shower, Thor helped him apply some of that cooling balm on his puffy hole. He was careful so he wouldn’t hurt him. It did look like it hurt quite a bit but Loki assured him he was just sore.

When they crawled back into bed, it was almost 3 in the morning. Even though they had slept, they were both still exhausted and they settled in, close together. Then they slept peacefully.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day after Thor arrived.

* * *

Thor woke up with the sun shining in his face. He grimaced and tried to turn his head. Suddenly his head started pounding and it felt like his brain was burning. He groaned loudly and turned to his side away from the sun but it was too late. He grabbed his head and hissed in pain as it increased.

“Thor, what’s wrong?” Loki sat up next to him.

“My head. Sun.” He groaned again and Loki jumped from the bed and closing the curtains, throwing the whole room into shadow.

“Do you have any painkillers somewhere in your bags?”

“Big one. Bottom.” Thor panted as he put pressure to his temples. He wanted to scream.

He heard his brother rummage through the bag, then Loki cursed loudly. Thor managed to open one eye and he saw Loki tearing things out of the bag, then holding it upside down, shaking it’s contents to the floor. If he wasn’t in so much pain, he would’ve laughed at the sight. At last, the pill bottles fell out and Loki hurried out of the room and it didn’t even take a minute until he was back with a big glass of water, and his pills. Thor leaned up on his elbows as he took a swallow of water to wet his pipes, then two brightly orange pills and swallowed them down with two large gulps of water. Loki pushed him to lie down again and then climbed into bed with him, sitting up against the headboard. Thor whimpered as there was an evil throb behind his eyes.

“Shh, shh. Take it easy.” Loki hummed with a soothing voice and then put a hand on Thor’s forehead. Thor moaned at the cold that quickly beat back the pain further back into his head. It probably wasn’t like that but that’s how it felt. Loki then proceeded to put his other, equally cold, hand over his eyes.

“Thank you.” Thor moaned gratefully.

“Shh, relax. Just relax, let the pain go.” Loki said and kept his icy digits over Thor’s face.

Thor relaxed into the pillow, breathing deeply. Back home it would have taken him an hour, hour and a half to overcome the pain in his head but he could already feel it receding, thanks to his brother. Thor sighed as the pain became more manageable within fifteen minutes. Not gone completely but manageable. He took Loki’s hands off his face and looked up at him.

“Better?” Loki smiled.

“Much. Thank you.” Thor pulled Loki’s hands so he almost fell over him, in a fit of giggles. Thor kissed him gently, then pulled back and just looked at him.

“I’m glad I could help.” Loki smiled softly.

“I love you.” Thor hummed.

“I love you too.” Loki pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Do you want breakfast?”

“Yes please. What do you have?” Thor started sitting up but Loki ordered him to stay in bed. Loki disappeared through the door and Thor could hear him rummaging through the kitchen for supplies and banged a few pans, cursing them and their mothers for making too much noise. Thor smiled as he still laid in bed. He jumped as Loki’s cellphone started buzzing on the nightstand. Thor glanced towards the door and then rolled over to Loki’s side of the bed, then looked at the screen. He smiled.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Loki? You sound weird.” Darcy said. Thor cleared his throat and decided to trick her.

“Um, yeah, I think I’m coming down with something.” Thor whispered and almost laughed.

“Really?” Then Darcy was quiet for a few moments before she spoke. “I just called to ask if your idiot brother landed yet.” Thor’s face fell.

“What?”

“Yeah. I saw him in the store. God, he is so goddamn whiny, I don’t know what you see in him.”

“He’s not whiny.”

“And did I mention how _ugly_ he is? Not even a stray dog would lick that face.”

Thor sighed. Admitting defeat.

“When did you know?”

“I had you at hello. Hi Thor. I assume you’ve made it since you’re answering Loki’s phone?” Thor could hear the smile in her voice.

“Yeah. Landed yesterday afternoon.”

“Really? I thought he would’ve called me to freak out about you just showing up at his doorstep.”

“He probably would have if he’d had the time.”

“Aw, you dirty old man.” Darcy laughed. “So you two are good then?”

“Yeah. He’s making me breakfast now.”

“That’s great. Well then I better hang up, let you guys be alone for a while. Tell him I called and to call me later, okay?”

“Absolutely.”

“Okay then. Bye, Thor. Make him happy, okay?”

“I will. Bye, Darcy.”

Just as Thor hung up, Loki came back in carrying a breakfast tray, still completely naked. On it were two plates, one with four pieces of toast, the other with scrambled eggs, two large glasses of milk and utensils. Thor put down Loki's phone and sat back against the headboard. Loki put the tray in the middle of the bed and climbed in after it.

“What were you doing with my phone?”

“Darcy called. She said you should call her later.”

“Oh. Wasn’t she surprised when you answered?” Loki grabbed a fork and put some scrambled eggs on toast before biting into it.

“She knew I was coming.”

“She _did_?! Se didn’t tell me that!”

“Well no, that would have spoiled the surprise.”

“Wait, how did she know you were coming?”

“I met her in the store and we got to talking for a while.” Thor dug into the food too and the eggs were really good. Creamy. Much better than Thor’s.

“Huh. Well I’m glad you did.”

“Me too.”

They smiled shyly at each other then continued eating the rest of the breakfast in silence. Thor was the one who carried the tray back to the kitchen. He made to wash the dishes but Loki shook his head at him, then gestured to a door below the sink, and it turned out it wasn’t a cupboard but a dishwasher. After putting away everything from breakfast, Thor surprised Loki by grabbing his hips, then lifting him up on top of the island. Loki winced as he was seated.

“Still sore?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry, it’ll be better in a day or two.”

“Hmm. I guess I have to pleasure you in some other way.”

Thor leaned forward and kissed him, pushing Loki’s legs wide apart. He kissed down Loki’s chest, played briefly with his nipples before reaching his prize.

“What are you doing, Thor?” Loki did sound a little breathless.

“You deserve a reward for making me breakfast in bed and healing my head.” Thor murmured and nuzzled into Loki’s crotch. He kissed the soft scrotum before slowly dragging his tongue over it. He mouthed the side of Loki’s still soft cock too.

“This isn’t very sanitary, you know.” Loki said but buried his fingers in Thor’s hair anyway.

“We’ll clean it up.” Thor engulfed his brother’s dick in one go and slurped loudly around it as he pulled off.

“Oh.” Loki said softly and put one of his feet up on the island, giving Thor even better access.

His cock was quickly growing hard under Thor’s ministrations. Thor fondled the soft sack with one hand while the other slowly stroked the inside of Loki’s raised leg. He slowly bobbed his head on Loki’s dick, enjoying the feeling of it growing inside his mouth. Last time he did this, Loki had already been hard. It was wondrous, the human body was truly fascinating. Loki gasped above him and Thor pulled off for a moment to kiss his brother again. Loki gripped his hair harder and demanded a deeper kiss. Thor loved it.

“Now, get back down there and suck my cock.” Loki murmured against his lips and Thor happily obeyed. Now, fully hard, Loki’s cock hit the back of his throat every time he went down on it. Thor gagged the first few times so he stopped stroking Loki’s thigh so he could put his fist on Loki’s cock instead, between his mouth and the base. He started sucking him off in earnest and an increasing speed until Loki huffed above him, his hips jerking and muscles in his stomach twitching before his eyes.

“Fuck Thor, I’m close.” Loki pulled his hair as to pull him off but Thor growled deep from his chest and kept sucking him off. Thor could taste the difference, and he loved it. He made an extra effort to work his tongue along the underside of Loki’s cock and when he circled it right under the head, Loki’s whole body seemed to spasm.

“God, I’m, I’m gonna-” Loki hissed between his clenched teeth and Thor couldn’t stop looking at his brother.

Loki panted loudly and let his mouth hang open, eyes closed like he was in another world. He suddenly gripped Thor’s hair so tight like he tried to tear it out, then he fucked upwards into Thor’s mouth, all the way to the back of his throat and his cock spurted his release. Thor gagged at the pressure in his throat but he managed to pull back enough to not puke. He moaned around Loki’s cock as his mouth was filled with the taste of him. Thor bobbed his head a few more times as Loki gasped his way through it. Loki slumped back over the island, throwing an arm across his eyes.

“Fuck, Thor.” He said, still panting.

“So, was it payment enough?” Thor smiled as he wiped his chin, clearing it from his brother’s come. He saw a kitchen towel and wiped his hand on it, then did another swipe of his face.

“Definitely. I think I’m gonna make you breakfast every morning now.”

Thor laughed and pulled Loki up from his place, kissing him. Loki put his arms around his shoulders and hummed.

“That was wonderful. Thank you.” Loki said and put his head on Thor’s shoulder. They hugged, just enjoying having each other so close. Thor couldn't stop himself, so he sniffed his brother’s hair. Loki chuckled.

“What?”

“You’re so ridiculous. Do you always have to sniff my hair?” Loki pulled back and looked up at him, smile wide.

“Yes.” Thor smiled before he kissed Loki’s forehead.

Thor helped him down from the kitchen island, slapped his butt, then Loki gave him a bucket with cleaning supplies as he himself has to get dressed. Thor sighed as he sprayed the counter with some disinfectant spray, then wiped it down with a few paper towels. He looked around the kitchen and the living room. It was spotless. And beautiful, Loki’s photos didn’t do it justice. It was spacious, Thor thought as he slowly walked around the place. The high ceiling was amazing and for once, Thor actually felt small. Then his eyes shifted and there, on a wall right above the couch were Loki’s knives. Thor’s heart throbbed in his chest, a mix of fondness and sadness taking over him.

Loki’s face when he got them had been amazing, he was so happy to get them. And Thor had been so happy to give them to him. He wished he had been there when Loki threatened their cousin Erik with one of them. Damn, he would’ve paid good money to see the expression on Erik's face when Loki pulled it out. Thor smiled just thinking about it. Then, finally when Thor had last seen them was the day when Loki fought and stabbed Charlie’s buffoons when they both had fought for their lives, for each other’s lives. The day their lives changed forever.

Thor’s problems were mostly physical. Sure, he’d had nightmares about all that had happened that day, but he struggled the most with trying to find his way back to his old physique, to get back to who he was before it happened. He still had his muscles, true, but he could suddenly be floored by a crushing headache and nausea on a too sunny day. Even when he was strong, he was weak.

Loki was still healing too but his scars were not on his body but in his mind. He probably still had nightmares about it all. Loki’s face and ribs had taken the most abuse but that was all healed now. What he still had to fight mentally must be so much harder. And he was over here to do that but he’d been alone. Darcy told him Loki had no friends and Thor hurt for him. The body mended itself where it could, even if it took a while sometimes but psychologically, you kind of need people to help you through it. And Loki didn’t have anyone here. Thor had to wonder if Loki had actually dealt with any of it since he got here.

“What are you doing?” Loki asked beside him. Thor jumped because he hadn’t heard his steps, too lost in his mind.

“Just, uh, looking at the knives.”

“Why do you have tears in your eyes?” Loki looked over his face and Thor was shocked to notice he was right.

“I just remembered it all.” Thor looked back to the knives. “I could have lost you that day.”

“And I could have lost you. Almost did.” Loki hugged him around his midsection and he put his arms around Loki’s shoulders, kissing him on top of his head. They looked at the knives for a few moments until Loki shivered.

“You okay?”

“No. But I will be.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Let’s not spoil the day.” Loki half joked and pulled away from Thor, his face already closing off but Thor held on to him.

“Something you’re not telling me?”

Loki looked away, avoiding his eyes. So there _was_ something he was hiding about that day. Thor knew it.

“Thor, I don’t... can’t...”

“Did Charlie do something to you before I got there? Did- did he...”

“Rape me? No. They just slapped me around, no biggie.”

“No biggie? Those guys were huge. And three against one. Fucking cowards.” Thor spat, getting worked up just thinking about it.

“Thor, it’s not that. It’s about you.”

“ _Me_? What did I do?” Thor couldn’t remember he did anything out of the ordinary. Loki huffed, went into the bedroom and fetched the clothes Thor had worn the day before. Thor put them on, then they sat down where they sat the day before, Thor on the couch and Loki on the table before him, looking unsure.

“You _have_ to believe me about this, Thor. I’m not sure what I saw that day. I mean, I _know_ what I saw but it’s impossible. Dr. Banner said it was impossible, my therapist over here told me the same thing. They say it’s just a figment of my mind, stitching itself together from the trauma of everything that happened.”

“What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t do anything!”

“Don’t get defensive with me.” Loki drew his eyebrows together, looking at him angrily. “This is not an accusation or anything it’s just... I don’t know. I can’t believe it. I even called O'Neill to get to read the statements from the police that were there that day. They all say the same thing. Their words tell me that I’m wrong, that I didn’t see what I saw. But I’m so _sure_ , Thor. I feel like maybe I _am_ losing my mind.”

“What did you see?” Thor asked, intrigued. Loki never told him what he actually saw that day.

“I saw...” Loki licked his lips and gave an awkward chuckle. “I saw you getting hit by the lightning. _First_. The witnesses, all of them, say Charlie was hit first and _then_ it hit you, that’s why you lived and he didn’t. And that is the explanation the doctors went with too. But I _know_ the lightning hit you first. You were reaching out towards Charlie to stop him from hitting me that final time, screaming your heart out and then the lightning hit you. Then it shot out from your arms and hit Charlie.” Loki wiped tears from his eyes, his hands shaking. He wasn’t crying per se, it was more like he was truly _freaked_ and his eyes watered involuntary.

“What?” He breathed. Thor didn’t know how it could be possible. If he had been hit directly, he would have died, the doctors told him so. But he remembered Loki’s words to him the day he woke up. “At the hospital, after, you did tell me I was hit directly.”

“Yes, and that was my statement to the police too. But then they all agreed that it would’ve been impossible for you to survive that so, therefore I was wrong. I had suddenly seen things that never happened. And I even left out the part with you, you know.” Loki held out his arms, gesturing like Thor had done that day.

“Loki, are you a hundred percent sure that’s what you saw?”

“The other statements-”

“Loki. Is that what _you_ saw.”

“Yes.” Loki nodded, biting his lips as to not let them wobble. “Do- do you think I’m crazy?” Loki scratched his eyes now to try and keep tears from spilling. Thor grabbed his wrists and pulled him into his lap and hugged him.

“I believe you.” Thor said and Loki slumped against him. Thor kissed the side of his face and cradled him in his arms. Loki had been alone in this for longer than he thought. He’d been alone in his own trauma almost from the start, even back home.

“Thank you.” Loki said and leaned heavy against Thor’s chest.

“I will never think you’re crazy.” He kissed Loki’s hair and his brother only nodded. “I only wish you had told me sooner. That the others stopped believing you must’ve felt like shit.”

“Mom and Odin didn’t believe me either.” Loki said, sadness lacing his voice.

“Did En Dwi?” Loki shook his head.

“Nobody believed you? Not one single person?”

“Darcy said that if I say it’s true, then it’s true but I don’t think she actually believes it.”

“Oh, baby. I’m sorry.” Thor turned his face towards him and looked him straight in the eyes. “I believe you. Nobody but us knows what happened because they weren’t close enough.”

“How can you believe me just like that?” Loki smiled weakly.

“Because... I don’t know. When I struggled to get to you, I asked the Gods to help me and then I screamed and everything went white. I never saw the lightning hit Charlie and I was looking right at him when the lightning struck. Everything just went white.”

“And then you couldn’t see.”

“And my hands were burning like I’d put them into a fire.”

Loki watched his face intently, probably to see if he was honest or not. Then he leaned in for a kiss and Thor happily kissed him back.

“Then maybe I’m not crazy after all.” He smiled.

“Well, you _are_ in love with your _brother_.” Thor said and Loki’s lips twitched into a wide smile.

“So are you.”

“I never claimed to be sane in the first place.” Thor shrugged and Loki laughed out loud before kissing him on the cheek.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too. So, what should we do for the rest of the day?”

“Let’s get gelato! I know the best little place just fifteen minutes from here.”

Their little detour for ice cream instead turned into a small tour of Rome. Loki dragged him along and they held hands almost the entire way. Thor loved they could do that out in public here. He should’ve gone with Loki when he first left. Thor could so thick sometimes. But he was here now and he already knew in his heart that if Loki wanted to stay here forever, so would he.

*****

A few days later Thor woke up around noon, Loki still in his arms. Again it made him so happy that he was allowed to wake up like this. He remembered the frustration from before when they had had their little moments and when he woke up, Loki was gone. But they _had_ to sneak around then so their parents wouldn’t find out. That last time when Loki left for Italy had been the hardest, most painful one. It still hurt when he thought about it. Thor had been devastated. But yet, here they were now. Free to do what they wanted, when they wanted. Together.

Their bedroom was bright with sunshine but not hitting Thor directly in the eyes this time. Loki had pulled the curtains halfway so they would still get the sunshine in here, just not shining either of them in the face. Thor turned his eyes to Loki again.

His brother looked peaceful, his face relaxed and without a worry in the world. His soft breaths tickled Thor’s neck and Thor almost chuckled from it. He gently stroked his fingers over Loki’s back, loving the feel of the smooth skin under his fingertips. Loki was eighteen but his skin was still soft like a damn peach. Thor couldn’t remember he ever had skin like that. Maybe it was something he had inherited from his biological father? And even though Loki had lived in Italy for a while, he was still pale. At the moment his lips were red both from kissing and sucking Thor’s cock down his throat not too long ago. His silky black hair was a mess though, Thor had enjoyed messing it up. But Loki was so beautiful with all his pale skin, red lips and dark hair. It hit Thor then. His brother was Snow white! Thor started shaking with held back laughter. Loki would kill him.

“What the hell is so funny?” Loki groused, definitely not happy at being awoken this way.

“Nothing, go back to sleep.”

“What time is it?”

“Almost 12.30.”

“Aw shit, I missed school.”

“Yes. Too late to do anything about it now though. Call them and say you’re sick or something and go back tomorrow.”

“Mhm, I think I have to.” Loki sat up and dragged his fingers through his hair. His stomach growled.

“Hungry?” Thor asked, amused.

“Yeah. Hey, do we have any apples left?” Thor lost it, his boisterous laughter echoing through their apartment, and Loki pummeled him with a pillow when he told him why.


End file.
